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〃Es gazpacho；〃 the waiter said。
They drank Valdepefias now from a big pitcher and it started to build with the foundation of the marismeiio only held back temporarily by the dilution of the gazpacho which it moved in on confidently。 It built solidly。
〃What is this wine？〃 Catherine asked。
〃It's an African wine；〃 David said。
〃They always say that Africa begins at the Pyrenees；〃 Catherine said。 〃I remember how impressed I was when I first heard it。〃
〃That's one of those easy sayings；〃 David said。 〃It's more complicated than that。 Just drink it。〃
〃But how can I tell about where Africa begins if I've never been there？ People are always telling you tricky things。〃
〃Sure。 You can tell。〃
〃The Basque country certainly wasn't like Africa or anything I ever heard about Africa。〃
〃Neither is Asturias nor Galicia but once you're in from the coast it gets to be Africa fast enough。〃
〃But why didn't they ever paint that country？〃 Catherine asked。 〃In all the backgrounds it is always the mountains out by the Escorial。〃
〃The sierra；〃 David said。 〃Nobody wanted to buy pictures of Castilla the way you saw it。 They never did have landscape painters。 The painters painted what was ordered。〃
〃Except Greco's Toledo。 It's terrible to have such a wonderful country and no good painters ever paint it；〃 Catherine said。
'What should we eat after the gazpacho？〃 David said。 The
proprietor； who was a short middle…aged man； heavily built and square faced； had come over。 〃He thinks we ought to have meat of some kind。〃
〃Hay solomillo muy bueno；〃 the owner insisted。
〃No； please；〃 Catherine said。 〃Just a salad。〃
〃Well； at least drink a little wine；〃 the proprietor said and refilled the pitcher from the spigot of the cask behind the bar。
〃I shouldn't drink；〃 Catherine said。 〃I'm sorry I'm talking so much。 I'm sorry if I talked stupidly。 I usually do。〃
〃You talk very interestingly and awfully well for a hot day like this。 Does the wine make you talkative？〃
〃It's a different sort of talkative than absinthe；〃 Catherine said。 〃It doesn't feel dangerous。 I've started on my good new life and I'm reading now and looking outward and trying not to think about myself so much and I'm going to keep it up but we ought not to be in any town this time of year。 Maybe we'll go。 The whole way here I saw wonderful things to paint and I can't paint at all and never could。 But I know wonderful things to write and I can't even write a letter that isn't stupid。 I never wanted to be a painter nor a writer until I came to this country。 Now it's just like being hungry all the time and there's nothing you can ever do about it。〃
〃The country is here。 You don't have to do anything about it。 It's always here。 The Prado's here；〃 David said。
〃There's nothing except through yourself；〃 she said。 〃And I don't want to die and it be gone。
〃You have every mile we drove。 All the yellow country and the white hills and the chaff blowing and the long lines of poplars by the road。 You know what you saw and what you felt and it's yours。 Don't you have le Grau du Roi and Aigues Mortes and all the Camargue that we rode through on our bikes？ This will be the same。〃
〃But what about when I'm dead？〃
〃Then you're dead。〃
〃But I can't stand to be dead。〃
〃Then don't let it happen till it happens。 Look at things and listen and feel。〃
〃What if I can't remember？〃
He had spoken about death as though it did not matter。 She drank the wine and looked at the thick stone walls in which there were only small windows with bars high up that gave onto a narrow street where the sun did not shine。 The doorway； though； gave onto an arcade and the bright sunlight on the worn stones of the square。
〃When you start to live outside yourself；〃 Catherine said； 〃it's all dangerous。 Maybe I'd better go back into our world； your and my world that I made up； we made up I mean。 I was a great success in that world。 It was only four weeks ago。 I think maybe I will be again。〃
The salad came and then there was its greenness on the dark table and the sun on the plaza beyond the arcade。
〃Do you feel better？〃 David asked。
〃Yes；〃 she said。 〃I was thinking so much about myself that I was getting impossible again； like a painter and I was my own picture。 It was awful。 Now that I'm all right again I hope it still lasts。〃
It had rained hard and now the heat was broken。 They were in the cool shutter…slatted dimness of the big room in The Palace and had bathed together in the deep water in the long deep tub and then had turned the plug and let the full force of the water splash and flow over them； swirling as it drained away。 They had blotted each other with the huge towels and then come to the bed。 As they lay on the bed there was a cool breeze that came through the slats of the blinds and moved over them。 Catherine
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lay propped on her elbows with her chin on her hands。 〃Do you think it would be fun if I went back to being a boy again？ It wouldn't be any trouble。〃
〃I like you the way you are now。
〃It's sort of tempting。 But I shouldn't do it in Spain I suppose。 It's such a formal country。〃
〃Stay the way you are。
'What makes your voice be different when you say it？ I think I'll do it。〃
〃No。 Not now。〃
〃Thank you for the not now。 Should I make love this time as a girl and then do it？〃
〃You're a girl。 You are a girl。 You're my lovely girl Catherine。〃
〃Yes I am your girl and I love you and I love you and I love you。
〃Don't talk。〃
〃Yes I will。 I'm your girl Catherine and I love you please I love you always always always&mdash；〃
〃You don't have to keep saying it。 I can tell。〃
〃I like to say it and I have to say it and I've been a fine girl and a good girl and I will again。 I promise I will again。
〃You don't have to say it。
〃Oh yes I do。 I say it and I said it and you said it。 You now please。 Please you。
They lay quiet for a long time and she said； 〃I love you so much and you're such a good husband。〃
〃You blessed。〃 'Was I what you wanted？〃 〃What do you think？〃 〃I hope I was。〃 〃You were。〃
〃I promised truly and I will and I'll keep it。 Now can I be a boy again？〃
〃Why？〃
〃Just for a little while。〃
〃Why？〃
〃I loved it and I don't miss it but I'd like to be again in bed at night if it isn't bad for you。 Can I be again？ If it's not bad for you？〃
〃The hell with if it's bad for me。〃
〃Then can I？〃
〃Do you really want to？〃
He had kept from saying have to so she said； 〃I don't have to but please if it's all right。 Can I please？〃
〃All right。〃 He kissed her and held her to him。
〃Nobody can tell which way I am but us。 I'll only be a boy at night and won't embarrass you。 Don't worry about it please。〃
〃All right； boy。〃
〃I lied when I said I didn't have to。 It came so suddenly today。〃 He shut his eyes and did not think and she kissed him and it had gone further now and he could tell and feel the desperateness。
〃Now you change。 Please。 Don't make me change you。 Must I？ All right I will。 You're changed now。 You are。 You did it too。 You are。 You did it too。 I did it to you but you did it。 Yes you did。 You're my sweet dearest darling Catherine。 You're my sweet my lovely Catherine。 You're my girl my dearest only girl。 Oh thank you thank you my girl