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the peacock's feather。 He rejected an enormous offer of money；
but he could not refuse a great gold medal； specially struck in
his honour by order of the Emperor。 At the end of the year he
returned to England； where the conqueror of the Taipings was made
a Companion of the Bath。
That the English authorities should have seen fit to recognise
Gordon's services by the reward usually reserved for industrious
clerks was typical of their attitude towards him until the very
end of his career。 Perhaps if he had been ready to make the most
of the wave of popularity which greeted him on his returnif he
had advertised his fame and； amid high circles； played the part
of Chinese Gordon in a becoming manner the results would have
been different。 But he was by nature farouche； his soul revolted
against dinner parties and stiff shirts； and the presence of
ladies especially of fashionable ladies filled him with
uneasiness。 He had； besides； a deeper dread of the world's
contaminations。 And so； when he was appointed to Gravesend to
supervise the erection of a system of forts at the mouth of the
Thames； he remained there quietly for six years； and at last was
almost forgotten。 The forts； which were extremely expensive and
quite useless； occupied his working hours； his leisure he devoted
to acts of charity and to religious contemplation。 The
neighbourhood
was a poverty…stricken one； and the kind Colonel； with his
tripping
step and simple manner； was soon a familiar figure in it；
chatting
with the seamen； taking provisions to starving families； or
visiting
some bedridden old woman to light her fire。 He was particularly
fond
of boys。 Ragged street arabs and rough sailor…lads crowded about
him。
They were made free of his house and garden； they visited him in
the
evenings for lessons and advice； he helped them； found them
employment；
corresponded with them when they went out into the world。 They
were； he said； his Wangs。 It was only by a singular austerity of
living that he was able to afford such a variety of charitable
expenses。 The easy luxuries of his class and station were unknown
to him： his clothes verged upon the shabby； and his frugal meals
were eaten at a table with a drawer； into which the loaf and
plate were quickly swept at the approach of his poor visitors。
Special occasions demanded special sacrifices。 When； during the
Lancashire famine； a public subscription was opened； finding
that he had no ready money； he remembered his Chinese medal；
and； after effacing the inscription； dispatched it as an
anonymous gift。
Except for his boys and his paupers； he lived alone。 In his
solitude； he ruminated upon the mysteries of the universe； and
those religious tendencies； which had already shown themselves；
now became a fixed and dominating factor in his life。 His reading
was confined almost entirely to the Bible； but the Bible he read
and re…read with an untiring； unending assiduity。 There； he
was convinced； all truth was to be found； and he was equally
convinced that he could find it。 The doubts of philosophers； the
investigations of commentators； the smiles of men of the world；
the dogmas of Churches such things meant nothing to the
Colonel。
Two facts alone were evident： there was the Bible； and there was
himself； and all that remained to be done was for him to discover
what were the Bible's instructions； and to act accordingly。 In
order to make this discovery it was only necessary for him to
read the Bible over and over again； and therefore； for the rest
of his life； he did so。
The faith that he evolved was mystical and fatalistic； it was
also highly unconventional。 His creed； based upon the narrow
foundations of Jewish Scripture； eked out occasionally by some
English evangelical manual； was yet wide enough to ignore every
doctrinal difference； and even； at moments； to transcend the
bounds of Christianity itself。 The just man was he who submitted
to the Will of God； and the Will of God； inscrutable and
absolute； could be served aright only by those who turned away
from earthly desires and temporal temptations； to rest themselves
whole…heartedly upon the in…dwelling Spirit。 Human beings were
the transitory embodiments of souls who had existed through an
infinite past； and would continue to exist through an infinite
future。
The world was vanity； the flesh was dust and ashes。 'A man；'
Gordon
wrote to his sister； 'who knows not the secret； who has not the
in…dwelling
of God revealed to him； is like this＇picture of a circle with
Body and
Soul written within it＇。 He takes the promises and curses as
addressed
to him as one man； and will not hear of there being any birth
before his
natural birth； in any existence except with the body he is in。
The man to
whom the secret （the indwelling of God） is revealed is like this：
＇picture
of a circle with soul and body enclosed in two separate circles＇。
He applies the promises to one and the curses to the other； if
disobedient； which he must be； except the soul is enabled by God
to rule。 He then sees he is not of this world； for when he speaks
of himself he quite disregards the body his soul lives in； which
is earthly。' Such conceptions are familiar enough in the history
of religious thought： they are those of the hermit and the fakir；
and it might have been expected that； when once they had taken
hold upon his mind； Gordon would have been content to lay aside
the activities of his profession； and would have relapsed at last
into the complete retirement of holy meditation。 But there were
other elements in his nature which urged him towards a very
different course。 He was no simple quietist。 He was an English
gentleman； an officer； a man of energy and action； a lover of
danger and the audacities that defeat danger； a passionate
creature； flowing over with the self…assertiveness of independent
judgment and the arbitrary temper of command。
Whatever he might find in his pocket…Bible； it was not for such
as
he to dream out his days in devout obscurity。 But； conveniently
enough；
he found nothing in his pocket…Bible indicating that he should。
What
he did find was that the Will of God was inscrutable and
absolute；
that it was man's duty to follow where God's hand led； and； if
God's hand led towards violent excitements and extraordinary
vicissitudes； that it was not only futile； it was impious to
turn another way。 Fatalism is always apt to be a double…edged
philosophy； for while； on the one hand； it reveals the minutest
occurrences as the immutable result of a rigid chain of
infinitely predestined causes； on the other； it invests the
wildest incoherences of conduct or of circumstance with the
sanctity of eternal law。 And Gordon's fatalism was no exception。
The same doctrine that led him to dally w