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of was probably； to her strained inner sense； the group of golden
ones； of any occasion for seeing the hazy sunshine slant at that
angle into the smelly shop； of any range of chances for his wishing
still to repeat to her the two words she had in the Park scarcely
let him bring out。 〃See heresee here！〃the sound of these two
words had been with her perpetually； but it was in her ears to…day
without mercy； with a loudness that grew and grew。 What was it
they then expressed？ what was it he had wanted her to see？ She
seemed； whatever it was； perfectly to see it nowto see that if
she should just chuck the whole thing； should have a great and
beautiful courage； he would somehow make everything up to her。
When the clock struck five she was on the very point of saying to
Mr。 Buckton that she was deadly ill and rapidly getting worse。
This announcement was on her lips； and she had quite composed the
pale hard face she would offer him： 〃I can't stopI must go home。
If I feel better； later on； I'll come back。 I'm very sorry； but I
MUST go。〃 At that instant Captain Everard once more stood there；
producing in her agitated spirit； by his real presence； the
strangest； quickest revolution。 He stopped her off without knowing
it； and by the time he had been a minute in the shop she felt
herself saved。
That was from the first minute how she thought of it。 There were
again other persons with whom she was occupied； and again the
situation could only be expressed by their silence。 It was
expressed； of a truth； in a larger phrase than ever yet； for her
eyes now spoke to him with a kind of supplication。 〃Be quiet； be
quiet！〃 they pleaded； and they saw his own reply： 〃I'll do
whatever you say； I won't even look at yousee； see！〃 They kept
conveying thus； with the friendliest liberality； that they wouldn't
look； quite positively wouldn't。 What she was to see was that he
hovered at the other end of the counter； Mr。 Buckton's end； and
surrendered himself again to that frustration。 It quickly proved
so great indeed that what she was to see further was how he turned
away before he was attended to； and hung off； waiting； smoking；
looking about the shop； how he went over to Mr。 Cocker's own
counter and appeared to price things； gave in fact presently two or
three orders and put down money； stood there a long time with his
back to her； considerately abstaining from any glance round to see
if she were free。 It at last came to pass in this way that he had
remained in the shop longer than she had ever yet known to do； and
that； nevertheless； when he did turn about she could see him time
himselfshe was freshly taken upand cross straight to her postal
subordinate； whom some one else had released。 He had in his hand
all this while neither letters nor telegrams； and now that he was
close to herfor she was close to the counter…clerkit brought
her heart into her mouth merely to see him look at her neighbour
and open his lips。 She was too nervous to bear it。 He asked for a
Post…Office Guide； and the young man whipped out a new one；
whereupon he said he wished not to purchase； but only to consult
one a moment； with which； the copy kept on loan being produced； he
once more wandered off。
What was he doing to her？ What did he want of her？ Well； it was
just the aggravation of his 〃See here！〃 She felt at this moment
strangely and portentously afraid of himhad in her ears the hum
of a sense that； should it come to that kind of tension； she must
fly on the spot to Chalk Farm。 Mixed with her dread and with her
reflexion was the idea that； if he wanted her so much as he seemed
to show； it might be after all simply to do for him the 〃anything〃
she had promised； the 〃everything〃 she had thought it so fine to
bring out to Mr。 Mudge。 He might want her to help him； might have
some particular appeal； though indeed his manner didn't denote
thatdenoted on the contrary an embarrassment； an indecision；
something of a desire not so much to be helped as to be treated
rather more nicely than she had treated him the other time。 Yes；
he considered quite probably that he had help rather to offer than
to ask for。 Still； none the less； when he again saw her free he
continued to keep away from her； when he came back with his thumbed
Guide it was Mr。 Buckton he caughtit was from Mr。 Buckton he
obtained half…a…crown's…worth of stamps。
After asking for the stamps he asked； quite as a second thought；
for a postal…order for ten shillings。 What did he want with so
many stamps when he wrote so few letters？ How could he enclose a
postal…order in a telegram？ She expected him； the next thing； to
go into the corner and make up one of his telegramshalf a dozen
of themon purpose to prolong his presence。 She had so completely
stopped looking at him that she could only guess his movements
guess even where his eyes rested。 Finally she saw him make a dash
that might have been toward the nook where the forms were hung； and
at this she suddenly felt that she couldn't keep it up。 The
counter…clerk had just taken a telegram from a slavey； and； to give
herself something to cover her； she snatched it out of his hand。
The gesture was so violent that he gave her in return an odd look；
and she also perceived that Mr。 Buckton noticed it。 The latter
personage； with a quick stare at her； appeared for an instant to
wonder whether his snatching it in HIS turn mightn't be the thing
she would least like； and she anticipated this practical criticism
by the frankest glare she had ever given him。 It sufficed： this
time it paralysed him； and she sought with her trophy the refuge of
the sounder。
CHAPTER XXI
It was repeated the next day； it went on for three days； and at the
end of that time she knew what to think。 When； at the beginning；
she had emerged from her temporary shelter Captain Everard had
quitted the shop； and he had not come again that evening； as it had
struck her he possibly mightmight all the more easily that there
were numberless persons who came； morning and afternoon； numberless
times； so that he wouldn't necessarily have attracted attention。
The second day it was different and yet on the whole worse。 His
access to her had become possibleshe felt herself even reaping
the fruit of her yesterday's glare at Mr。 Buckton； but transacting
his business with him didn't simplifyit could； in spite of the
rigour of circumstance； feed so her new conviction。 The rigour was
tremendous； and his telegramsnot now mere pretexts for getting at
herwere apparently genuine； yet the conviction had taken but a
night to develop。 It could be simply enough expressed； she had had
the glimmer of it the day before in her idea that he needed no more
help than she had already given； that it was help he himself was
prepared to render。 He had come up to town but for three or four
days； he had been absolutely obliged to be absent after the other
time； yet he wou