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Francis records the habit without bitterness； having reason to thank his
stars that his father respected the inside of his head whilst cuffing the
outside of it； and this made it easy for Francis to do yeoman's service to
his country as that rare and admirable thing； a Freethinker： the only sort
of thinker； I may remark； whose thoughts； and consequently whose
religious convictions； command any respect。
Now Mr Place； senior； would be described by many as a bad father；
and I do not contend that he was a conspicuously good one。 But as
compared with the conventional good father who deliberately imposes
himself on his son as a god； who takes advantage of childish credulity and
parent worship to persuade his son that what he approves of is right and
what he disapproves of is wrong； who imposes a corresponding conduct
on the child by a system of prohibitions and penalties； rewards and
eulogies； for which he claims divine sanction： compared to this sort of
abortionist and monster maker； I say； Place appears almost as a Providence。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Not that it is possible to live with children any more than with grown…up
people without imposing rules of conduct on them。 There is a point at
which every person with human nerves has to say to a child 〃Stop that
noise。〃 But suppose the child asks why！ There are various answers in use。
The simplest： 〃Because it irritates me；〃 may fail； for it may strike the
child as being rather amusing to irritate you； also the child； having
comparatively no nerves； may be unable to conceive your meaning vividly
enough。 In any case it may want to make a noise more than to spare your
feelings。 You may therefore have to explain that the effect of the irritation
will be that you will do something unpleasant if the noise continues。 The
something unpleasant may be only a look of suffering to rouse the child's
affectionate sympathy （if it has any）； or it may run to forcible expulsion
from the room with plenty of unnecessary violence； but the principle is the
same： there are no false pretences involved： the child learns in a
straightforward way that it does not pay to be inconsiderate。 Also；
perhaps； that Mamma； who made the child learn the Sermon on the Mount；
is not really a Christian。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The Sin of Nadab and Abihu
But there is another sort of answer in wide use which is neither
straightforward； instructive； nor harmless。 In its simplest form it
substitutes for 〃Stop that noise；〃 〃Dont be naughty；〃 which means that the
child； instead of annoying you by a perfectly healthy and natural infantile
procedure； is offending God。 This is a blasphemous lie； and the fact that
it is on the lips of every nurserymaid does not excuse it in the least。
Dickens tells us of a nurserymaid who elaborated it into 〃If you do that；
angels wont never love you。〃 I remember a servant who used to tell me
that if I were not good； by which she meant if I did not behave with a
single eye to her personal convenience； the cock would come down the
chimney。 Less imaginative but equally dishonest people told me I should
go to hell if I did not make myself agreeable to them。 Bodily violence；
provided it be the hasty expression of normal provoked resentment and not
vicious cruelty； cannot harm a child as this sort of pious fraud harms it。
There is a legal limit to physical cruelty； and there are also human limits to
it。 There is an active Society which brings to book a good many parents
who starve and torture and overwork their children； and intimidates a good
many more。 When parents of this type are caught； they are treated as
criminals； and not infrequently the police have some trouble to save them
from being lynched。 The people against whom children are wholly
unprotected are those who devote themselves to the very mischievous and
cruel sort of abortion which is called bringing up a child in the way it
should go。 Now nobody knows the way a child should go。 All the ways
discovered so far lead to the horrors of our existing civilizations； described
quite justifiably by Ruskin as heaps of agonizing human maggots；
struggling with one another for scraps of food。 Pious fraud is an attempt
to pervert that precious and sacred thing the child's conscience into an
instrument of our own convenience； and to use that wonderful and terrible
power called Shame to grind our own axe。 It is the sin of stealing fire
from the altar： a sin so impudently practised by popes； parents； and
pedagogues； that one can hardly expect the nurserymaids to see any harm
in stealing a few cinders when they are worrited。
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A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Into the blackest depths of this violation of children's souls one can
hardly bear to look； for here we find pious fraud masking the violation of
the body by obscene cruelty。 Any parent or school teacher who takes a
secret and abominable delight in torture is allowed to lay traps into which
every child must fall； and then beat it to his or her heart's content。 A
gentleman once wrote to me and said； with an obvious conviction that he
was being most reasonable and high minded； that the only thing he beat
his children for was failure in perfect obedience and perfect truthfulness。
On these attributes； he said； he must insist。 As one of them is not a virtue
at all； and the other is the attribute of a god； one can imagine what the
lives of this gentleman's children would have been if it had been possible
for him to live down to his monstrous and foolish pretensions。 And yet
he might have written his letter to The Times （he very nearly did； by the
way） without incurring any danger of being removed to an asylum； or
even losing his reputation for taking a very proper view of his par