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doctor's boat。 Let's talk about the future。 Have you been taking
a practical view？ as dear old Brock calls it。 Have you been
considering the next serious question that concerns us both when
we get back to the hotelthe question of breakfast？〃
After an instant's hesitation； Midwinter took a step nearer。 〃I
have been thinking of your future and mine；〃 he said； 〃I have
been thinking of the time when your way in life and my way in
life will be two ways instead of one。〃
〃Here's the daybreak！〃 cried Allan。 〃Look up at the masts；
they're beginning to get clear again already。 I beg your pardon。
What were you saying？〃
Midwinter made no reply。 The struggle between the hereditary
superstition that was driving him on； and the unconquerable
affection for Allan that was holding him back； suspended the next
words on his lips。 He turned aside his face in speechless
suffering。 〃Oh； my father！〃 he thought； 〃better have killed me on
that day when I lay on your bosom； than have let me live for
this。〃
〃What's that about the future？〃 persisted Allan。 〃I was looking
for the daylight； I didn't hear。〃
Midwinter controlled himself； and answered： 〃You have treated me
with your usual kin dness；〃 he said； 〃in planning to take me with
you to Thorpe Ambrose。 I think； on reflection； I had better not
intrude myself where I am not known and not expected。〃 His voice
faltered； and he stopped again。 The more he shrank from it； the
clearer the picture of the happy life that he was resigning rose
on his mind。
Allan's thoughts instantly reverted to the mystification about
the new steward which he had practiced on his friend when they
were consulting together in the cabin of the yacht。 〃Has he been
turning it over in his mind？〃 wondered Allan； 〃and is he
beginning at last to suspect the truth？ I'll try him。Talk as
much nonsense； my dear fellow； as you like；〃 he rejoined； 〃but
don't forget that you are engaged to see me established at Thorpe
Ambrose； and to give me your opinion of the new steward。〃
Midwinter suddenly stepped forward again； close to Allan。
〃I am not talking about your steward or your estate；〃 he burst
out passionately； 〃I am talking about myself。 Do you hear？
Myself！ I am not a fit companion for you。 You don't know who I
am。〃 He drew back into the shadowy shelter of the bulwark as
suddenly as he had come out from it。 〃O God！ I can't tell him；〃
he said to himself； in a whisper。
For a moment； and for a moment only； Allan was surprised。 〃Not
know who you are？〃 Even as he repeated the words； his easy
goodhumor got the upper…hand again。 He took up the whisky flask；
and shook it significantly。 〃I say；〃 he resumed； 〃how much of the
doctor's medicine did you take while I was up in the mizzen…top？〃
The light tone which he persisted in adopting stung Midwinter to
the last pitch of exasperation。 He came out again into the light；
and stamped his foot angrily on the deck。 〃Listen to me！〃 he
said。 〃You don't know half the low things I have done in my
lifetime。 I have been a tradesman's drudge； I have swept out the
shop and put up the shutters； I have carried parcels through the
street； and waited for my master's money at his customers'
doors。〃
〃I have never done anything half as useful；〃 returned Allan；
composedly。 〃Dear old boy； what an industrious fellow you have
been in your time！〃
〃I've been a vagabond and a blackguard in my time；〃 returned the
other； fiercely； 〃I've been a street tumbler； a tramp； a gypsy's
boy！ I've sung for half…pence with dancing dogs on the high…road！
I've worn a foot…boy's livery； and waited at table！ I've been a
common sailors' cook； and a starving fisherman's
Jack…of…all…trades！ What has a gentleman in your position in
common with a man in mine？ Can you take _me_ into the society at
Thorpe Ambrose？ Why； my very name would be a reproach to you。
Fancy the faces of your new neighbors when their footmen announce
Ozias Midwinter and Allan Armadale in the same breath！〃 He burst
into a harsh laugh； and repeated the two names again； with a
scornful bitterness of emphasis which insisted pitilessly on the
marked contrast between them。
Something in the sound of his laughter jarred painfully even on
Allan's easy nature。 He raised himself on the deck and spoke
seriously for the first time。 〃A joke's a joke； Midwinter；〃 he
said； 〃as long as you don't carry it too far。 I remember your
saying something of the same sort to me once before when I was
nursing you in Somersetshire。 You forced me to ask you if I
deserved to be kept at arms…length by _you_ of all the people in
the world。 Don't force me to say so again。 Make as much fun of me
as you please； old fellow； in any other way。 _That_ way hurts
me。〃
Simple as the words were； and simply as they had been spoken；
they appeared to work an instant revolution in Midwinter's mind。
His impressible nature recoiled as from some sudden shock。
Without a word of reply； he walked away by himself to the forward
part of the ship。 He sat down on some piled planks between the
masts； and passed his hand over his head in a vacant； bewildered
way。 Though his father's belief in fatality was his own belief
once morethough there was no longer the shadow of a doubt in
his mind that the woman whom Mr。 Brock had met in Somersetshire；
and the woman who had tried to destroy herself in London； were
one and the samethough all the horror that mastered him when he
first read the letter from Wildbad had now mastered him again；
Allan's appeal to their past experience of each other had come
home to his heart； with a force more irresistible than the force
of his superstition itself。 In the strength of that very
superstition； he now sought the pretext which might encourage him
to sacrifice every less generous feeling to the one predominant
dread of wounding the sympathies of his friend。 〃Why distress
him？〃 he whispered to himself。 〃We are not the end here： there is
the Woman behind us in the dark。 Why resist him when the
mischief's done ； and the caution comes too late？ What _ is_ to
be _will_ be。 What have I to do with the future？ and what has
he？〃
He went back to Allan； sat down by his side； and took his hand。
〃Forgive me；〃 he said； gently； 〃I have hurt you for the last
time。〃 Before it was possible to reply； he snatched up the whisky
flask from the deck。 〃Come！〃 he exclaimed； with a sudden effort
to match his friend's cheerfulness； 〃you have been trying the
doctor's medicine； why shouldn't I？〃
Allan was delighted。 〃This is something like a change for the
better；〃 he said； 〃Midwinter is himself again。 Hark！ there are
the birds。 Hail； smiling morn！ smiling morn！〃 He sang the words
of the glee in his old； cheerful voice； and clapped Midwinter on
the shoulder in his old； hearty way。 〃How did you manage to clear
your head of those confounded megrims？ Do you know you were quite
alarming about something happening to one or other of us before
we were out of this ship？〃
〃Sheer nonsense！〃 returned Midwinter； contemptuously。 〃I don't
think my head has ever been quite right since that fever； I've
got a bee in my bonnet； as they say in the North。 Let's talk of
something else。 About those people you hav