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benefits。 What it did say； however； was that he thought it wrong
of me to have settled a matter of such spiritual importance in so
great a hurry； though he had observed that rich men were nearly
always selfish where their time was concerned。 Moreover； he
considered that I ought first to have made inquiries as to his
present character and attainments； etc。； etc。
To this epistle I replied by telegraph to the effect that I
should as soon think of making inquiries about the character of
an archangel； or that of one of his High Church saints。 This
telegram； he told me afterwards； he considered unseemly and even
ribald； especially as it had given great offence to the
postmaster； who was one of the sidesmen in his church。
Thus it came about that I appointed the Rev。 Basil Bastin to
the living of Fulcombe； feeling sure that he would provide me
with endless amusement and act as a moral tonic and discipline。
Also I appreciated the man's blunt candour。 In due course he
arrived； and I confess that after a few Sundays of experience I
began to have doubts as to the wisdom of my choice； glad as I was
to see him personally。 His sermons at once bored me； and； when
they did not send me to sleep； excited in me a desire for debate。
How could he be so profoundly acquainted with mysteries before
which the world had stood amazed for ages？ Was there nothing too
hot or too heavy in the spiritual way for him to dismiss in a few
blundering and casual words； as he might any ordinary incident of
every…day life； I wondered？ Also his idea of High Church
observances was not mine； or； I imagine； that of anybody else。
But I will not attempt to set it out。
His peculiarities； however； were easy to excuse and entirely
swallowed up by the innate goodness of his nature which soon made
him beloved of everyone in the place； for although he thought
that probably most things were sins； I never knew him to discover
a sin which he considered to be beyond the reach of forgiveness。
Bastin was indeed a most charitable man and in his way
wide…minded。
The person whom I could not tolerate； however； was his wife；
who； to my fancy； more resembled a vessel； a very unattractive
vessel； full of vinegar than a woman。 Her name was Sarah and she
was small； plain； flat； sandy…haired and odious； quite obsessed；
moreover； with her jealousies of the Rev。 Basil； at whom it
pleased her to suppose that every woman in the countryside under
fifty was throwing herself。
Here I will confess that to the best of my ability I took care
that they did in outward seeming； that is； whenever she was
present； instructing them to sit aside with him in darkened
corners； to present him with flowers； and so forth。 Several of
them easily fell into the humour of the thing； and I have seen
him depart from a dinner…party followed by that glowering Sarah；
with a handful of rosebuds and violets； to say nothing of the
traditional offerings of slippers； embroidered markers and the
like。 Well； it was my only way of coming even with her； which I
think she knew； for she hated me poisonously。
So much for Basil Bastin。 Now for Bickley。 Him I had met on
several occasions since our college days； and after I was settled
at the Priory from time to time I asked him to stay with me。 At
length he came； and I found out that he was not at all
comfortable in his London practice which was of a nature
uncongenial to him； further； that he did not get on with his
partners。 Then； after reflection； I made a suggestion to him。 I
pointed out that； owing to its popularity amongst seaside
visitors； the neighbourhood of Fulcombe was a rising one； and
that although there were doctors in it； there was no really
first…class surgeon for miles。
Now Bickley was a first…class surgeon； having held very high
hospital appointments； and indeed still holding them。 Why； I
asked； should he not come and set up here on his own？ I would
appoint him doctor to the estate and also give him charge of a
cottage hospital which I was endowing； with liberty to build and
arrange it as he liked。 Further； as I considered that it would be
of great advantage to me to have a man of real ability within
reach； I would guarantee for three years whatever income he was
earning in London。
He thanked me warmly and in the end acted on the idea； with
startling results so far as his prospects were concerned。 Very
soon his really remarkable skill became known and he was earning
more money than as an unmarried man he could possibly want。
Indeed； scarcely a big operation took place at any town within
twenty miles； and even much farther away； at which he was not
called in to assist。
Needless to say his advent was a great boon to me； for as he
lived in a house I let him quite near by； whenever he had a spare
evening he would drop in to dinner； and from our absolutely
opposite standpoints we discussed all things human and divine。
Thus I was enabled to sharpen my wits upon the hard steel of his
clear intellect which was yet； in a sense； so limited。
I must add that I never converted him to my way of thinking and
he never converted me to his； any more than he converted Bastin；
for whom； queerly enough； he had a liking。 They pounded away at
each other； Bickley frequently getting the best of it in the
argument； and when at last Bastin rose to go； he generally made
the same remark。 It was：
〃It really is sad； my dear Bickley； to find a man of your
intellect so utterly wrongheaded and misguided。 I have convicted
you of error at least half a dozen times； and not to confess it
is mere pigheadedness。 Good night。 I am sure that Sarah will be
sitting up for me。〃
〃Silly old idiot！〃 Bickley would say； shaking his fist after
him。 〃The only way to get him to see the truth would be to saw
his head open and pour it in。〃
Then we would both laugh。
Such were my two most intimate friends； although I admit it was
rather like the equator cultivating close relationships with the
north and south poles。 Certainly Bastin was as far from Bickley
as those points of the earth are apart； while I。 as it were； sat
equally distant between the two。 However； we were all very happy
together； since in certain characters； there are few things that
bind men more closely than profound differences of opinion。
Now I must turn to my more personal affairs。 After all； it is
impossible for a man to satisfy his soul； if he has anything of
the sort about him which in the remotest degree answers to that
description； with the husks of wealth； luxury and indolence；
supplemented by occasional theological and other arguments
between his friends； Becoming profoundly convinced of this truth；
I searched round for something to do and； like Noah's dove on the
waste of waters； found nothing。 Then I asked Bickley and Bastin
for their opinions as to my best future course。 Bickley proved a
barren draw。 He rubbed his nose and feebly suggested that I migh