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how I dread reading up all I must read presently！ I shall lose all I
have scarcely gained。 I cannot find peace any way； but by throwing
down the load I gave my peace for。〃
〃Whether this is truth or fancy；〃 said Ethel thoughtfully。 〃If you
would ask some one competent。〃
〃Don't you know there are some things one cannot ask？〃 said Flora。
〃I don't know why I spoke to you！ Ah！ come in！ Why； George； that is
a finer egg than ever；〃 as he entered with a Shanghai egg in each
hand； for her to mark with the date when it had been laid。 Poultry
was a new hobby； and Ethel had been hearing； in her tete…a…tete
dinners with George； a great deal about the perfections of the
hideous monsters that had obtained fabulous prices。 They had been
the best resource for conversation； but she watched； with something
between vexation and softness； how Flora roused herself to give her
full attention and interest to his prosing about his pets； really
pleased as it seemed； and； at last； encouraging him actually to fetch
his favourite cock to show her； when she went through the points of
perfection of the ungainly mass of feathers； and did not at all allow
Ethel to laugh at the unearthly sounds of disapproval which handling
elicited。
〃And this is our senator！〃 thought Ethel。 〃I wonder whether
Honorius's hen was a Shanghai！ Poor Flora is rightit is poor work
to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear！ but； putting him into the
place is one thing； taking him out another。 I wish she would take
advice； but I never knew her do that； except as a civil way of
communicating her intentions。 However； she is not quite what she
was！ Poor dear！ Aunt Flora will never believe what a beautiful
creature she used to be！ It seems wrong to think of her going back
to that horrid London； but I can't judge。 For my part； I'd rather do
work； than no work for George； and he is a good； kind…hearted fellow
after all！ I won't be a crab！〃
So Ethel did her best； and said the cock had a bright eyeall she
could say for himand George instructed her to admire the awkward
legs； and invited her to a poultry show； at Whitford； in two days'
timeand they sent him away to continue his consultations with the
poultry woman； which pullets should be preferred as candidates for a
prize。
〃Meta set him upon this；〃 said Flora。 〃I hope you will go； Ethel。
You see he can be very happy here。〃
〃Still；〃 said Ethel； 〃the more I think； the more sure I am that you
ought to ask advice。〃
〃I have asked yours；〃 said Flora； as if it were a great effort。 〃You
don't know what to sayI shall do what I see to be the only way to
rest。〃
〃I do know what to say；〃 said Ethel； 〃and that is； do as the Prayer…
book tells you； in any perplexity。〃
〃I am not perplexed；〃 said Flora。
〃Don't say so。 This is either the station to which God has called
you； or it is not。〃
〃He never called me to it。〃
〃But you don't know whether you ought to leave it。 If you ought not；
you would be ten times more miserable。 Go to Richard； Florahe
belongs to you as much as Ihe has authority besides。〃
〃Richard！〃
〃He is the clearest of us all in practical matters；〃 said Ethel；
preventing what she feared would be disparaging。 〃I don't mean only
that you should ask him about this Parliament matter alone； but I am
sure you would be happier and more settled if you talked things over
with him beforebefore you go to church。〃
〃You don't know what you propose。〃
〃I do；〃 said Ethel； growing bolder。 〃You have been going all this
time by feeling。 You have never cleared up； and got to the bottom
of； your troubles。〃
〃I could not talk to any one。〃
〃Not to any one but a clergyman。 Now； to enter on such a thing is
most averse to your nature； and I do believe that； for that very
reason； it would be what would do you most good。 You say you have
recovered sense of Oh； Flora！ I can't talk of what you have gone
through； but if you have only a vague feeling that seems as if lying
still would be the only way to keep it； I don't think it can be
altogether sound； or the 'quiet conscience' that is meant。〃
〃Oh； Ethel！ Ethel！ I have never told you what I have undergone；
since I knew my former quietness of conscience was but sleep！ I have
gone on in agony； with the sense of hypocrisy and despair； because I
was afraid； for George's sake； to do otherwise。〃
Elhel felt herself utterly powerless to advise； and； after a kind
sound of sympathy； sat shocked； pondering on what none could answer；
whether this were； indeed； what poor Flora imagined； or whether it
had been a holding…fast to the thread through the darkness。 The
proud reserve was the true evil； and Ethel prayed and trusted it
might give way。
She went very amiably to Whitford with George； and gained great
credit with him； for admiring the prettiest speckled Hamburgh
present； indeed； George was becoming very fond of 〃poor Ethel；〃 as he
still called her； and sometimes predicted that she would turn out a
fine figure of a woman after all。
Ethel heard； on her return； that Richard had been there； and three
days after； when Flora was making arrangements for going to church； a
moment of confidence came over her； and she said； 〃I did it； Ethel！
I have spoken to Richard。〃
〃I am so glad！〃
〃You were right。 He is as clear as he is kind；〃 said Flora； 〃he
showed me that； for George's sake； I must bear with my present life；
and do the best I can with it； unless some leading comes for an
escape； and that the glare； and weariness； and being spoken well of；
must be taken as punishment for having sought after these things。〃
〃I was afraid he would say so；〃 said Ethel。 〃But you will find
happiness again； Flora dear。〃
〃Scarcelybefore I come to Margaret and to my child；〃 sighed Flora。
〃I suppose it was Mercy that would not let me follow when I wished
it。 I must work till the time of rest comes！〃
〃And your own little Margaret will cheer you！〃 said Ethel； more
hopefully； as she saw Flora bend over her baby with a face that might
one day be bright。
She trusted that patient continuance in well…doing would one day win
peace and joy； even in the dreary world that poor Flora had chosen。
For her own part； Ethel found Flora's practical good sense and
sympathy very useful； in her present need of the counsel she had
always had from Margaret。
The visit to Flora lasted a fortnight； and Ethel was much benefited
by the leisure for reading and the repose after the long nursing；
though； before the end； her refreshed energies began to pine for
Daisy and her hymns； for Aubrey and his Virgil； for Cherry and her
scholars； and； above all； for her father； for； come as often as he
would； it was not papa at home。
On the other hand； Mary was at a loss for Ethel every hour； Richard
was putting off his affairs till Ethel should come home； Miss Bracy
and Blanche longed for her to relieve the schoolroom from the
children； Aubrey could not perform a lesson in comfort with any one
elsenever ended a sum without groaning for Ethel； and sometimes
rode to Abbotstoke for the mere purpose of appealing to her； in
short； no one could get on without her； and the doctor least of all。
Dr。 Spencer； an