按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
time withheld it； and just as I thought she was taking out the
dagger to save her honour； or struggling for words to make some
declaration of the truth on my behalf； I heard her say in a faint
and feeble voice； 'I will：' Don Fernando said the same； and giving her
the ring they stood linked by a knot that could never be loosed。 The
bridegroom then approached to embrace his bride； and she； pressing her
hand upon her heart； fell fainting in her mother's arms。 It only
remains now for me to tell you the state I was in when in that consent
that I heard I saw all my hopes mocked； the words and promises of
Luscinda proved falsehoods； and the recovery of the prize I had that
instant lost rendered impossible for ever。 I stood stupefied； wholly
abandoned； it seemed； by Heaven； declared the enemy of the earth
that bore me； the air refusing me breath for my sighs； the water
moisture for my tears； it was only the fire that gathered strength
so that my whole frame glowed with rage and jealousy。 They were all
thrown into confusion by Luscinda's fainting； and as her mother was
unlacing her to give her air a sealed paper was discovered in her
bosom which Don Fernando seized at once and began to read by the light
of one of the torches。 As soon as he had read it he seated himself
in a chair； leaning his cheek on his hand in the attitude of one
deep in thought； without taking any part in the efforts that were
being made to recover his bride from her fainting fit。
〃Seeing all the household in confusion； I ventured to come out
regardless whether I were seen or not； and determined； if I were； to
do some frenzied deed that would prove to all the world the
righteous indignation of my breast in the punishment of the
treacherous Don Fernando； and even in that of the fickle fainting
traitress。 But my fate； doubtless reserving me for greater sorrows； if
such there be； so ordered it that just then I had enough and to
spare of that reason which has since been wanting to me； and so；
without seeking to take vengeance on my greatest enemies （which
might have been easily taken； as all thought of me was so far from
their minds）； I resolved to take it upon myself； and on myself to
inflict the pain they deserved； perhaps with even greater severity
than I should have dealt out to them had I then slain them； for sudden
pain is soon over； but that which is protracted by tortures is ever
slaying without ending life。 In a word； I quitted the house and
reached that of the man with whom I had left my mule； I made him
saddle it for me； mounted without bidding him farewell； and rode out
of the city； like another Lot； not daring to turn my head to look back
upon it； and when I found myself alone in the open country； screened
by the darkness of the night； and tempted by the stillness to give
vent to my grief without apprehension or fear of being heard or
seen； then I broke silence and lifted up my voice in maledictions upon
Luscinda and Don Fernando； as if I could thus avenge the wrong they
had done me。 I called her cruel； ungrateful； false； thankless； but
above all covetous； since the wealth of my enemy had blinded the
eyes of her affection； and turned it from me to transfer it to one
to whom fortune had been more generous and liberal。 And yet； in the
midst of this outburst of execration and upbraiding； I found excuses
for her； saying it was no wonder that a young girl in the seclusion of
her parents' house； trained and schooled to obey them always； should
have been ready to yield to their wishes when they offered her for a
husband a gentleman of such distinction； wealth； and noble birth； that
if she had refused to accept him she would have been thought out of
her senses； or to have set her affection elsewhere； a suspicion
injurious to her fair name and fame。 But then again； I said； had she
declared I was her husband； they would have seen that in choosing me
she had not chosen so ill but that they might excuse her； for before
Don Fernando had made his offer； they themselves could not have
desired； if their desires had been ruled by reason； a more eligible
husband for their daughter than I was； and she； before taking the last
fatal step of giving her hand； might easily have said that I had
already given her mine； for I should have come forward to support
any assertion of hers to that effect。 In short； I came to the
conclusion that feeble love； little reflection； great ambition； and
a craving for rank； had made her forget the words with which she had
deceived me； encouraged and supported by my firm hopes and
honourable passion。
〃Thus soliloquising and agitated； I journeyed onward for the
remainder of the night； and by daybreak I reached one of the passes of
these mountains； among which I wandered for three days more without
taking any path or road； until I came to some meadows lying on I
know not which side of the mountains； and there I inquired of some
herdsmen in what direction the most rugged part of the range lay。 They
told me that it was in this quarter； and I at once directed my
course hither； intending to end my life here； but as I was making my
way among these crags； my mule dropped dead through fatigue and
hunger； or； as I think more likely； in order to have done with such
a worthless burden as it bore in me。 I was left on foot； worn out；
famishing； without anyone to help me or any thought of seeking help：
and so thus I lay stretched on the ground； how long I know not；
after which I rose up free from hunger； and found beside me some
goatherds； who no doubt were the persons who had relieved me in my
need； for they told me how they had found me； and how I had been
uttering ravings that showed plainly I had lost my reason； and since
then I am conscious that I am not always in full possession of it； but
at times so deranged and crazed that I do a thousand mad things；
tearing my clothes； crying aloud in these solitudes； cursing my
fate； and idly calling on the dear name of her who is my enemy； and
only seeking to end my life in lamentation； and when I recover my
senses I find myself so exhausted and weary that I can scarcely
move。 Most commonly my dwelling is the hollow of a cork tree large
enough to shelter this miserable body； the herdsmen and goatherds
who frequent these mountains； moved by compassion； furnish me with
food； leaving it by the wayside or on the rocks； where they think I
may perhaps pass and find it； and so； even though I may be then out of
my senses； the wants of nature teach me what is required to sustain
me； and make me crave it and eager to take it。 At other times； so they
tell me when they find me in a rational mood； I sally out upon the
road； and though they would gladly give it me； I snatch food by
force from the shepherds bringing it from the village to their huts。
Thus do pass the wretched life that remains to me； until it be
Heaven's will to bring it to a close； or so to order my memory that
I no longer recollect the beauty and treachery of Luscinda； or the
wrong done me by Don Fernando； for if it will do this without
depriving me of life； I will turn my thoughts into some better
channel； if not； I can only implore it to have full mercy on m