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came to the knowledge of my lady； and she； not to have any fuss
about it； had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother
Roman Catholic Church； of which marriage a daughter was born to put an
end to my good fortune； if I had any； not that I died in childbirth；
for I passed through it safely and in due season； but because
shortly afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received； and
had I time to tell you of it I know your worship would be
surprised；〃 and here she began to weep bitterly and said； 〃Pardon
me； Senor Don Quixote； if I am unable to control myself； for every
time I think of my unfortunate husband my eyes fill up with tears。 God
bless me； with what an air of dignity he used to carry my lady
behind him on a stout mule as black as jet！ for in those days they did
not use coaches or chairs； as they say they do now； and ladies rode
behind their squires。 This much at least I cannot help telling you；
that you may observe the good breeding and punctiliousness of my
worthy husband。 As he was turning into the Calle de Santiago in
Madrid； which is rather narrow； one of the alcaldes of the Court； with
two alguacils before him； was coming out of it； and as soon as my good
squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he would
turn and accompany him。 My lady； who was riding behind him； said to
him in a low voice； 'What are you about； you sneak； don't you see that
I am here？' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said
to him； 'Proceed； senor； for it is I； rather； who ought to accompany
my lady Dona Casilda'… for that was my mistress's name。 Still my
husband； cap in hand； persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde；
and seeing this my lady； filled with rage and vexation； pulled out a
big pin； or； I rather think； a bodkin； out of her needle…case and
drove it into his back with such force that my husband gave a loud
yell； and writhing fell to the ground with his lady。 Her two
lacqueys ran to rise her up； and the alcalde and the alguacils did the
same； the Guadalajara gate was all in commotion …I mean the idlers
congregated there； my mistress came back on foot； and my husband
hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he was run right
through the guts。 The courtesy of my husband was noised abroad to such
an extent； that the boys gave him no peace in the street； and on
this account； and because he was somewhat shortsighted； my lady
dismissed him； and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a
doubt that brought on his death。 I was left a helpless widow； with a
daughter on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea…foam； at
length； however； as I had the character of being an excellent
needlewoman； my lady the duchess； then lately married to my lord the
duke； offered to take me with her to this kingdom of Aragon； and my
daughter also； and here as time went by my daughter grew up and with
her all the graces in the world； she sings like a lark； dances quick
as thought； foots it like a gipsy； reads and writes like a
schoolmaster； and does sums like a miser； of her neatness I say
nothing； for the running water is not purer； and her age is now； if my
memory serves me； sixteen years five months and three days； one more
or less。 To come to the point； the son of a very rich farmer； living
in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here； fell in
love with this girl of mine； and in short； how I know not； they came
together； and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my
daughter； and will not keep his word。 And though my lord the duke is
aware of it （for I have complained to him； not once but many and
many a time； and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my
daughter）； he turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me； the
reason being that as the deceiver's father is so rich； and lends him
money； and is constantly going security for his debts； he does not
like to offend or annoy him in any way。 Now； senor； I want your
worship to take it upon yourself to redress this wrong either by
entreaty or by arms； for by what all the world says you came into it
to redress grievances and right wrongs and help the unfortunate。 Let
your worship put before you the unprotected condition of my
daughter； her youth； and all the perfections I have said she
possesses； and before God and on my conscience； out of all the damsels
my lady has； there is not one that comes up to the sole of her shoe；
and the one they call Altisidora； and look upon as the boldest and
gayest of them； put in comparison with my daughter； does not come
within two leagues of her。 For I would have you know； senor； all is
not gold that glitters； and that same little Altisidora has more
forwardness than good looks； and more impudence than modesty；
besides being not very sound； for she has such a disagreeable breath
that one cannot bear to be near her for a moment； and even my lady the
duchess… but I'll hold my tongue； for they say that walls have ears。〃
〃For heaven's sake； Dona Rodriguez； what ails my lady the
duchess？〃 asked Don Quixote。
〃Adjured in that way；〃 replied the duenna； 〃I cannot help
answering the question and telling the whole truth。 Senor Don Quixote；
have you observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess； that smooth
complexion of hers like a burnished polished sword； those two cheeks
of milk and carmine； that gay lively step with which she treads or
rather seems to spurn the earth； so that one would fancy she went
radiating health wherever she passed？ Well then； let me tell you she
may thank； first of all God； for this； and next； two issues that she
has； one in each leg； by which all the evil humours； of which the
doctors say she is full； are discharged。〃
〃Blessed Virgin！〃 exclaimed Don Quixote； 〃and is it possible that my
lady the duchess has drains of that sort？ I would not have believed it
if the barefoot friars had told it me； but as the lady Dona
Rodriguez says so； it must be so。 But surely such issues； and in
such places； do not discharge humours； but liquid amber。 Verily； I
do believe now that this practice of opening issues is a very
important matter for the health。〃
Don Quixote had hardly said this； when the chamber door flew open
with a loud bang； and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez
let the candle fall from her hand； and the room was left as dark as
a wolf's mouth； as the saying is。 Suddenly the poor duenna felt two
hands seize her by the throat； so tightly that she could not croak；
while some one else； without uttering a word； very briskly hoisted
up her petticoats； and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay
on so heartily that anyone would have felt pity for her； but
although Don Quixote felt it he never stirred from his bed； but lay
quiet and silent； nay apprehensive that his turn for a drubbing
might be coming。 Nor was the apprehension an idle one； one； for
leaving the duenna （who did not dare to cry out） well basted； the
silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote； and stripping him of the
sheet and the coverlet； they pinched him so fast and so hard that he
was driven to defend himself with his fists； and all this in
marvellous silence。 The battle lasted n