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〃How I admire your earnestness！〃 she said。 〃How I like your
anxiety for your friend！ Oh； if women could only form such
friendships！ Oh you happy； happy men！〃 Her voice faltered； and
her convenient tea…cup absorbed her for the third time。 〃 I would
give all the little beauty I possess；〃 she said； 〃if I could only
find such a friend as Mr。 Armadale has found in _you。_ I never
shall； Mr。 MidwinterI never shall。 Let us go back to what we
were talking about。 I can only tell you how your friend is
concerned in my misfortune by telling you something first about
myself。 I am like many other governesses； I am the victim of sad
domestic circumstances。 It may be weak of me； but I have a horror
of alluding to them among strangers。 My silence about my family
and my friends exposes me to misinterpretation in my dependent
position。 Does it do me any harm； Mr。 Midwinter； in your
estimation？〃
〃God forbid！〃 said Midwinter； fervently。 〃There is no man
living；〃 he went on； thinking of his own family story； 〃who has
better reason to understand and respect your silence than I
have。〃
Miss Gwilt seized his hand impulsively。 〃Oh；〃 she said； 〃I knew
it； the first moment I saw you！ I knew that you； too； had
suffered； that you； too； had sorrows which you kept sacred！
Strange； strange sympathy！ I believe in mesmerismdo you？〃 She
suddenly recollected herself； and shuddered。 〃Oh； what have I
done？ What must you think of me？〃 she exclaimed； as he yielded to
the magnetic fascination of her touch； and； forgetting everything
but the hand that lay warm in his own； bent over it and kissed
it。 〃Spare me！〃 she said； faintly； as she felt the burning touch
of his lips。 〃I am so friendlessI am so completely at your
mercy！〃
He turned away from her； and hid his face in his hands； he was
trembling； and she saw it。 She looked at him while his face was
hidden from her； she looked at him with a furtive interest and
surprise。 〃How that man loves me！〃 she thought。 〃I wonder whether
there was a time when I might have loved _him？_〃
The silence between them remained unbroken for some minutes。 He
had felt her appeal to his consideration as she had never
expected or intended him to feel ithe shrank from looking at
her or from speaking to her again。
〃Shall I go on with my story？〃 she asked。 〃Shall we forget and
forgive on both sides？〃 A woman's inveterate indulgence for every
expression of a man's admiration which keeps within the limits of
personal respect curved her lips gently into a charming smile。
She looked down meditatively at her dress； and brushed a crumb
off her lap with a little flattering sigh。 〃I was telling you；〃
she went on； 〃of my reluctance to speak to strangers of my sad
family story。 It was in that way； as I afterward found out； that
I laid myself open to Miss Milroy's malice and Miss Milroy's
suspicion。 Private inquiries about me were addressed to the lady
who was my referenceat Miss Milroy's suggestion； in the first
instance； I have no doubt。 I am sorry to say； this is not the
worst of it。 By some underhand means； of which I am quite
ignorant； Mr。 Armadale's simplicity was imposed on； and； when
application was made secretly to my reference in London； it was
made； Mr。 Midwinter； through your friend。〃
Midwinter suddenly rose from his chair and looked at her。 The
fascination that she exercised over him； powerful as it was；
became a suspended influence； now that the plain disclosure came
plainly at last from her lips。 He looked at her； and sat down
again； like a man bewildered； without uttering a word。
〃Remember how weak he is；〃 pleaded Miss Gwilt； gently； 〃and make
allowances for him as I do。 The trifling accident of his failing
to find my reference at the address given him seems； I can't
imagine why； to have excited Mr。 Armadale's suspicion。 At any
rate； he remained in London。 What he did there； it is impossible
for me to say。 I was quite in the dark； I knew nothing： I
distrusted nobody； I was as happy in my little round of duties as
I could be with a pupil whose affections I had failed to win；
when； one morning； to my indescribable astonishment； Major Milroy
showed me a correspondence between Mr。 Armadale and himself。 He
spoke to me in his wife's presence。 Poor
creature； I make no complaint of her； such affliction as she
suffers excuses everything。 I wish I could give you some idea of
the letters between Major Milroy and Mr。 Armadale； but my head is
only a woman's head； and I was so confused and distressed at the
time！ All I can tell you is that Mr。 Armadale chose to preserve
silence about his proceedings in London； under circumstances
which made that silence a reflection on my character。 The major
was most kind； his confidence in me remained unshaken； but could
his confidence protect me against his wife's prejudice and his
daughter's ill…will？ Oh； the hardness of women to each other！ Oh；
the humiliation if men only knew some of us as we really are！
What could I do？ I couldn't defend myself against mere
imputations； and I couldn't remain in my situation after a slur
had been cast on me。 My pride （Heaven help me； I was brought up
like a gentlewoman； and I have sensibilities that are not blunted
even yet！）my pride got the better of me； and I left my place。
Don't let it distress you； Mr。 Midwinter！ There's a bright side
to the picture。 The ladies in the neighborhood have overwhelmed
me with kindness； I have the prospect of getting pupils to teach；
I am spared the mortification of going back to be a burden on my
friends。 The only complaint I have to make is； I think； a just
one。 Mr。 Armadale has been back at Thorpe Ambrose for some days。
I have entreated him； by letter； to grant me an interview； to
tell me what dreadful suspicions he has of me； and to let me set
myself right in his estimation。 Would you believe it？ He has
declined to see meunder the influence of others； not of his own
free will； I am sure！ Cruel； isn't it？ But he has even used me
more cruelly still； he persists in suspecting me； it is he who is
having me watched。 Oh； Mr。 Midwinter； don't hate me for telling
you what you _must_ know！ The man you found persecuting me and
frightening me tonight was only earning his money； after all； as
Mr。 Armadale's spy。〃
Once more Midwinter started to his feet； and this time the
thoughts that were in him found their way into words。
〃I can't believe it； I won't believe it！〃 he exclaimed；
indignantly。 〃If the man told you that； the man lied。 I beg your
pardon； Miss Gwilt； I beg your pardon from the bottom of my
heart。 Don't； pray don't think I doubt _you；_ I only say there is
some dreadful mistake。 I am not sure that I understand as I ought
all that you have told me。 But this last infamous meanness of
which you think Allan guilty； I _do_ understand。 I swear to you；
he is incapable of it！ Some scoundrel has been taking advantage
of him； some scoundrel has been using his name。 I'll prove it to
you； if you will only give me time。 Let me go and clear it up at
once。 I can't rest； I can't bear to think of it； I can't even
enjoy the pleasure of being here。 Oh；〃 he burst out desperately；
〃I'm sure you feel for me； after what you have saidI feel so