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'Gustus Junior。' A small joke goes a long way among friends；
doesn't it； Mr。 Armadale？ I sing a little to my own
accompaniment； ladies and gentlemen； and； if quite agreeable； I
shall be proud and happy to do my best。〃
〃Stop！〃 cried Mrs。 Pentecost； 〃I dote on music。〃
With this formidable announcement； the old lady opened a
prodigious leather bag； from
which she never parted night or day； and took out an ear…trumpet
of the old…fashioned kindsomething between a key…bugle and a
French horn。 〃I don't care to use the thing generally；〃 explained
Mrs。 Pentecost； 〃because I'm afraid of its making me deafer than
ever。 But I can't and won't miss the music。 I dote on music。 If
you'll hold the other end； Sammy； I'll stick it in my ear。
Neelie； my dear； tell him to begin。〃
Young Pedgift was troubled with no nervous hesitation。 He began
at once； not with songs of the light and modern kind； such as
might have been expected from an amateur of his age and
character； but with declamatory and patriotic bursts of poetry；
set to the bold and blatant music which the people of England
loved dearly at the earlier part of the present century； and
which； whenever they can get it； they love dearly still。 〃The
Death of Marmion；〃 〃The Battle of the Baltic；〃 〃The Bay of
Biscay；〃 〃Nelson；〃 under various vocal aspects； as exhibited by
the late Brahamthese were the songs in which the roaring
concertina and strident tenor of Gustus Junior exulted together。
〃Tell me when you're tired； ladies and gentlemen；〃 said the
minstrel solicitor。 〃There's no conceit about _me。_ Will you have
a little sentiment by way of variety？ Shall I wind up with 'The
Mistletoe Bough' and 'Poor Mary Anne'？〃
Having favored his audience with those two cheerful melodies；
young Pedgift respectfully requested the rest of the company to
follow his vocal example in turn； offering； in every case； to
play 〃a running accompaniment〃 impromptu； if the singer would
only be so obliging as to favor him with the key…note。
〃Go on； somebody！〃 cried Mrs。 Pentecost； eagerly。 〃I tell you
again； I dote on music。 We haven't had half enough yet； have we；
Sammy？〃
The Reverend Samuel made no reply。 The unhappy man had reasons of
his ownnot exactly in his bosom； but a little lowerfor
remaining silent； in the midst of the general hilarity and the
general applause。 Alas for humanity！ Even maternal love is
alloyed with mortal fallibility。 Owing much already to his
excellent mother； the Reverend Samuel was now additionally
indebted to her for a smart indigestion。
Nobody； however； noticed as yet the signs and tokens of internal
revolution in the curate's face。 Everybody was occupied in
entreating everybody else to sing。 Miss Milroy appealed to the
founder of the feast。 〃Do sing something； Mr。 Armadale；〃 she
said； 〃I should so like to hear you！〃
〃If you once begin； sir；〃 added the cheerful Pedgift； 〃you'll
find it get uncommonly easy as you go on。 Music is a science
which requires to be taken by the throat at starting。〃
〃With all my heart；〃 said Allan； in his good…humored way。 〃I know
lots of tunes； but the worst of it is； the words escape me。 I
wonder if I can remember one of Moore's Melodies？ My poor mother
used to be fond of teaching me Moore's Melodies when I was a
boy。〃
〃Whose melodies？〃 asked Mrs。 Pentecost。 〃Moore's？ Aha！ I know Tom
Moore heart。〃
〃Perhaps in that case you will he good enough to help me； ma'am；
if my memory breaks down；〃 rejoined Allan。 〃I'll take the easiest
melody in the whole collection； if you'll allow me。 Everybody
knows it'Eveleen's Bower。' 〃
〃I'm familiar； in a general sort of way； with the national
melodies of England； Scotland； and Ireland；〃 said Pedgift Junior。
〃I'll accompany you； sir； with the greatest pleasure。 This is the
sort of thing； I think。〃 He seated himself cross…legged on the
roof of the cabin； and burst into a complicated musical
improvisation wonderful to heara mixture of instrumental
flourishes and groans； a jig corrected by a dirge； and a dirge
enlivened by a jig。 〃That's the sort of thing；〃 said young
Pedgift； with his smile of supreme confidence。 〃Fire away； sir！〃
Mrs。 Pentecost elevated her trumpet； and Allan elevated his
voice。 〃Oh； weep for the hour when to Eveleen's Bower〃 He
stopped； the accompaniment stopped； the audience waited。 〃It's a
most extraordinary thing；〃 said Allan； 〃I thought I had the next
line on the tip of my tongue； and it seems to have escaped me。
I'll begin again； if you have no objection。 'Oh； weep for the
hour when to Eveleen's Bower' 〃
〃 'The lord of the valley with false vows came；' 〃 said Mrs。
Pentecost。
〃Thank you； ma'am；〃 said Allan。 〃Now I shall get on smoothly。
'Oh； weep for the hour when to Eveleen's Bower； the lord of the
valley with false vows came。 The moon was shining bright' 〃
〃No！〃 said Mrs。 Pentecost。
〃I beg your pardon； ma'am；〃 remonstrated Allan。 〃 'The moon was。
shining bright' 〃
〃The moon wasn't doing anything of the kind；〃 said Mrs。
Pentecost。
Pedgift Junior； foreseeing a dispute； persevered _sotto voce_
with the accompaniment； in the interests of harmony。
〃Moore's own words； ma'am；〃 said Allan； 〃in my mother's copy of
the Melodies。〃
〃Your mother's copy was wrong；〃 retorted Mrs。 Pentecost。 〃Didn't
I tell you just now that I knew Tom Moore by heart？〃
Pedgift Junior's peace…making concertina still flourished and
groaned in the minor key。
〃Well； what _did_ the moon do？〃 asked Allan； in despair。
〃What the moon _ought_ to have done； sir； or Tom Moore wouldn't
have written it so；〃 rejoined Mrs。 Pentecost。 〃 'The moon hid her
light from the heaven that night； and wept behind her clouds o'er
the maiden's shame！' I wish that young man would leave off
playing；〃 added Mrs。 Pentecost； venting her rising irritation on
Gustus Junior。 〃I've had enough of himhe tickles my ears。〃
〃Proud； I'm sure； ma'am；〃 said the unblushing Pedgift。 〃The whole
science of music consists in tickling the ears。〃
〃We seem to be drifting into a sort of argument；〃 remarked Major
Milroy； placidly。 〃Wouldn't it be better if Mr。 Armadale went on
with his song？〃
〃Do go on； Mr。 Armadale！〃 added the major's daughter。 〃Do go on；
Mr。 Pedgift！〃
〃One of them doesn't know the words； and the other doesn't know
the music；〃 said Mrs。 Pentecost。 〃Let them go on if they can！〃
〃Sorry to disappoint you； ma'am；〃 said Pedgift Junior； 〃I'm ready
to go on myself to any extent。 Now； Mr。 Armadale！〃
Allan opened his lips to take up the unfinished melody where he
had last left it。 Before he could utter a note； the curate
suddenly rose； with a ghastly face； and a hand pressed
convulsively over the middle region of his waistcoat。
〃What's the matter？〃 cried the whole boating party in chorus。
〃I am exceedingly unwell；〃 said the Reverend Samuel Pentecost。
The boat was instantly in a state of confusion。 〃Eveleen's Bower〃
expired on Allan's lips； and even the irrepressible concertina of
Pedgift was silenced at last。 The alarm proved to be quite
needless。 Mrs。 Pentecost's son possessed a mother； and that
mother had a bag。 In two seconds the art of medicine occupied the
place left vacant in the attention of the com