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the conflict-第61章

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Jane smiled cruelly。  ‘‘What hypocrisy!'' she said; and turned and walked away。



VIII

In America we have been bringing up our women like men; and treating them like children。  They have active minds with nothing to act upon。  Thus they are driven to think chiefly about themselves。  With Jane Hastings; self…centering took the form of self…analysis most of the time。  She was intensely interested in what she regarded as the new development of her character。  This definite and apparently final decision for the narrow and the ungenerous。  In fact; it was no new development; but simply a revelation to herself of her own real character。  She was seeing at last the genuine Jane Hastings; inevitable product of a certain heredity in a certain environment。  The high thinking and talking; the idealistic aspiration were pose and pretense。  Jane Hastings was a selfish; self…absorbed person; ready to do almost any base thing to gain her ends; ready to hate to the uttermost any one who stood between her and her object。

‘‘I'm certainly not a lovely personnot a lovable person;'' thought she; with that gentle tolerance wherewith we regard our ownselves; whether in the dress of pretense or in the undress of deformed humanness。  ‘‘StillI am what I am; and I've got to make the best of it。''

As she thought of Selma's declaration of war she became less and less disturbed about it。  Selma neither would nor could do anything sly。  Whatever she attempted in the open would only turn Victor Dorn more strongly toward herself。  However; she must continue to try to see him; must go to see him in a few days if she did not happen upon him in her rides or walks。  How poorly he would think of her if he knew the truth about her!  But then; how poor most womenand men; toowould look in a strong and just light。  Few indeed could stand idealizing; except Victor; no one she knew。  And he was human enough not to make her uncomfortable in his presence。

But it so happened that before she could see Victor Dorn her father disobeyed Dr。 Charlton and gave way to the appetite that was the chief cause of his physical woes。  He felt so well that he ate the family dinner; including a peach cobbler with whipped cream; which even the robust Jane adventured warily。  Martha was dining with them。  She abetted her father。  ‘‘It's light;'' said she。  ‘‘It couldn't harm anybody。''

‘‘You mustn't touch it; popsy;'' said Jane。

She unthinkingly spoke a little too commandingly。  Her father; in a perverse and reckless mood; took Martha's advice。  An hour later Dr。 Charlton was summoned; and had he not arrived promptly

‘‘Another fifteen or twenty minutes;'' said he to the old man when he had him out of immediate danger; ‘‘and I'd have had nothing to do but sign a certificate of natural death。''

‘‘Murder would have been nearer the truth;'' said Martin feebly。  ‘‘That there fool Martha!''

‘‘Come out from behind that petticoat!'' cried Charlton。  ‘‘Didn't I spend the best part of three days in giving you the correct ideas as to health and disease in showing you that ALL disease comes from indigestion ALL disease; from falling hair and sore eyes to weak ankles and corns?  And didn't I convince you that you could eat only the things I told you about?''

‘‘Don't hit a man when he's down;'' groaned Hastings。

‘‘If I don't; you'll do the same idiotic trick again when I get you upif I get you up。''

Hastings looked quickly at him。  This was the first time Charlton had ever expressed a doubt about his living。  ‘‘Do you mean that?'' he said hoarsely。  ‘‘Or are you just trying to scare me?''

‘‘Both;'' said Charlton。  ‘‘I'll do my best; but I can't promise。

I've lost confidence in you。  No wonder doctors; after they've been in practice a few years; stop talking food and digestion to their patients。  I've never been able to convince a single human being that appetite is not the sign of health; and yielding to it the way to health。  But I've made lots of people angry and have lost their trade。  I had hopes of you。  You were such a hopeless wreck。  But no。  And you call yourself an intelligent man!''

‘‘I'll never do it again;'' said Hastings; pleading; but smiling; tooCharlton's way of talking delighted him。

‘‘You think this is a joke;'' said Charlton; shaking his bullet head。  ‘‘Have you any affairs to settle?  If you have; send for your lawyer in the morning。''

Fearthe Great Fearsuddenly laid its icy long fingers upon the throat of the old man。  He gasped and his eyes rolled。  ‘‘Don't trifle with me; Charlton;'' he muttered。  ‘‘You know you will pull me through。''

‘‘I'll do my best;'' said Charlton。  ‘‘I promise nothing。  I'm serious about the lawyer。''

‘‘I don't want no lawyer hanging round my bed;'' growled the old man。  ‘‘It'd kill me。  I've got nothing to settle。  I don't run things with loose ends。  And there's Jinny and Marthy and the boyshare and share alike。''

‘‘Wellyou're in no immediate danger。  I'll come early to…morrow。''

‘‘Wait till I get to sleep。''

‘‘You'll be asleep as soon as the light's down。  But I'll stop a few minutes and talk to your daughter。''

Charlton found Jane at the window in the dressing room next her father's bedroom。  He said loudly enough for the old man to overhear:

‘‘Your father's all right for the present; so you needn't worry。  Come downstairs with me。  He's to go to sleep now。''

Jane went in and kissed the bulging bony forehead。  ‘‘Good night; popsy。''

‘‘Good night; Jinny dear;'' he said in a softer voice than she had ever heard from him。  ‘‘I'm feeling very comfortable now; and sleepy。  If anything should happen; don't forget what I said about not temptin' your brother by trustin' him too fur。  Look after your own affairs。  Take Mr。 Haswell's advice。  He's stupid; but he's honest and careful and safe。  You might talk to Dr。 Charlton about things; too。  He's straight; and knows what's what。  He's one of them people that gives everybody good advice but themselves。  If anything should happen''

‘‘But nothing's going to happen; popsy。''

‘‘It might。  I don't seem to care as much as I did。  I'm so tarnation tired。  I reckon the goin' ain't as bad as I always calculated。  I didn't know how tired they felt and anxious to rest。''

‘‘I'll turn down the light。  The nurse is right in there。''

‘‘Yesturn the light。  If anything should happen; there's an envelope in the top drawer in my desk for Dr。 Charlton。  But don't tell him till I'm gone。  I don't trust nobody; and if he knowed there was something waiting; why; there's no telling''

The old man had drowsed off。  Jane lowered the light and went down to join Charlton on the front veranda; where he was smoking a cigarette。  She said:

‘‘He's asleep。''

‘‘He's all right for the next few days;'' said Charlton。  ‘‘After thatI don't know。  I'm very doubtful。''

Jane was depressed; but not so depressed as she would have been had not her father so long looked like death and so often been near dying。

‘‘Stay at home until I see how this is going to turn out。  Telephone your sister to be within easy call。  But don't let her come here。  She's not fit to be about an ill person。  The sight of her pulling a long; sad face might carry him off in a 
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