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〃Do you like it？ Feel it how smooth。 Feel it in back；〃 she said。
He felt it in back。
〃Feel on my cheek and feel in front of my ear。 Run your fingers up at the sides。〃
〃You see；〃 she said。 〃That's the surprise。 I'm a girl。 But now I'm a boy too and I can do anything and anything and anything。〃
〃Sit here by me；〃 he said。 〃What do you want； brother。〃
〃Oh thank you；〃 she said。 〃I'll take what you're having。 You see why it's dangerous； don't you？〃
〃Yes。 I see。
〃But wasn't I good to do it？〃
〃Maybe。〃
〃Not maybe。 No。 I thought about it。 I've thought all about it。 Why do we have to go by everyone else's rules？ We're us。
〃We were having a good time and I didn't feel any rules。〃
〃Would you please just put your hand over it again。〃
He did and he kissed her。
〃Oh you're sweet；〃 she said。 〃And you do like it。 I can feel and I can tell。 You don't have to love it。 Just like it at first。〃
〃I like it；〃 he said。 〃And you have such a beautifully shaped head that it is very beautiful with the lovely bones of your face。〃
〃Don't you like it at the sides？〃 she asked。 〃It isn't faked or phony。 It's a true boy's haircut and not from any beauty shop。〃
〃Who cut it？〃
〃The coiffeur at Aigues Mortes。 The one who cut your hair a week ago。 You told him how you wanted yours cut then and I told him to cut mine just the same as yours。 He was very nice and wasn't at all surprised。 He wasn't worried at all。 He said exactly like yours？ And I said exactly。 Doesn't it do anything to you； David？〃
〃Yes；〃 he said。
〃Stupid people will think it is strange。 But we must be proud。 I love to be proud。〃
〃So do I；〃 he said。 〃We'll start being proud now。
They sat there in the cafe and watched the reflection of the setting sun over the water and watched the dusk come to the town and they drank the fine l'eau。 People came by the cafe without being rude to see the girl because they had been the only foreigners in the village and had been there now nearly three weeks and she was a great beauty and they liked her。 Then there had been the big fish today and ordinarily there would have been much talk about that but this other was a big thing in the village too。 No decent girls had ever had their hair cut short like that in this part of the country and even in Paris it was rare and strange and could be beautiful or could be very bad。 It could mean too much or it could only mean showing the beautiful shape of a head that could never be shown as well。
They ate a steak for dinner； rare； with mashed potatoes and flageolets and a salad and the girl asked if they might drink Tavel。 〃It is a great wine for people that are in love；〃 she said。
She had always looked； he thought； exactly her age which was now twenty…one。 He had been very proud of her for that。 But tonight she did not look it。 The lines of her cheekbones showed clear as he had never seen them before and she smiled and her face was heartbreaking。
In the room it was dark with only a little light from outside。 It was cool now with the breeze and the top sheet was gone from the bed。
〃Dave； you don't mind if we've gone to the devil； do you？〃
〃No； girl；〃 he said。
〃Don't call me girl。〃
〃Where I'm holding you you are a girl；〃 he said。 He held her tight around her breasts and he opened and closed his fingers feeling her and the hard erect freshness between his fingers。
〃They're just my dowry；〃 she said。 〃The new is my surprise。 Feel。 No leave them。 They'll be there。 Feel my cheeks and the back of my neck。 Oh it feels so wonderful and good and clean and new。 Please love me David the way I am。 Please under stand and love me。〃
He had shut his eyes and he could feel the long light weight of her on him and her breasts pressing against him and her lips on his。 He lay there and felt something and then her hand holding him and searching lower and he helped with his hands and then lay back in the dark and did not think at all and only felt the weight and the strangeness inside and she said； 〃Now you can't tell who is who can you？〃
〃You are changing；〃 she said。 〃Oh you are。 You are。 Yes you are and you're my girl Catherine。 Will you change and be my girl and let me take you？〃
〃You're Catherine。〃
〃No。 I'm Peter。 You're my wonderful Catherine。 You're my beautiful lovely Catherine。 You were so good to change。 Oh thank you； Catherine； so much。 Please understand。 Please know and understand。 I'm going to make love to you forever。〃
At the end they were both dead and empty but it was not over。 They lay side by side in the dark with their legs touching and her head was on his arm。 The moon had risen and there was a little more light in the room。 She ran her hand exploringly down over his belly without looking and said； 〃You don't think I'm wicked？〃
〃Of course not。 But how long have you thought about that？〃
〃Not all the time。 But quite a lot。 You were so wonderful to let it happen。〃
The young man put his arms around the girl and held her very tight to him and felt her lovely breasts against his chest and kissed her on her dear mouth。 He held her close and hard and inside himself he said goodbye and then goodbye and goodbye。
〃Let's lie very still and quiet and hold each other and not think at all；〃 he said and his heart said goodbye Catherine good bye my lovely girl goodbye and good luck and goodbye。
Chapter Two
HE STOOD UP and looked up and down the beach； corked the bottle of oil and put it in a side pocket of the rucksack and then walked down to the sea feeling the sand grow cool under his feet。 He looked at the girl on her back on the sloping beach； her eyes closed； her arms against her sides； and behind her the slanted square of canvas and the first tufts of beach grass。 She ought not to stay too long in that position with the sun straight up and down on her； he thought。 Then he walked out and dove flat into the clear cold water and turned on his back and swam backstroke out to sea watching the beach beyond the steady beat of his legs and feet。 He turned in the water and swam down to the bottom and touched the coarse sand and felt the heavy ridges of it and then came up to the surface and swam steadily in； seeing how slow he could keep the beat of his crawl。 He walked up to the girl and saw that she was asleep。 He found his wristwatch in the rucksack to check the time when he should wake her。 There was a cold bottle of white wine wrapped in a newspaper and with their towels around it。 He uncorked it without removing the paper or the towels and took a cool draught from the awkward bundle。 Then he sat down to watch the girl and to look out to sea。
This sea was always colder than it looked； he thought。 It did not really warm until the middle of summer except on the shallow beaches。 This beach dropped off quite suddenly and the water had been sharply cold until the swimming warmed him。 He looked out at the sea and the high clouds and noticed how far the fishing fleet was working to the westward。 Then he looked at the girl sleeping on the sand that was quite dry now and beginning to blow delicately with the rising wind when his feet stirred。
During the night he had felt her hands touching him。 And when he woke it was in the moonlight