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like you； smiling； perfumed； kindly egoists。 I am weary of all I know； and
I am； therefore； going to seek the unknown。 I have experienced joy that
was not joy； and here is a man who teaches me that sorrow is true joy。 I
believe him； for he knows the truth。〃
〃And I； sweetheart；〃 replied Nicias； smiling； 〃I know the truths。 He
knows but one； I know them all。 I am superior to him in that respect； but to
tell the truth； it doesn't make me any the prouder nor any the happier。〃
Then； seeing that the monk was glaring fiercely at him
〃My dear Paphnutius； do not imagine that I think you extremely
absurd； or even altogether unreasonable。 And if I were to compare your
life with mine； I could not say which is preferable in itself。 I shall
presently go and take the bath which Crobyle and Myrtale have prepared
for me； I shall eat the wing of a Phasian pheasant； then I shall read for
the hundredth timesome fable by Apuleius or some treatise by Porphyry。
You will return to your cell； where； leaning like a tame camel； you will
ruminate onI know not whatformulas of incarnations you have long
chewed and rechewed； and in the evening you will swallow some radishes
without any oil。 Well； my dear friend； in accomplishing these acts； so
different apparently； we are both obeying the same sentiment； the only
motive for all human actions； we are both seeking our own pleasure； and
striving to attain the same endhappiness； the impossible happiness。 It
would be folly on my part to say you were wrong； dear friend； even
though I think myself in the right。
〃And you； my Thais； go and enjoy yourself； and be more happy still； if
it be possible； in abstinence and austerity than you have been in riches and
pleasure。 On the whole； I should say you were to be envied。 For if in our
whole lives； Paphnutius and I have pursued but one kind of pleasurable
satisfaction； you in your life； dear Thais； have tasted diverse joys such as it
is rarely given to the same person to know。 I should really like to be for
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one hour； a saint like our dear friend Paphnutius。 But that is not possible。
Farewell； then； Thais！ Go where the secret forces of nature and your
destiny conduct you！ Go； and take with you； whithersoever you go； the
good wishes of Nicias！ I know that is mere foolishness； but can I give you
anything more than barren regrets and vain wishes in payment for the
delicious illusions which once enveloped me when I was in your arms； and
of which only the shadow now remains to me？ Farewell； my benefactress！
Farewell； goodness that is ignorant of its own existence； mysterious virtue；
joy of men！ Farewell to the most adorable of the images that nature has
ever thrownfor some unknown reasonson the face of this deceptive
world！〃
Whilst he spoke； deep wrath had been brewing in the monk's heart；
and it now broke forth in imprecations。
〃Avaunt； cursed wretch！ I scorn thee and hate thee。 Go； child of hell； a
thousand times worse than those poor lost ones who just now threw stones
and insults at me！ They knew not what they did； and the grace of God；
which I implored for them； may some day descend into their hearts。 But
thou； detestable Nicias； thou art but a perfidious venom and a bitter poison。
Thy mouth breathes despair and death。 One of thy smiles contains more
blasphemy than issues in a century from the smoking lips of Satan。 Avaunt；
backslider！〃
Nicias looked at him。
〃Farewell； my brother；〃 he said； 〃and may you preserve until your
life's end your store of faith； hate； and love。 Farewell； Thais！ It is in vain
that you will forget me； because I shall ever remember you。〃
On quitting them he walked thoughtfully through the winding streets
in the vicinity of the great cemetery of Alexandria； which are peopled by
the makers of funeral urns。 Their shops were full of clay figures painted in
bright colours and representing gods and goddesses； mimes； women；
winged sprites； &c。； such as were usually buried with the dead。 He fancied
that perhaps some of the little images which he saw there might be the
companions of his eternal sleep； and it seemed to him that a little Eros；
with its tunic tucked up； laughed at him mockingly。 He looked forward to
his death； and the idea was painful to him。 To cure his sadness he tried to
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philosophise； and reasoned thus
〃Assuredly；〃 he said to himself； 〃time has no reality。 It is a simple
illusion of our minds。 Then； if it does not exist； how can it bring death to
me？ Does that mean that I shall live for ever？ No； but I conclude
therefrom that my death is； always has been； as it always will be。 I do not
feel it yet； but it is in me； and I ought not to fear it； for it would be folly to
dread the coming of that which has arrived。 It exists； like the last page of a
book I read and have not finished。〃
This argument occupied him all the rest of the way； but without
making him more cheerful； and his mind was filled with dismal thoughts
when he arrived at the door of his house and heard the merry laughter of
Crobyle and Myrtale； who were playing at tennis whilst they were waiting
for him。
Paphnutius and Thais left the city by the Gate of the Moon； and
followed the coast。
〃Woman；〃 said the monk； 〃all that great blue sea could not wash away
thy pollutions。〃
He spoke with scorn and anger。
〃More filthy than a bitch or a sow； thou hast prostituted to pagans and
infidels a body which the Eternal had intended for a tabernacle； and thy
impurities are such that； now that thou knowest the truth； thou canst not
unite thy lips or join thy hands without a horror of thyself rising in thy
heart。〃
She followed him meekly； over stony roads； under a burning sun。 Her
knees ached from fatigue； and her throat was parched with thirst。 But； far
from feeling any of the pity which softens the hearts of the profane；
Paphnutius rejoiced at these propitiatory sufferings of the flesh which had
so sinned。 So infuriated was he with holy zeal that he would have liked to
cut with rods the body that had preserved its be