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the daisy chain, or aspirations-第177章

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simple girl was the deprivation of her precious photograph。  It was
like losing Harry over again; to go to bed without it; though she
would not for the world seem to grudge it to her father。

Ethel found an opportunity of telling him of this distress; and it
almost made him smile。  〃Poor Mary;〃 he said; 〃is she so fond of it?
It is rather a libel than a likeness。〃

〃Don't say so to her; pray; papa。  It is all the world to her。  Three
strokes on paper would have been the same; if they had been called by
his name。〃

〃Yes; a loving heart has eyes of its own; and she is a dear girl!〃

He did not forget to restore the treasure with gratitude
proportionate to what the loan had cost Mary。  With a trembling
voice; she proffered it to him for the whole day; and every day; if
she might only have it at night; and she even looked black when he
did not accept the proposal。

〃It is exactly like〃 said she。

〃It can't help being so; in a certain sense;〃 he answered kindly;
〃but after all; Mary dear; he did not pout out his chin in that way。〃

Mary was somewhat mortified; but she valued her photograph more than
ever; because no one else would admire it; except Daisy; whom she had
taught to regard it with unrivalled veneration。

A letter soon arrived from Captain Gordon; giving a fuller account of
the loss of his ship; and of the conduct of his officers; speaking in
the highest terms of Alan Ernescliffe; for whom he said he mourned as
for his own son; and; with scarcely less warmth; of Harry; mentioning
the high esteem all had felt for the boy; and the good effect which
the influence of his high and truthful spirit had produced on the
other youngsters; who keenly regretted him。

Captain Gordon added that the will of the late Captain Ernescliffe
had made him guardian of his sons; and that he believed poor Alan had
died intestate。  He should therefore take upon himself the charge of
young Hector; and he warmly thanked Dr。 May and his family for all
the kindness that the lad had received。

Though the loss of poor Hector's visits was regretted; it was; on the
whole; a comforting letter; and would give still more comfort in
future time。

Richard contrived to come home through Oxford and see Norman; whom he
found calm; and almost relieved by the cessation from suspense; not
inclined; as his father had feared; to drown sorrow in labour; but
regarding his grief as an additional call to devote himself to
ministerial work。  In fact; the blow had fallen when he first heard
the rumour of danger; and could not recur with the same force。

Richard was surprised to find that Margaret was less cast down than
he could have dared to hope。  It did not seem like an affliction to
her。  Her countenance wore the same gentle smile; and she was as
ready to participate in all that passed; finding sympathy for the
little pleasures of Aubrey and Gertrude; and delighting in Flora's
baby; as well as going over Cocksmoor politics with a clearness and
accuracy that astonished him; and asking questions about his parish
and occupations; so as fully to enjoy his short visit; which she
truly called the greatest possible treat。

If it had not been for the momentary consternation that she had seen
upon Dr。 Spencer's face; Ethel would have been perfectly satisfied;
but she could not help sometimes entertaining a dim fancy that this
composure came from a sense that she was too near Alan to mourn for
him。  Could it be true that her frame was more wasted; that there was
less capability of exertion; that her hours became later in the
morning; and that her nights were more wakeful?  Would she fade away?
Ethel longed to know what her father thought; but she could neither
bear to inspire him with the apprehension; nor to ask Dr。 Spencer's
opinion; lest she should be confirmed in her own。

The present affliction altered Dr。 May more visibly than the death of
his wife; perhaps; because there was not the same need of exertion。
If he often rose high in faith and resignation; he would also sink
very low under the sense of bereavement and disappointment。  Though
Richard was his stay; and Norman his pride; there was something in
Harry more congenial to his own temper; and he could not but be bowed
down by the ruin of such bright hopes。  With all his real submission;
he was weak; and gave way to outbursts of grief; for which he blamed
himself as unthankful; and his whole demeanour was so saddened and
depressed; that Ethel and Dr。 Spencer consulted mournfully over him;
whenever they walked to Cocksmoor together。

This was not as often as usual; though the walls of the school were
rising; for Dr。 Spencer had taken a large share of his friend's work
for the present; and both physicians were much occupied by the
condition of Mr。 Ramsden who was fast sinking; and; for some weeks;
seemed only kept alive by their skill。  The struggle ended at last;
and his forty years' cure of Stoneborough was closed。  It made Dr。
May very sadhis affections had tendrils for anything that he had
known from boyhood; and though he had often spoken strong words of
the vicar; he now sat sorrowfully moralising and making excuses。
〃People in former times had not so high an estimate of pastoral duty…
…poor Mr。 Ramsden had not much educationhe was already old when
better times came inhe might have done better in a less difficult
parish with better laity to support him; etc。〃  Yet after all; he
exclaimed with one of his impatient gestures; 〃Better have my Harry's
seventeen years than his sixty…seven!〃

〃Better improve a talent than lay it by!〃 said Ethel。

〃Hush! Ethel。  How do you know what he may have done?  If he acted up
to his own standard; he did more than most of us。〃

〃Which is best;〃 said Ethel; 〃a high standard; not acted up to; or a
lower one fulfilled?〃

〃I think it depends on the will;〃 said Margaret。

〃Some people are angry with those whose example would show that there
is a higher standard;〃 said Ethel。

〃And;〃 said Margaret; 〃some who have the high one set before them
content themselves with knowing that it cannot be fully attained; and
will not try。〃

〃The standard is the effect of early impression;〃 said Dr。 May。  〃I
should be very sorry to think it could not be raised。〃

〃Faithful in a little〃 said Ethel。  〃I suppose all good people's
standard is always going higher。〃

〃As they comprehend more of absolute perfection;〃 said Margaret。




CHAPTER XV。



The city's golden spire it was;
  When hope and health were strongest;
But now it is the churchyard grass;
  We look upon the longest。E。 B。 BROWNING。


A disinclination for exertion or going into public hung upon Dr。 May;
but he was obliged to rouse himself to attend the Town Council
meeting; which was held a few days after the vicar's funeral; to
decide on the next appointment。  If it had depended on himself alone;
his choice would have been Mr。 Edward Wilmot; whom the death of his
good old father had uprooted from Settlesham; and the girls had much
hope; but he was too much out of spirits to be sanguine。  He said
that he should only hear a great deal of offensive stuff from Tomkins
the brewer; and that; in the desire to d
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