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trouble in the world could have imagined； but first she desires to
know if the valiant and never vanquished knight； Don Quixote of La
Mancha； is in this your castle； for she has come in quest of him on
foot and without breaking her fast from the kingdom of Kandy to your
realms here； a thing which may and ought to be regarded as a miracle
or set down to enchantment； she is even now at the gate of this
fortress or plaisance； and only waits for your permission to enter。
I have spoken。〃 And with that he coughed； and stroked down his beard
with both his hands； and stood very tranquilly waiting for the
response of the duke； which was to this effect： 〃Many days ago； worthy
squire Trifaldin of the White Beard； we heard of the misfortune of
my lady the Countess Trifaldi； whom the enchanters have caused to be
called the Distressed Duenna。 Bid her enter； O stupendous squire；
and tell her that the valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha is here；
and from his generous disposition she may safely promise herself every
protection and assistance； and you may tell her； too； that if my aid
be necessary it will not be withheld； for I am bound to give it to her
by my quality of knight； which involves the protection of women of all
sorts； especially widowed； wronged； and distressed dames； such as
her ladyship seems to be。〃
On hearing this Trifaldin bent the knee to the ground； and making
a sign to the fifer and drummers to strike up； he turned and marched
out of the garden to the same notes and at the same pace as when he
entered； leaving them all amazed at his bearing and solemnity。 Turning
to Don Quixote； the duke said； 〃After all； renowned knight； the
mists of malice and ignorance are unable to hide or obscure the
light of valour and virtue。 I say so； because your excellence has been
barely six days in this castle； and already the unhappy and the
afflicted come in quest of you from lands far distant and remote；
and not in coaches or on dromedaries； but on foot and fasting；
confident that in that mighty arm they will find a cure for their
sorrows and troubles； thanks to your great achievements； which are
circulated all over the known earth。〃
〃I wish； senor duke；〃 replied Don Quixote； 〃that blessed
ecclesiastic； who at table the other day showed such ill…will and
bitter spite against knights…errant； were here now to see with his own
eyes whether knights of the sort are needed in the world； he would
at any rate learn by experience that those suffering any extraordinary
affliction or sorrow； in extreme cases and unusual misfortunes do
not go to look for a remedy to the houses of jurists or village
sacristans； or to the knight who has never attempted to pass the
bounds of his own town； or to the indolent courtier who only seeks for
news to repeat and talk of； instead of striving to do deeds and
exploits for others to relate and record。 Relief in distress； help
in need； protection for damsels； consolation for widows； are to be
found in no sort of persons better than in knights…errant； and I
give unceasing thanks to heaven that I am one； and regard any
misfortune or suffering that may befall me in the pursuit of so
honourable a calling as endured to good purpose。 Let this duenna
come and ask what she will； for I will effect her relief by the
might of my arm and the dauntless resolution of my bold heart。〃
CHAPTER XXXVII
WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE DISTRESSED DUENNA
THE duke and duchess were extremely glad to see how readily Don
Quixote fell in with their scheme； but at this moment Sancho observed；
〃I hope this senora duenna won't be putting any difficulties in the
way of the promise of my government； for I have heard a Toledo
apothecary； who talked like a goldfinch； say that where duennas were
mixed up nothing good could happen。 God bless me； how he hated them；
that same apothecary！ And so what I'm thinking is； if all duennas；
of whatever sort or condition they may be； are plagues and busybodies；
what must they be that are distressed； like this Countess Three…skirts
or Three…tails！… for in my country skirts or tails； tails or skirts；
it's all one。〃
〃Hush； friend Sancho；〃 said Don Quixote； 〃since this lady duenna
comes in quest of me from such a distant land she cannot be one of
those the apothecary meant； moreover this is a countess； and when
countesses serve as duennas it is in the service of queens and
empresses； for in their own houses they are mistresses paramount and
have other duennas to wait on them。〃
To this Dona Rodriguez； who was present； made answer； 〃My lady the
duchess has duennas in her service that might be countesses if it
was the will of fortune； 'but laws go as kings like；' let nobody speak
ill of duennas； above all of ancient maiden ones； for though I am
not one myself； I know and am aware of the advantage a maiden duenna
has over one that is a widow； but 'he who clipped us has kept the
scissors。'〃
〃For all that；〃 said Sancho； 〃there's so much to be clipped about
duennas； so my barber said； that 'it will be better not to stir the
rice even though it sticks。'〃
〃These squires；〃 returned Dona Rodriguez； 〃are always our enemies；
and as they are the haunting spirits of the antechambers and watch
us at every step； whenever they are not saying their prayers （and
that's often enough） they spend their time in tattling about us；
digging up our bones and burying our good name。 But I can tell these
walking blocks that we will live in spite of them； and in great houses
too； though we die of hunger and cover our flesh； be it delicate or
not； with widow's weeds； as one covers or hides a dunghill on a
procession day。 By my faith； if it were permitted me and time allowed；
I could prove； not only to those here present； but to all the world；
that there is no virtue that is not to be found in a duenna。〃
〃I have no doubt；〃 said the duchess； 〃that my good Dona Rodriguez is
right； and very much so； but she had better bide her time for fighting
her own battle and that of the rest of the duennas； so as to crush the
calumny of that vile apothecary； and root out the prejudice in the
great Sancho Panza's mind。〃
To which Sancho replied； 〃Ever since I have sniffed the governorship
I have got rid of the humours of a squire； and I don't care a wild fig
for all the duennas in the world。〃
They would have carried on this duenna dispute further had they
not heard the notes of the fife and drums once more； from which they
concluded that the Distressed Duenna was making her entrance。 The
duchess asked the duke if it would be proper to go out to receive her；
as she was a countess and a person of rank。
〃In respect of her being a countess；〃 said Sancho； before the duke
could reply； 〃I am for your highnesses going out to receive her； but
in respect of her being a duenna； it is my opinion you should not stir
a step。〃
〃Who bade thee meddle in this； Sancho？〃 said Don Quixote。
〃Who； senor？〃 said Sancho； 〃I meddle for I have a right to meddle；
as a squire who has learned the rules of courtesy in the school of
your worship； the most courteous and best…bred knight in the whole
world of courtliness； and in these things；