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Here the chief difficulty was in making the shopman understand that I
really and truly wanted old clothes。 But after fruitless attempts to press
upon me new and impossible coats and trousers； he began to bring to light
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heaps of old ones； looking mysterious the while and hinting darkly。 This
he did with the palpable intention of letting me know that he had 〃piped
my lay；〃 in order to bulldose me； through fear of exposure； into paying
heavily for my purchases。 A man in trouble； or a high…class criminal
from across the water； was what he took my measure forin either case； a
person anxious to avoid the police。
But I disputed with him over the outrageous difference between prices
and values； till I quite disabused him of the notion； and he settled down to
drive a hard bargain with a hard customer。 In the end I selected a pair of
stout though well…worn trousers； a frayed jacket with one remaining button；
a pair of brogans which had plainly seen service where coal was shovelled；
a thin leather belt； and a very dirty cloth cap。 My underclothing and
socks； however； were new and warm； but of the sort that any American
waif； down in his luck； could acquire in the ordinary course of events。
〃I must sy yer a sharp 'un；〃 he said； with counterfeit admiration； as I
handed over the ten shillings finally agreed upon for the outfit。 〃Blimey；
if you ain't ben up an' down Petticut Lane afore now。 Yer trouseys is
wuth five bob to hany man； an' a docker 'ud give two an' six for the shoes；
to sy nothin' of the coat an' cap an' new stoker's singlet an' hother things。〃
〃How much will you give me for them？〃 I demanded suddenly。 〃I
paid you ten bob for the lot； and I'll sell them back to you； right now； for
eight！ Come； it's a go！〃
But he grinned and shook his head； and though I had made a good
bargain； I was unpleasantly aware that he had made a better one。
I found the cabby and a policeman with their heads together； but the
latter； after looking me over sharply； and particularly scrutinizing the
bundle under my arm； turned away and left the cabby to wax mutinous by
himself。 And not a step would he budge till I paid him the seven shillings
and sixpence owing him。 Whereupon he was willing to drive me to the
ends of the earth； apologising profusely for his insistence； and explaining
that one ran across queer customers in London Town。
But he drove me only to Highbury Vale； in North London； where my
luggage was waiting for me。 Here； next day； I took off my shoes （not
without regret for their lightness and comfort）； and my soft； grey travelling
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suit； and； in fact； all my clothing； and proceeded to array myself in the
clothes of the other and unimaginable men； who must have been indeed
unfortunate to have had to part with such rags for the pitiable sums
obtainable from a dealer。
Inside my stoker's singlet； in the armpit； I sewed a gold sovereign （an
emergency sum certainly of modest proportions）； and inside my stoker's
singlet I put myself。 And then I sat down and moralised upon the fair
years and fat； which had made my skin soft and brought the nerves close
to the surface； for the singlet was rough and raspy as a hair shirt； and I am
confident that the most rigorous of ascetics suffer no more than I did in the
ensuing twenty…four hours。
The remainder of my costume was fairly easy to put on； though the
brogans； or brogues； were quite a problem。 As stiff and hard as if made
of wood； it was only after a prolonged pounding of the uppers with my
fists that I was able to get my feet into them at all。 Then； with a few
shillings； a knife； a handkerchief； and some brown papers and flake
tobacco stowed away in my pockets； I thumped down the stairs and said
good…bye to my foreboding friends。 As I paused out of the door； the
〃help；〃 a comely middle…aged woman； could not conquer a grin that
twisted her lips and separated them till the throat； out of involuntary
sympathy； made the uncouth animal noises we are wont to designate as
〃laughter。〃
No sooner was I out on the streets than I was impressed by the
difference in status effected by my clothes。 All servility vanished from
the demeanour of the common people with whom I came in contact。
Presto！ in the twinkling of an eye； so to say； I had become one of them。
My frayed and out…at…elbows jacket was the badge and advertisement of
my class； which was their class。 It made me of like kind； and in place of
the fawning and too respectful attention I had hitherto received； I now
shared with them a comradeship。 The man in corduroy and dirty
neckerchief no longer addressed me as 〃sir〃 or 〃governor。〃 It was 〃mate〃
nowand a fine and hearty word； with a tingle to it； and a warmth and
gladness； which the other term does not possess。 Governor！ It smacks
of mastery； and power； and high authoritythe tribute of the man who is
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under to the man on top； delivered in the hope that he will let up a bit and
ease his weight； which is another way of saying that it is an appeal for
alms。
This brings me to a delight I experienced in my rags and tatters which
is denied the average American abroad。 The European traveller from the
States； who is not a Croesus； speedily finds himself reduced to a chronic
state of self…conscious sordidness by the hordes of cringing robbers who
clutter his steps from dawn till dark； and deplete his pocket…book in a way
that puts compound interest to the blush。
In my rags and tatters I escaped the pestilence of tipping； and
encountered men on a basis of equality。 Nay； before the day was out I
turned the tables； and said； most gratefully； 〃Thank