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appeared。 It was late in the afternoon； and I was beginning to
feel offended； when a letter was brought to me。 It had been left
by a strange messenger who went away again immediately。 I looked
at the letter。 Midwinter at lastin writing； instead of in
person。 I began to feel more offended than ever； for； as I told
you； I thought I had used my influence over him to better
purpose。
〃The letter； when I read it； set my mind off in a new direction。
It surprised； it puzzled； it interested me。 I thought； and
thought； and thought of him； all the rest of the day。
〃He began by asking my pardon for having doubted what I told him。
Mr。 Armadale's own lips had confirmed me。 They had quarreled （as
I had anticipated they would）； and he； and the man who had once
been his dearest friend on earth； had parted forever。 So far； I
was not surprised。 I was amused by his telling me in his
extravagant way that he and his friend were parted forever； and I
rather wondered what he would think when I carried out my plan；
and found my way into the great house on pretense of reconciling
them。
〃But the second part of the letter set me thinking。 Here it is；
in his own words。
〃 'It is only by struggling against myself （and no language can
say how hard the struggle has been） that I have decided on
writing； instead of speaking to you。 A merciless necessity claims
my future life。 I must leave Thorpe Ambrose； I must leave
England； without hesitating； without stopping to look back。 There
are reasonsterrible reasons； which I have madly trifled
withfor my never letting Mr。 Armadale set eyes on me； or hear
of me again； after what has happened between us。 I must go； never
more to live under the same roof； never more to breathe the same
air with that man。 I must hide myself from him under an assumed
name； I must put the mountains and the seas between us。 I have
been warned as no human creature was ever warned before。 I
believeI dare not tell you whyI believe that； if the
fascination you have for me draws me back to you； fatal
consequences will come of it to the man whose life has been so
strangely mingled with your life and minethe man who was once
_your_ admirer and _my_ friend。 And yet； feeling this； seeing it
in my mind as plainly as I see the sky above my head； there is a
weakness in me that still shrinks from the one imperative
sacrifice of never seeing you again。 I am fighting with it as a
man fights with the strength of his despair。 I have been near
enough； not an hour since； to see the house where you live； and
have forced myself away again out of sight of it。 Can I force
myself away further still； now that my letter is writtennow；
when the useless confession escapes me； and I own to loving you
with the first love I have ever known； with the last love I shall
ever feel？ Let the coming time answer the question； I dare not
write of it or think of it more。'
〃Those were the last words。 In that strange way the letter ended。
〃I felt a perfect fever of curiosity to know what he meant。 His
loving me； of course； was easy enough to understand。 But what did
he mean by saying he had been warned？ Why was he never to live
under the same roof； never to breathe the same air again； with
young Armadale？ What sort of quarrel could it be which obliged
one man to hide himself from another under an assumed name； and
to put the mountains and the seas between them？ Above all； if he
came back； and let me fascinate him； why should it be fatal to
the hateful lout who possesses the noble fortune and lives in the
great house？
〃I never longed in my life as I longed to see him again and put
these questions to him。 I got quite superstitious about it as the
day drew on。 They gave me a sweet…bread and a cherry pudding for
dinner。 I actually tried if he would come back by the stones in
the plate！ He will； he won't； he will； he won'tand so on。 It
ended in 'He won't。' I rang the bell； and had the things taken
away。 I contradicted Destiny quite fiercely。 I said； 'He will！'
and I waited at home for him。
〃You don't know what a pleasure it is to me to give you all these
little particulars。 Count upmy bosom friend； my second
mothercount up the money you have advanced on the chance of my
becoming Mrs。 Armadale； and then think of my feeling this
breathless interest in another man。 Oh； Mrs。 Oldershaw； how
intensely I enjoy the luxury of irritating you！
〃The day got on toward evening。 I rang again； and sent down to
borrow a railway time…table。 What trains were there to take him
away on Sunday？ The national respect for the Sabbath stood my
friend。 There was only one train； which had started hours before
he wrote to me。 I went and consulted my glass。 It paid me the
compliment of contradicting the divination by cherry…stones。 My
glass said： 'Get behind the window…curtain； he won't pass the
long lonely evening without coming back again to look at the
house。' I got behind the window…curtain； and waited with his
letter in my hand。
〃The dismal Sunday light faded； and the dismal Sunday quietness
in the street grew quieter still。 The dusk came； and I heard a
step coming with it in the silence。 My heart gave a little
jumponly think of my having any heart left！ I said to myself：
'Midwinter！' And Midwinter it was。
〃When he came in sight he was walking slowly； stopping and
hesitating at every two or three steps。 My ugly little
drawing…room window seemed to be beckoning him on in spite of
himself。 After waiting till I saw him come to a standstill； a
little aside from the house； but still within view of my
irresistible window； I put on my things and slipped out by the
back way into the garden。 The landlord and his family were at
supper； and nobody saw me。 I opened the door in the wall； and got
round by the lane into the street。 At that awkward moment I
suddenly remembered； what I had forgotten before； the spy set to
watch me； who was； no doubt； waiting somewhere in sight of the
house。
〃It was necessary to get time to think； and it was （in my state
of mind） impossible to let Midwinter go without speaking to him。
In great difficulties you generally decide at once； if you decide
at all。 I decided to make an appointment with him for the next
evening； and to consider in the interval how to manage the
interview so that it might escape observation。 This； as I felt at
the time； was leaving my own curiosity free to torment me for
four…and…twenty mortal hours； but what other choice had I？ It was
as good as giving u p being mistress of Thorpe Ambrose
altogether； to come to a private understanding with Midwinter in
the sight and possibly in the hearing of Armadale's spy。
〃Finding an old letter of yours in my pocket； I drew back into
the lane； and wrote on the blank leaf； with the little pencil
that hangs at my watch…chain： 'I must and will speak to you。 It
is impossible tonight； but be in the street tomorrow at this
time； and leave me afterward forever； if you like。 When you have
read this； overtake me； and say as you pass； without stopping or
looking round； 〃Yes； I promise。〃 '
〃I folded up the paper； and came on him suddenly from behind。 As
he started and turned round； I put the note into