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us； hand and foot； not we！〃
〃Enough； mother； no more please；〃 Avdotya Romanovna implored。 〃Pyotr
Petrovitch； do be kind and go！〃
〃I am going； but one last word；〃 he said； quite unable to control
himself。 〃Your mamma seems to have entirely forgotten that I made up
my mind to take you； so to speak； after the gossip of the town had
spread all over the district in regard to your reputation。
Disregarding public opinion for your sake and reinstating your
reputation； I certainly might very well reckon on a fitting return；
and might indeed look for gratitude on your part。 And my eyes have
only now been opened！ I see myself that I may have acted very； very
recklessly in disregarding the universal verdict。。。。〃
〃Does the fellow want his head smashed？〃 cried Razumihin； jumping
up。
〃You are a mean and spiteful man！〃 cried Dounia。
〃Not a word！ Not a movement！〃 cried Raskolnikov； holding Razumihin
back； then going close up to Luzhin； 〃Kindly leave the room！〃 he
said quietly and distinctly； 〃and not a word more or。。。〃
Pyotr Petrovitch gazed at him for some seconds with a pale face that
worked with anger； then he turned； went out； and rarely has any man
carried away in his heart such vindictive hatred as he felt against
Raskolnikov。 Him； and him alone； he blamed for everything。 It is
noteworthy that as he went downstairs he still imagined that his
case was perhaps not utterly lost； and that； so far as the ladies were
concerned； all might 〃very well indeed〃 be set right again。
Chapter Three
THE FACT was that up to the last moment he had never expected such
an ending； he had been overbearing to the last degree； never
dreaming that two destitute and defenceless women could escape from
his control。 This conviction was strengthened by his vanity and
conceit； a conceit to the point of fatuity。 Pyotr Petrovitch； who
had made his way up from insignificance； was morbidly given to
self…admiration； had the highest opinion of his intelligence and
capacities； and sometimes even gloated in solitude over his image in
the glass。 But what he loved and valued above all was the money he had
amassed by his labour； and by all sorts of devices： that money made
him the equal of all who had been his superiors。
When he had bitterly reminded Dounia that he had decided to take her
in spite of evil report； Pyotr Petrovitch had spoken with perfect
sincerity and had； indeed； felt genuinely indignant at such 〃black
ingratitude。〃 And yet； when he made Dounia his offer； he was fully
aware of the groundlessness of all the gossip。 The story had been
everywhere contradicted by Marfa Petrovna； and was by then disbelieved
by all the townspeople； who were warm in Dounia'a defence。 And he
would not have denied that he knew all that at the time。 Yet he
still thought highly of his own resolution in lifting Dounia to his
level and regarded it as something heroic。 In speaking of it to
Dounia； he had let out the secret feeling he cherished and admired；
and he could not understand that others should fail to admire it
too。 He had called on Raskolnikov with the feelings of a benefactor
who is about to reap the fruits of his good deeds and to hear
agreeable flattery。 And as he went downstairs now； he considered
himself most undeservedly injured and unrecognised。
Dounia was simply essential to him； to do without her was
unthinkable。 For many years he had voluptuous dreams of marriage；
but he had gone on waiting and amassing money。 He brooded with relish；
in profound secret； over the image of a girl… virtuous； poor （she must
be poor）； very young； very pretty； of good birth and education； very
timid； one who had suffered much； and was completely humbled before
him； one who would all her life look on him as her saviour； worship
him； admire him and only him。 How many scenes； how many amorous
episodes he had imagined on this seductive and playful theme； when his
work was over！ And； behold； the dream of so many years was all but
realised； the beauty and education of Avdotya Romanovna had
impressed him； her helpless position had been a great allurement； in
her he had found even more than he dreamed of。 Here was a girl of
pride； character； virtue； of education and breeding superior to his
own （he felt that）； and this creature would be slavishly grateful
all her life for his heroic condescension； and would humble herself in
the dust before him； and he would have absolute； unbounded power
over her！。。。 Not long before； he had； too； after long reflection and
hesitation； made an important change in his career and was now
entering on a wider circle of business。 With this change his cherished
dreams of rising into a higher class of society seemed likely to be
realised。。。。 He was； in fact； determined to try his fortune in
Petersburg。 He knew that women could do a very great deal。 The
fascination of a charming； virtuous； highly educated woman might
make his way easier； might do wonders in attracting people to him；
throwing an aureole round him； and now everything was in ruins！ This
sudden horrible rupture affected him like a clap of thunder； it was
like a hideous joke； an absurdity。 He had only been a tiny bit
masterful； had not even time to speak out； had simply made a joke；
been carried away… and it had ended so seriously。 And； of course； too；
he did love Dounia in his own way； he already possessed her in his
dreams… and all at once！ No！ The next day； the very next day； it
must all be set right； smoothed over； settled。 Above all he must crush
that conceited milksop who was the cause of it all。 With a sick
feeling he could not help recalling Razumihin too； but； he soon
reassured himself on that score； as though a fellow like that could be
put on a level with him！ The man he really dreaded in earnest was
Svidrigailov。。。。 He had； in short； a great deal to attend to。。。。
…