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I would never know what she'd been thinking and doing here； and that had my
teeth grinding together in frustration。 Worse； this was far too much like the scenario I'd
imagined for Emmett—Bella wandering alone in the woods； where her scent would call
to anyone who had the senses to track it？
I groaned。 Not only did she have bad luck； but she courted it。
Well； for this moment she had a protector。 I would watch over her； keep her from
harm； for as long as I could justify it。
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I suddenly found myself wishing that Peter and Charlotte would make an
extended stay。
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8。 Ghost
I did not see much of Jasper's guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks。 I
only went home at all so that Esme wouldn't worry。 Otherwise； my existence seemed
more like that of a specter than a vampire。 I hovered； invisible in the shadows； where I
could follow the object of my love and obsession—where I could see her and hear her in
the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her；
sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own。 She never reacted
to such contact； their hands were just as warm as hers。
The enforced absence from school had never been a trial like this before。 But the
sun seemed to make her happy； so I could not resent it too much。 Anything that pleased
her was in my good graces。
Monday morning； I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the potential to
destroy my confidence and make the time spent away from her a torture。 As it ended up；
though； it rather made my day。
I had to feel some little respect for Mike Newton； he had not simply given up and
slunk away to nurse his wounds。 He had more bravery than I'd given him credit for。 He
was going to try again。
Bella got to school quite early and； seeming intent on enjoying the sun while it
lasted； sat at one of the seldom used picnic benches while she waited for the first bell to
ring。 Her hair caught the sun in unexpected ways； giving off a reddish shine that I had
not anticipated。
Mike found her there； doodling again； and was thrilled at his good luck。
It was agonizing to only be able to watch； powerless； bound to the forest's
shadows by the bright sunlight。
She greeted him with enough enthusiasm to make him ecstatic； and me the
opposite。
See； she likes me。 She wouldn't smile like that if she didn't。 I bet she wanted to
go to the dance with me。 Wonder what's so important in Seattle？
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He perceived the change in her hair。 〃I never noticed before—your hair has red in
it。〃
I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he
pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers。
〃Only in the sun；〃 she said。 To my deep satisfaction； she cringed away from him
slightly when he tucked the strand behind her ear。
It took Mike a minute to build up his courage； wasting some time on small talk。
She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday。 From the faintly
smug expression on her face； hers was already done。 He'd forgotten altogether； and that
severely diminished his free time。
Dang—stupid essay。
Finally he got to the point—my teeth were clenched so hard they could have
pulverized granite—and even then； he couldn't make himself ask the question outright。
〃I was going to ask if you wanted to go out。〃
〃Oh；〃 she said。
There was a brief silence。
Oh？ What does that mean？ Is she going to yes？ Wait—I guess I didn't really
ask。
He swallowed hard。
〃Well； we could go to dinner or something？and I could work on it later。〃
Stupid—that wasn't a question either。
〃Mike？〃
The agony and fury of my jealousy was every whit as powerful as it had been last
week。 I broke another tree trying to hold myself here。 I wanted so badly to race across
the campus； too fast for human eyes； and snatch her up—to steal her away from the boy
that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it。
Would she say yes to him？
〃I don't think that would be the best idea。〃
I breathed again。 My rigid body relaxed。
Seattle was just an excuse； after all。 Shouldn't have asked。 What was I thinking？
Bet it's that freak； Cullen？
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〃Why？〃 he asked sullenly。
〃I think？〃 she hesitated。 〃And if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I
will cheerfully beat you to death—〃
I laughed out loud at the sound of a death threat coming through her lips。 A jay
shrieked； startled； and launched itself away from me。
〃But I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings。〃
〃Jessica？〃 What？ But？ Oh。 Okay。 I guess？ So？ Huh。
His thoughts were no longer coherent。
〃Really； Mike； are you blind？〃
I echoed her sentiment。 She shouldn't expect everyone to be as perceptive as she
was； but really this instance was beyond obvious。 With as much trouble as Mike had had
working himself up to ask Bella out； did he imagine it wasn't just as difficult for Jessica？
It must be selfishness that made him blind to others。 And Bella was so unselfish； she saw
everything。
Jessica。 Huh。 Wow。 Huh。 〃Oh；〃 he managed to say。
Bella used his confusion to make her exit。
〃It's time for class； and I can't be late again。〃
Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from then on。 He found； as he turned the
idea of Jessica around and around in his head； that he rather liked the thought of her
finding him attractive。 It was second place； not as good as if Bella had felt that way。
She's cute； though； I guess。 Decent body。 A bird in the hand？
He was off then； on to new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones about
Bella； but now they only irritated rather than infuriated。 How little he deserved either
girl； they were almost interchangeable to him。 I stayed clear of his head after that。
When she was out of sight； I curled up against the cool trunk of an enormous
madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind； keeping her in sight； always glad when
Angela Weber was available to look through。 I wished there was someway to thank the
Weber girl for simply being a nice person。 It made me feel better to think that Bella had
one friend worth having。
I watched Bella's face from whichever angle I was given； and I could see that she
was sad again。 This surprised me—I thought the sun would be enough to keep her
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smiling。 At lunch； I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table；
and that thrilled me。 It gave me hope。 Perhaps she missed me； too。
She had plans to go out with the other girls—I automatically planned my own
surveillance—but these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date
he'd planned for Bella。
So I went straight to her home instead； doing a quick sweep of the woods to make
sure no one dangerous had wandered too close。 I knew Jasper had warned his one…time
brother to avoid the town—citing my insanity as both explanation and warning—but I
wasn't taking any chances。 Peter and Charlotte had no intention of causing animosity
with my family； but i