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chance of your Legation kidnapping you if it was properly worked？ 'Kong
Ho； the great Chinese Reformer； tells the Story of his Life；'there ought to
be money in it。 Are you a reformer or the leader of a secret society；
Kong？〃
〃On the contrary；〃 I replied； 〃we of our Line have ever been
unflinching in our loyalty to the dynasty of Tsing。〃
〃You ought to have known better； then。 It's a poor business being that
in your country nowadays。 Pity there are no bye…elections on the African
Labour Question； or you'd be snapped up for a procession。〃
To this I replied that although the idea of moving in a processional
triumph would readily ensnare the minds of the light and fantastic； I
should prefer some more literary occupation； submissively adding that in
such a case I would not stiffen my joints against the most menial lot； even
that of blending my voice in a laudatory chorus； or of carrying official
pronouncements about the walls of the city； for it is said with justice； 〃The
starving man does not peel his melon； nor do the parched first wipe round
the edges of the proffered cup。〃
〃If you've set your mind on something literary；〃 said Beveledge
confidently； 〃you have every chance of finishing up in a chorus or carrying
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printed placards about the streets； certainly。 When it comes to that； look
me up in Eastcheap。〃 With this encouraging assurance of my ultimate
success he left me； and rejoicing that I had not fallen into the snare of
opposing a written destiny； I sought the literary quarters of the city。 *
When this person has been able to write of any custom or facet of
existence here in a strain of conscientious esteem； he has not hesitated to
dip his brush deeply into the inkpot。 Reverting backwards； this barbarian
enactment of not permitting those who from any cause have decided upon
spending the night in a philosophical abstraction to repose upon the public
seats about the swards and open spaces is not conceived in a mood of
affable toleration。 Nevertheless there are deserted places beyond the
furthest limits of the city where a more amiable full…face is shown。 On the
eleventh day of this one's determination to sustain himself by the exercise
of his literary style； he was journeying about sunset towards one of these
spots； subduing the grosser instincts of mankind by reviewing the wisdom
of the sublime Lao Ch'un； who decided that heat and cold； pain and fatigue；
and mental distress； have no real existence； and are therefore amenable to
logical disproof； while the cravings of hunger and thirst are merely the
superfluous attributes of a former and lower state of existence； when a
passer…by； who for some distance had been alternately advancing before
and remaining behind； matched his footsteps into mine。
〃Whichee way walk…go； John； eh？〃 said this unfortunate being； who
appeared to be suffering from a laborious deformity of speech。 〃Allee
samee load me。 Chin…chin。〃 Filled with compassion for one who evidently
found himself alone in a strange land； in the absence of his more highly…
accomplished companion； unable to indicate his wants and requirements to
those about him； I regretfully admitted that I had not chanced to encounter
that John whose wandering footsteps he sought； and to indicate； by not
leaving him abruptly； that I maintained a sympathetic concern over his
welfare； I pointed out to him the exceptional brilliance of the approaching
night； adding that I myself was then directing a course towards a certain
spacious Heath； a few li distant in the north。
〃Sing…dance tomollow； then？〃 he said； with a condensed air of general
disappointment。 〃Chop…chop in a pay look…see show on HamHamstloh
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THE MIRROR OF KONG HO
damme！ on 'Ampstead 'Eath？ Booked up； eh； John？〃
Gradually convinced that it was becoming necessary to readjust the
significance of the incident； I replied that I had no intention of partaking of
chops or food of any variety in an erected tent； but merely of passing the
night in an intellectual seclusion。
〃Oh；〃 said the one who was walking by my side； regarding my
garments with engaging attention； and at the same time appearing to
regain an unruffled speech as though the other had been an assumed
device； 〃I understandthe Blue Sky Hotel。 Well； I've stayed there once or
twice myself。 A bit down on your uppers； eh？〃
〃Assuredly this person may perchance lay his upper parts down for a
short space of time；〃 I admitted； when I had traced out the symbolism of
the words。 〃As it is humanely written in The Books； 'Sleep and suicide are
the free refuges equally of the innocent and the guilty。'〃
〃Oh； come now； don't；〃 exclaimed the energetic person； striking
himself together by means of his two hands。 〃It's sinful to talk about
suicide the day before bank holiday。 Why； my only Somali warrior has
vamoosed with his full make…up； and the Magnetic Girl too； and I never
thought of suicideonly whether to turn my old woman into a Veiled
Beauty of the Harem or a Hairy Lama from Tibet。〃
Not absolutely grasping the emergency； yet in a spirit of inoffensive
cordiality I remarked that the alternative was insufferably perplexing；
while he continued。
〃Then I spotted you； and in a flash I got an idea that ought to take and
turn out really great if you'll come in。 Now follow this： Missionary's tent
in the wilds of Pekin。 Domestic interior by lamp…light。 Missionary （me）
reading evening paper； missionary's wife （the missus） making tea； and
between times singing to keep the small pet goat quiet （small goat； a
pillow； horsecloth； and pocket…handkerchief）。 Breaks down singing； sobs；
and says she feels a strange all…over presentiment。 Missionary admits
being a bit fluffed himself； and lets out about a notice signed in blood that
he's seen in the city。〃
〃Carried upon a pole？〃 this person demanded； feeling that something
of a literary nature might yet be wrested into