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my car； close enough that the left side of my body felt submerged in the heat from her
skin。
It was a strange experience； both enjoyable and nerve…racking； but I preferred this
to sitting across the table from her。 It was more than I was used to； and yet I quickly
realized that it was not enough。 I was not satisfied。 Being this close to her only made me
want to be closer still。 The pull was stronger the closer I got。
I had accused her of being a magnet for danger。 Right now； it felt like that was
the literal truth。 I was danger； and； with every inch I allowed myself nearer to her； her
attraction grew in force。
And then Mr。 Banner turned the lights out。
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It was odd how much of a difference this made； considering that the lack of light
meant little to my eyes。 I could still see just as perfectly as before。 Every detail of the
room was clear。
So why the sudden shock of electricity in the air； in this dark that was not dark to
me？ Was it because I knew that I was the only one who could see clearly？ That both
Bella and I were invisible to the others？ Like we were alone； just the two of us； hidden in
the dark room； sitting so close beside one another？
My hand moved toward her without my permission。 Just to touch her hand； to
hold it in the darkness。 Would that be such a horrific mistake？ If my skin bothered her；
she only had to pull away？
I yanked my hand back； folded my arms tightly across my chest and clenched my
hands closed。 No mistakes。 I'd promised myself that I would make no mistakes； no
matter how minimal they seemed。 If I held her hand； I would only want more—another
insignificant touch； another move closer to her。 I could feel that。 A new kind of desire
was growing in me； working to override my self…control。
No mistakes。
Bella folded her arms securely across her own chest； and her hands balled up into
fists； just like mine。
What are you thinking？ I was dying to whisper the words to her； but the room
was too quiet to get away with even a whispered conversation。
The movie began； lightening the darkness just a bit。 Bella glanced up at me。 She
noted the rigid way I held my body—just like hers—and smiled。 Her lips parted slightly；
and her eyes seemed full of warm invitations。
Or perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see。
I smiled back； her breathing caught with a low gasp and she looked quickly away。
That made it worse。 I didn't know her thoughts； but I was suddenly positive that I
had been right before； and that she wanted me to touch her。 She felt this dangerous desire
just as I did。
Between her body and mine； the electricity hummed。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
251
She didn't move all through the hour； holding her stiff； controlled pose as I held
mine。 Occasionally she would peek at me again； and the humming current would jolt
through me with a sudden shock。
The hour passed—slowly； and yet not slowly enough。 This was so new； I could
have sat like this with her for days； just to experience the feeling fully。
I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed；
rationality struggling with desire as I tried to justify touching her。
Finally； Mr。 Banner turned the lights on again。
In the bright fluorescent light； the atmosphere of the room returned to normal。
Bella sighed and stretched； flexing her fingers in front of her。 It must have been
uncomfortable for her to hold that position for so long。 It was easier for me—stillness
came naturally。
I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face。 〃Well； that was interesting。〃
〃Umm；〃 she murmured； clearly understanding what I referred to； but making no
comment。 What I wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking right now。
I sighed。 No amount of wishing was going to help with that。
〃Shall we？〃 I asked； standing。
She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet； her hands splayed out as if she
were afraid she was going to fall。
I could offer her my hand。 Or I could place that hand underneath her elbow—just
lightly—and steady her。 Surely that wouldn't be such a horrible infraction？
No mistakes。
She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym。 The crease was in evidence
between her eyes； a sign that she was deep in thought。 I； too； was thinking deeply。
One touch of her skin wouldn't hurt her； my selfish side contended。
I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand。 It wasn't exactly difficult； as
long as I was firmly in control of myself。 My tactile sense was better developed than a
human's； I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them； I could
stroke a soap bubble without popping it。 As long as I was firmly in control？
Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral。 Temporary。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
252
How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life？ How much time did
I have？ Would I have another chance like this chance； like this moment； like this second？
She would not always be within my arm's reach？
Bella turned to face me at the gym's door； and her eyes widened at the expression
on my face。 She didn't speak。 I looked at myself in the reflection of her eyes and saw
the conflict raging in my own。 I watched my face change as my better side lost the
argument。
My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so。 As gently as if she
were made of the thinnest glass； as if she were fragile as a bubble； my fingers stroked the
warm skin that covered her cheekbone。 It heated under my touch； and I could feel the
pulse of blood speed beneath her transparent skin。
Enough； I ordered； though my hand was aching to shape itself to the side of her
face。 Enough。
It was difficult to pull my hand back； to stop myself from moving closer to her
than I already was。 A thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an
instant—a thousand different ways to touch her。 The tip of my finger tracing the shape of
her lips。 My palm cupping under her chin。 Pulling the clip from her hair and letting it
spill out across my hand。 My arms winding around her waist； holding her against the
length of my body。
Enough。
I forced myself to turn； to move away from her。 My body moved stiffly—
unwilling。
I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away； almost running
from the temptation。 I caught Mike Newton's thoughts—they were the loudest—while
he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion； her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red。 He
glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head； I couldn't help
grinning slightly in response。
My hand was tingling。 I flexed it and then curled it into a fist； but it continued to
sting painlessly。
No； I hadn't hurt her—but touching her had still been a mistake。
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It felt like fire—like the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my
entire body。
The next time I was close to her； would I be able to stop myself from touching her
again？ And if I touched her once； would I be able to stop at that？
No more mistakes。 That was it。 Savor the mem