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sketches of young gentlemen(定煤武平殆宙)-及12嫗

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sundry   contortions   of   countenance�察  �imitative   of   the   clown   in   one   of   the 

new     pantomimes�察     �which     were   so   extremely   successful�察     �that   one   stout 

gentleman   rolled   upon   an   ottoman   in   a   paroxysm   of   delight�察  �protesting�察�

with many gasps�察�that if somebody didn't make that fellow Griggins leave 

off�察�he would be the death of him�察�he knew。                  At this the company only 

laughed      more     boisterously     than    before�察   �and   as   we    always     like  to 

accommodate our tone and spirit if possible to the humour of any society 

in which we find ourself�察�we laughed with the rest�察�and exclaimed�察�'Oh� �

capital�察�capital��' as loud as any of them。 

     When he had quite exhausted all beholders�察�Mr。 Griggins received the 

welcomes and congratulations of the circle�察�and went through the needful 

introductions   with   much   ease   and   many  puns。         This   ceremony  over�察  �he 

avowed his intention of sitting in somebody's lap unless the young ladies 

made room for   him on the sofa�察�which being done�察�after a great deal of 

tittering and pleasantry�察�he squeezed himself among them�察�and likened his 

condition to that of love among the roses。             At this novel jest we all roared 

once more。       'You should consider yourself highly honoured�察�sir��' said we。 

'Sir��' replied Mr。 Griggins�察�'you do me proud。'               Here everybody laughed 

again�察   �and    the  stout   gentleman     by   the  fire  whispered      in  our   ear  that 

Griggins was making a dead set at us。 

     The tea´things having been removed�察�we all sat down to a round game�察�

and   here   Mr。   Griggins   shone   forth   with   peculiar   brilliancy�察  �abstracting 

other   people's   fish�察  �and   looking   over   their   hands   in   the   most   comical 

manner。      He   made   one   most   excellent   joke   in   snuffing   a   candle�察  �which 

was   neither   more   nor   less   than   setting   fire   to   the   hair   of   a   pale   young 

gentleman   who   sat   next   him�察  �and   afterwards   begging   his   pardon   with 

considerable   humour。         As   the   young   gentleman   could   not   see   the   joke 

however�察�possibly in consequence of its being on the top of his own head�察�

it did   not   go   off   quite  as   well   as it   might have  done�察�indeed�察 �the   young 

gentleman was heard to murmur some general references to 'impertinence��' 

and a 'rascal��' and to state the number of his lodgings in an angry tone ´ a 

turn of the conversation which might have been productive of slaughterous 

consequences�察�if a young lady�察�betrothed to the young gentleman�察�had not 



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used      her    immediate       influence     to    bring    about     a    reconciliation�此�

emphatically   declaring   in   an   agitated   whisper�察  �intended   for   his   peculiar 

edification but audible to the whole table�察�that if he went on in that way�察�

she never would think of him otherwise than as a friend�察�though as that she 

must   always   regard   him。        At   this   terrible   threat   the   young   gentleman 

became calm�察�and the young lady�察�overcome by the revulsion of feeling�察�

instantaneously fainted。 

     Mr。 Griggins's spirits were slightly depressed for a short period by this 

unlooked´for   result   of   such   a   harmless   pleasantry�察  �but   being   promptly 

elevated by the attentions of the host and several glasses of wine�察�he soon 

recovered�察  �and   became   even   more   vivacious   than   before�察  �insomuch   that 

the stout gentleman previously referred to�察�assured us that although he had 

known him since he was THAT high ��something smaller than a nutmeg´ 

grater���察�he had never beheld him in such excellent cue。 

     When   the   round   game   and   several   games   at   blind   man's   buff   which 

followed      it  were    all  over�察  �and   we   were    going    down     to  supper�察   �the 

inexhaustible  Mr。  Griggins   produced   a   small   sprig of   mistletoe  from  his 

waistcoat   pocket�察     �and   commenced        a  general    kissing   of  the   assembled 

females�察�which occasioned great commotion and much excitement。                            We 

observed that   several   young gentlemen ´   including the   young   gentleman 

with   the   pale   countenance   ´   were   greatly   scandalised   at   this   indecorous 

proceeding�察  �and   talked   very   big   among   themselves   in   corners�察  �and   we 

observed   too�察  �that   several   young   ladies   when   remonstrated   with   by   the 

aforesaid   young   gentlemen�察  �called   each   other   to   witness   how   they   had 

struggled�察 �and   protested vehemently  that   it   was   very  rude�察 �and that   they 

were surprised at Mrs。 Brown's allowing it�察�and that they couldn't bear it�察�

and had no patience with such impertinence。                 But such is the gentle and 

forgiving nature of woman�察�that although we looked very narrowly for it�察�

we could not detect the slightest harshness in the subsequent treatment of 

Mr。 Griggins。       Indeed�察�upon the whole�察�it struck us that among the ladies 

he seemed rather more popular than before� �

     To recount all the drollery of Mr。 Griggins at supper�察�would fill such a 

tiny   volume   as   this�察  �to   the   very   bottom   of   the   outside   cover。 How   he 

drank out of other people's glasses�察�and ate of other people's bread�察�how he 



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frightened into screaming   convulsions a little  boy who was   sitting up   to 

supper     in   a  high    chair�察  �by   sinking    below     the  table   and    suddenly 

reappearing   with   a   mask   on�察  �how   the   hostess   was   really   surprised   that 

anybody  could   find   a   pleasure  in   tormenting  children�察  �and   how  the   host 

frowned at the hostess�察�and felt convinced that Mr。 Griggins had done it 

with    the   very   best  intentions�察   �how    Mr。   Griggins    explained�察   �and    how 

everybody's good´humour was restored but the child's�察 � to tell these and a 

hundred other things ever so briefly�察�would occupy more of our room and 

our    readers'   patience�察  �than   either   they   or  we   can   conveniently      spare。 

Therefore we change the subject�察�merely observing that we have offered 

no    description    of   the  funny    young     gentleman's     personal    appearance�察�

believing that almost every society has a Griggins of its own�察�and leaving 

all    readers    to   supply    the    deficiency�察   �according      to   the   particular 

circumstances of their particular case。 



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