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the daisy chain, or aspirations-第97章

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appearance。〃

〃A few outrageous…looking acts of giddiness that are so much grieved
over; may not be half so bad as the hundreds of wandering thoughts
that one forgets; because no one else can see them!〃 said Ethel。

Meanwhile; Harry and Mary were sitting twisted together into a sort
of bundle; on the same footstool; by Margaret's sofa。  Harry had
begged of her to hear him say the Catechism once more; and Mary had
joined with him in the repetition。  There was to be only one more
Sunday at home。  〃And that!〃 he said; and sighed。

Margaret knew what he meant; for the Feast was to be spread for those
newly admitted to share it。  She only said a caressing word of
affection。

〃I wonder when I shall have another chance;〃 said Harry。  〃If we
should get to Australia; or New Zealandbut then; perhaps; there
would be no Confirmation going on; and I might be worse by that
time。〃

〃Oh; you must not let that be!〃

〃Why; you see; if I can't be good here; with all this going on; what
shall I do among those fellows; away from all?〃

〃You will have one friend!〃

〃Mr。 Ernescliffe!  You are always thinking of him; Margaret; but
perhaps he may not go; and if he should; a lieutenant cannot do much
for a midshipman。  No; I thought; when I was reading with my father;
that somehow it might help me to do what it called putting away
childish thingsdon't you know?  I might be able to be stronger and
steadier; somehow。  And then; ififyou know; if I did tumble
overboard; or anything of that sort; there is that about thewhat
they will go to next Sunday; being necessary to salvation。〃

Harry laid down his head and cried; Margaret could not speak for
tears; and Mary was incoherently protesting against any notion of his
falling overboard。

〃It is generally necessary; Harry;〃 Margaret said at last〃not in
impossible cases。〃

〃Yes if it had been impossible; but it was not; if I had not been a
mad goose all this time; but when a bit of fun gets hold of me; I
can't think。  And if I am too bad for that; I am too bad forfor
and I shall never see mamma again!  Margaret; it almost makes me af
afraid to sail。〃

〃Harry; don't; don't talk so!〃 sobbed Mary。  〃Oh; do come to papa;
and let us beg and pray。  Take hold of my hand; and Margaret will beg
too; and when he sees how sorry you are; I am sure he will forgive;
and let you be confirmed。〃  She would have dragged him after her。

〃No; Mary;〃 said Harry; resisting her。 〃It is not that he does not
forgive。 You don't understand。  It is what is right。  And he cannot
help it; or make it right for me; if I am such a horrid wretch that I
can't keep grave thoughts in my head。  I might do it again after
that; just the same。〃

〃You have been grave enough of late;〃 said Mary。

〃This was enough to make me so;〃 said Harry; 〃but even at church;
since I came home; I have behaved ill!  I kicked Tom; to make him
look at old Levitt asleep; and then I went on; because he did not
like it。  I know I am too idle。〃

On the Tuesday; Dr。 May had said he would take Norman and Etheldred
to Mr。 Ramsden。  Ethel was gravely putting on her walking dress; when
she heard her father's voice calling Harry; and she started with a
joyful hope。

There; indeed; when she came downstairs; stood Harry; his cap in his
hand; and his face serious; but with a look on it that had as much
subdued joy as awe。

〃Dear; dear Harry! you are going with us then?〃

〃Yes; papa wrote to ask what Mr。 Wilmot thought; and he said〃

Harry broke off as his father advanced; and gave her the letter
itself to read。  Mr。 Wilmot answered that he certainly should not
refuse such a boy as Harry; on the proof of such entire penitence and
deep feeling。  Whether to bring him to the further privilege might be
another question; but; as far as the Confirmation was concerned; the
opinion was decided。

Norman and Ethel were too happy for words; as they went arm in arm
along the street; leaving their dear sailor to be leaned on by his
father。

Harry's sadness was gone; but he still was guarded and gentle during
the few days that followed; he seemed to have learned thought; and in
his gratitude for the privileges he had so nearly missed; to rate
them more highly than he might otherwise have done。  Indeed; the
doubt for the Sunday gave him a sense of probation。

The Confirmation day came。  Mr。 Rivers had asked that his daughter
might be with Miss May; and Ethel had therefore to be called for in
the Abbotstoke carriage; quite contrary to her wishes; as she had set
her heart on the walk to church with her father and brothers。  Flora
would not come; for fear of crowding Mr。 Rivers; who; with Mrs。
Larpent; accompanied his
darling。

〃Oh; Margaret;〃 said Flora; after putting her sister into the
carriage; 〃I wish we had put Ethel into a veil!  There is Meta all
white from head to foot; with such a veil! and Ethel; in her little
white cap; looks as if she might be Lucy Taylor; only not so pretty。〃

〃Mamma thought the best rule was to take the dress that needs least
attention from ourselves; and will be least noticed;〃 said Margaret。

〃There is Fanny Anderson gone by in the fly with a white veil on!〃
cried Mary; dashing in。

〃Then I am glad Ethel has not one;〃 said Flora。  Margaret looked
annoyed; but she had not found the means of checking Flora without
giving offence; and she could only call Mary and Blanche to order;
beg them to think of what the others were doing; and offer to read to
them a little tale on Confirmation。

Flora sat and worked; and Margaret; stealing a glance at her;
understood that; in her quiet way; she resented the implied reproof。
〃Making the children think me worldly and frivolous!〃 she thought;
〃as if Margaret did not know that I think and feel as much as any
reasonable person!〃

The party came home in due time; and after one kiss to Margaret;
given in silence; dispersed; for they could not yet talk of what had
passed。

Only Ethel; as she met Richard on the stairs; said; 〃Ritchie; do you
know what the bishop's text was?  'No man having put his hand to the
plough; and looking back; is fit for the kingdom of God。'〃

〃Yes?〃 said Richard interrogatively。

〃I thought it might be a voice to me;〃 said Ethel; 〃besides what it
says to all; about our Christian course。  It seems to tell me not to
be out of heart about all those vexations at Cocksmoor。  Is it not a
sort of putting our hand to the plough?〃

Dr。 May gave his own history of the Confirmation to Margaret。  〃It
was a beautiful thing to watch;〃 he said; 〃the faces of our own set。
Those four were really like a poem。  There was little Meta in her
snowy whiteness; looking like innocence itself; hardly knowing of
evil; or pain; or struggle; as that soft earnest voice made her vow
to be ready for it all; almost as unscathed and unconscious of trial;
as when they made it for her at her baptism; pretty little thingmay
she long be as happy。  And for our own Ethel; she looked as if she
was promising on and on; straight into eternity。  I heard her 'I do;'
dear child; and it was in such a tone as if she meant to be ever
doing。〃

〃And for the boys?〃

〃There was Norman grave and steadfast; as if he k
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