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on my entrance; I saw that he was in extreme tribulation。 He was
pale and haggard; his face was five years older。 Now; at least; in
all conscience; he had tasted of the cup of life! I was anxious to
know what had turned it so suddenly to bitterness; but I spared him
all importunate curiosity; and let him take his time。 I accepted
tacitly his tacit confession of distress; and we made for a while a
feeble effort to discuss the picturesqueness of Cologne。 At last he
rose and stood a long time looking into the fire; while I slowly
paced the length of the dusky room。
〃Well!〃 he said; as I came back; 〃I wanted knowledge; and I certainly
know something I didn't a month ago。〃 And herewith; calmly and
succinctly enough; as if dismay had worn itself out; he related the
history of the foregoing days。 He touched lightly on details; he
evidently never was to gush as freely again as he had done during the
prosperity of his suit。 He had been accepted one evening; as
explicitly as his imagination could desire; and had gone forth in his
rapture and roamed about till nearly morning in the gardens of the
Conversation…house; taking the stars and the perfumes of the summer
night into his confidence。 〃It is worth it all; almost;〃 he said;
〃to have been wound up for an hour to that celestial pitch。 No man;
I am sure; can ever know it but once。〃 The next morning he had
repaired to Madame Blumenthal's lodging and had been met; to his
amazement; by a naked refusal to see him。 He had strode about for a
couple of hoursin another moodand then had returned to the
charge。 The servant handed him a three…cornered note; it contained
these words: 〃Leave me alone to…day; I will give you ten minutes to…
morrow evening。〃 Of the next thirty…six hours he could give no
coherent account; but at the appointed time Madame Blumenthal had
received him。 Almost before she spoke there had come to him a sense
of the depth of his folly in supposing he knew her。 〃One has heard
all one's days;〃 he said; 〃of people removing the mask; it's one of
the stock phrases of romance。 Well; there she stood with her mask in
her hand。 Her face;〃 he went on gravely; after a pause〃her face
was horrible!〃 。 。 。 〃I give you ten minutes;〃 she had said; pointing
to the clock。 〃Make your scene; tear your hair; brandish your
dagger!〃 And she had sat down and folded her arms。 〃It's not a
joke;〃 she cried; 〃it's dead earnest; let us have it over。 You are
dismissedhave you nothing to say?〃 He had stammered some frantic
demand for an explanation; and she had risen and come near him;
looking at him from head to feet; very pale; and evidently more
excited than she wished him to see。 〃I have done with you!〃 she
said; with a smile; 〃you ought to have done with me! It has all been
delightful; but there are excellent reasons why it should come to an
end。〃 〃You have been playing a part; then;〃 he had gasped out; 〃you
never cared for me?〃 〃Yes; till I knew you; till I saw how far you
would go。 But now the story's finished; we have reached the
denoument。 We will close the book and be good friends。〃 〃To see how
far I would go?〃 he had repeated。 〃You led me on; meaning all the
while to do THIS!〃 〃I led you on; if you will。 I received your
visits; in season and out! Sometimes they were very entertaining;
sometimes they bored me fearfully。 But you were such a very curious
case ofwhat shall I call it?of sincerity; that I determined to
take good and bad together。 I wanted to make you commit yourself
unmistakably。 I should have preferred not to bring you to this
place; but that too was necessary。 Of course I can't marry you; I
can do better。 So can you; for that matter; thank your fate for it。
You have thought wonders of me for a month; but your good…humour
wouldn't last。 I am too old and too wise; you are too young and too
foolish。 It seems to me that I have been very good to you; I have
entertained you to the top of your bent; and; except perhaps that I
am a little brusque just now; you have nothing to complain of。 I
would have let you down more gently if I could have taken another
month to it; but circumstances have forced my hand。 Abuse me; curse
me; if you like。 I will make every allowance!〃 Pickering listened
to all this intently enough to perceive that; as if by some sudden
natural cataclysm; the ground had broken away at his feet; and that
he must recoil。 He turned away in dumb amazement。 〃I don't know how
I seemed to be taking it;〃 he said; 〃but she seemed really to desire…
…I don't know whysomething in the way of reproach and vituperation。
But I couldn't; in that way; have uttered a syllable。 I was
sickened; I wanted to get away into the airto shake her off and
come to my senses。 'Have you nothing; nothing; nothing to say?' she
cried; as if she were disappointed; while I stood with my hand on the
door。 'Haven't I treated you to talk enough?' I believed I answered。
'You will write to me then; when you get home?' 'I think not;' said
I。 'Six months hence; I fancy; you will come and see me!' 'Never!'
said I。 'That's a confession of stupidity;' she answered。 'It means
that; even on reflection; you will never understand the philosophy of
my conduct。' The word 'philosophy' seemed so strange that I verily
believe I smiled。 'I have given you all that you gave me;' she went
on。 'Your passion was an affair of the head。' 'I only wish you had
told me sooner that you considered it so!' I exclaimed。 And I went
my way。 The next day I came down the Rhine。 I sat all day on the
boat; not knowing where I was going; where to get off。 I was in a
kind of ague of terror; it seemed to me I had seen something
infernal。 At last I saw the cathedral towers here looming over the
city。 They seemed to say something to me; and when the boat stopped;
I came ashore。 I have been here a week。 I have not slept at night
and yet it has been a week of rest!〃
It seemed to me that he was in a fair way to recover; and that his
own philosophy; if left to take its time; was adequate to the
occasion。 After his story was once told I referred to his grievance
but oncethat evening; later; as we were about to separate for the
night。 〃Suffer me to say that there was some truth in HER account of
your relations;〃 I said。 〃You were using her intellectually; and all
the while; without your knowing it; she was using you。 It was
diamond cut diamond。 Her needs were the more superficial; and she
got tired of the game first。〃 He frowned and turned uneasily away;
but without contradicting me。 I waited a few moments; to see if he
would remember; before we parted; that he had a claim to make upon
me。 But he seemed to have forgotten it。
The next day we strolled about the picturesque old city; and of
course; before long; went into the cathedral。 Pickering said little;
he seemed intent upon his own thoughts。 He sat down beside a pillar
near a chapel; in front of a gorgeous window; an