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1。 First Sight
This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep。
High school。
Or was purgatory the right word？ If there was any way to atone for my sins； this
ought to count toward the tally in some measure。 The tedium was not something I grew
used to； every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last。
I suppose this was my form of sleep—if sleep was defined as the inert state
between active periods。
I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria；
imagining patterns into them that were not there。 It was one way to tune out the voices
that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head。
Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom。
When it came to the human mind； I'd heard it all before and then some。 Today；
all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student
body here。 It took so little to work them all up。 I'd seen the new face repeated in thought
after thought from every angle。 Just an ordinary human girl。 The excitement over her
arrival was tiresomely predictable—like flashing a shiny object at a child。 Half the
sheep…like males were already imagining themselves in love with her； just because she
was something new to look at。 I tried harder to tune them out。
Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste： my family； my
two brothers and two sisters； who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that
they rarely gave it a thought。 I gave them what privacy I could。 I tried not to listen if I
could help it。
Try as I may； still？I knew。
Rosalie was thinking； as usual； about herself。 She'd caught sight of her profile in
the reflection off someone's glasses； and she was mulling over her own perfection。
Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
2
Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night。 It
would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a
rematch。 I never really felt intrusive hearing Emmett's thoughts； because he never
thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action。 Perhaps I only felt
guilty reading the others' minds because I knew there were things there that they
wouldn't want me to know。 If Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool； then Emmett's was a
lake with no shadows； glass clear。
And Jasper was？suffering。 I suppressed a sigh。
Edward。 Alice called my name in her head； and had my attention at once。
It was just the same as having my name called aloud。 I was glad my given name
had fallen out of style lately—it had been annoying； anytime anyone thought of any
Edward； my head would turn automatically？
My head didn't turn now。 Alice and I were good at these private conversations。
It was rare that anyone caught us。 I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster。
How is he holding up？ she asked me。
I frowned； just a small change in the set of my mouth。 Nothing that would tip the
others off。 I could easily be frowning out of boredom。
Alice's mental tone was alarmed now； and I saw in her mind that she was
watching Jasper in her peripheral vision。 Is there any danger？ She searched ahead； into
the immediate future； skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my
frown。
I turned my head slowly to the left； as if looking at the bricks of the wall； sighed；
and then to the right； back to the cracks in the ceiling。 Only Alice knew I was shaking
my head。
She relaxed。 Let me know if it gets too bad。
I moved only my eyes； up to the ceiling above； and back down。
Thanks for doing this。
I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud。 What would I say？ 'My pleasure'？ It
was hardly that。 I didn't enjoy listening to Jasper's struggles。 Was it really necessary to
experiment like this？ Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
3
to handle the thirst the way the rest of us could； and not push his limits？ Why flirt with
disaster？
It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip。 That was not an immensely
difficult time span for the rest of us。 A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human
walked too close； if the wind blew the wrong way。 But humans rarely walked too close。
Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand： we were
dangerous。
Jasper was very dangerous right now。
At that moment； a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours；
stopping to talk to a friend。 She tossed her short； sandy hair； running her fingers through
it。 The heaters blew her scent in our direction。 I was used to the way that scent made me
feel—the dry ache in my throat； the hollow yearn in my stomach； the automatic
tightening of my muscles； the excess flow of venom in my mouth？
This was all quite normal； usually easy to ignore。 It was harder just now； with the
feelings stronger； doubled； as I monitored Jasper's reaction。 Twin thirsts； rather than just
mine。
Jasper was letting his imagination get away from him。 He was picturing it—
picturing himself getting up from his seat next to Alice and going to stand beside the little
girl。 Thinking of leaning down and in； as if he were going to whisper in her ear； and
letting his lips touch the arch of her throat。 Imagining how the hot flow of her pulse
beneath the fine skin would feel under his mouth？
I kicked his chair。
He met my gaze for a minute； and then looked down。 I could hear shame and
rebellion war in his head。
〃Sorry；〃 Jasper muttered。
I shrugged。
〃You weren't going to do anything；〃 Alice murmured to him； soothing his
chagrin。 〃I could see that。〃
I fought back the grimace that would give her lie away。 We had to stick together；
Alice and I。 It wasn't easy； hearing voices or seeing visions of the future。 Both freaks
among those who were already freaks。 We protected each other's secrets。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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〃It helps a little if you think of them as people；〃 Alice suggested； her high；
musical voice too fast for human ears to understand； if any had been close enough to
hear。 〃Her name is Whitney。 She has a baby sister she adores。 Her mother invited Esme
to that garden party； do you remember？〃
〃I know who she is；〃 Jasper said curtly。 He turned away to stare out one of the
small windows that were spaced just under the eaves around the long room。 His tone
ended the conversation。
He would have to hunt tonight。 It was ridiculous to take risks like this； trying to
test his strength； to build his endurance。 Jasper should just accept his limitations and
work within them。 His former habits were not conducive to our chosen lifestyle； he
shouldn't push himself in this way。
Alice sighed silently and stood； taking her tray of food—her prop； as it were—
with her and leaving him alone。 She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement。
Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship； it was Alice and
Jasper who knew each other's every mood as well as their own。 As if they