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had so wildly urged her； and had broken entirely with Harvey？ Would she
have married Henri？
There was a certain element of caution in the girl。 It made the chances
she had taken rather more courageous； indeed； because she had always
counted the cost。 But marriage was not a matter for taking chances。 One
should know not only the man； but his setting； though she would not have
thought of it in that way。 Not only the man； but the things that made up his
life … his people； his home。
And Henri was to her still a figure； not so much now of mystery as of
detachment。 Except Jean he had no intimates。 He had no family on the
only side of the line she knew。 He had not even a country。
She had reached that point when Henri came below and saluted her
stiffly from the doorway。
〃Henri！〃 she said。 〃I believe you are ill！〃
I am not ill；〃 he said； and threw himself into the corner of the seat。
〃You have read it？〃
She nodded。 Even thinking of it brought a lump into her throat。 He
bent forward； but he did not touch her。
〃I meant it； Saralie；〃 he said。 〃Sometimes men are infatuated； and
write what they do not mean。 They are sincere at the time； and then later
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on … But I meant it。 I shall always mean it。〃
Not then； nor during the three days in London； did he so much as take
her hand。 He was not well。 He ate nothing； and at night he lay awake and
drank a great deal of water。 Once or twice he found her looking at him
anxiously； but he disclaimed all illness。
He had known from the beginning what he was doing。 But he did not
touch her； because in his heart he knew that where once he had been
worthy he was no longer worthy。 He had left his work for a woman。
It is true that he had expected to go back at once。 But the Philadelphia；
which had been listed to sail the next day； was held up by a strike in
Liverpool； and he waited on； taking such hours as she could give him；
feverishly anxious to make her happy； buying her little gifts mostly
flowers； which she wore tucked in her belt and smiled over； because she
had never before received flowers from a man。
He was alternately gay and silent。 They walked across the Thames by
the Parliament buildings； and midway across he stopped and looked long
at the stream。 And they went to the Zoological Gardens； where he gravely
named one of the sea lions for Colonel Lilias because of its mustache； and
insisted on saluting it each time before he flung it a fish。 Once he soberly
gathered up a very new baby camel； all legs； in his arms； and presented it
to her。
〃Please accept it； mademoiselle；〃 he said。 〃With my compliments。〃
They dined together every night； very modestly； sitting in some
crowded restaurant perhaps； but seeing little but each other。 Sara Lee had
bought a new hat in London … black； of course； but faced with white。 He
adored her in it。 He would sit for long moments； his elbows propped on
the table； his blond hair gleaming in the candlelight； and watch her。
〃I wonder；〃 he said once； 〃if you had never met him would you have
loved me？〃
〃I do love you； Henri。〃
〃I don't want that sort of love。〃 And he had turned his head away。
But one evening he called for her at Morley's； a white and crushed boy；
needing all that she could give him and much more。 He came as a man
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goes to the woman he loves when he is in trouble； much as a child to his
mother。 Sara Lee； coming down to the reception room； found him alone
there； walking rapidly up and down。 He turned desperate eyes on her。
〃I have brought bad news；〃 he said abruptly。
〃The little house …〃
〃I do not know。 I ran away； mademoiselle。 I am a traitor。 And the
Germans broke through last night。〃
〃Henri！〃
〃They broke through We were not ready。 That is what I have done。〃
〃Don't you think；〃 Sara Lee said in a frozen voice； 〃that is what I have
done？ I let you come。〃
〃You？ You are taking the blame？ Mademoiselle； I have enough to bear
without that。〃
He explained further； still standing in his rigid attitude。 If he had been
white before at times he was ghastly now。 It had not been an attack in
force。 A small number had got across and had penetrated beyond the
railway line。 There had been hand…to…hand fighting in the road beyond the
poplars。 But it looked more like an experiment； an endeavor to discover
the possibility of a real advance through the inundation； or perhaps a feint
to cover operations elsewhere。
〃For every life lost I am responsible；〃 he ended in a flat and lifeless
tone。
〃But you might not have known；〃 she protested wildly。 〃Even if you
had been there； Henri； you might not have known。〃 She knew something
of war by that time。 〃How could you have told that a small movement of
troops was to take place？〃
〃I should have been there。〃
〃But … if they came without warning？〃
〃I did not tell you；〃 he said； looking away from her。 〃There had been a
warning。 I disregarded it。〃
He went back to Belgium that night。 Sara Lee； at the last； held out her
hand。 She was terrified for him； and she showed it。
〃I shall not touch your hand；〃 he said。 〃I have forfeited my right to do
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that。〃 Then； seeing what was in her face； he reassured her。 〃I shall not do
that；〃 he said。 〃It would be easier。 But I shall have to go back and see what
can be done。〃
He was the old Henri to the last； however。 He went carefully over her
steamship ticket； and inquired with equal care into the amount of money
she had。
〃It will take you home？〃 he asked。
〃Very comfortably； Henri。〃
〃It seems very little。〃
Then he said； apropos of nothing： 〃Poor Jean！〃
When he left her at last he went to the door； very erect and soldierly。
But he turned there and stood for a moment looking at her； as though
through all that was coming he must have with him； to give him strength；
that final picture of her。
The elderly chambermaid； coming into Sara Lee's room the next
morning； found her fully dressed in the frock she had worn the night
before； face down on her bed。
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