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after you have done such a thing？
Who lit the lilacs； and which end up do they hang？ When did larches
begin to flame； and who set out the pomegranates in that canyon？
What are deciduous flowers； and do they always 〃bloom in the fall；
tra la〃？
I have been making myself obnoxious to various people by demanding
their opinion of that paragraph without telling them the name of the
author。 They say； 〃Very well done。〃 〃The alliteration is so
pretty。〃 〃What's an oesophagus； a bird？〃 〃What's it all mean；
anyway？〃 I tell them it means Mark Twain； and that an oesophagus is
a kind of swallow。 Am I right？ Or is it a gull？ Or a gullet？
Hereafter if you must write such things won't you please be so kind
as to label them？
Very sincerely yours；
ALLETTA F。 DEAN。
Mark Twain to Miss Dean：
Don't you give that oesophagus away again or I'll never trust you
with another privacy！
So many wrote； that Clemens finally felt called upon to make public
confession； and as one searching letter had been mailed from Springfield；
Massachusetts； he made his reply through the Republican of that city。
After some opening comment he said：
I published a short story lately & it was in that that I put the
oesophagus。 I will say privately that I expected it to bother some
peoplein fact； that was the intentionbut the harvest has been
larger than I was calculating upon。 The oesophagus has gathered in
the guilty and the innocent alike； whereas I was only fishing for
the innocentthe innocent and confiding。
He quoted a letter from a schoolmaster in the Philippines who thought the
passage beautiful with the exception of the curious creature which 〃slept
upon motionless wings。〃 Said Clemens：
Do you notice？ Nothing in the paragraph disturbed him but that one
word。 It shows that that paragraph was most ably constructed for
the deception it was intended to put upon the reader。 It was my
intention that it should read plausibly； and it is now plain that it
does； it was my intention that it should be emotional and touching；
and you see yourself that it fetched this public instructor。 Alas！
if I had but left that one treacherous word out I should have
scored； scored everywhere； and the paragraph would have slidden
through every reader's sensibilities like oil and left not a
suspicion behind。
The other sample inquiry is from a professor in a New England
university。 It contains one naughty word （which I cannot bear to
suppress）； but he is not in the theological department； so it is no
harm：
〃DEAR MR。 CLEMENS；'Far in the empty sky a solitary oesophagus
slept upon motionless wing。'
〃It is not often I get a chance to read much periodical literature；
but I have just gone through at this belated period； with much
gratification and edification； your 'Double…Barrelled Detective
Story。'
〃But what in hell is an oesophagus？ I keep one myself； but it never
sleeps in the air or anywhere else。 My profession is to deal with
words； and oesophagus interested me the moment I lighted upon it。
But； as a companion of my youth used to say； 'I'll be eternally； co…
eternally cussed' if I can make it out。 Is it a joke or am I an
ignoramus？〃
Between you and me； I was almost ashamed of having fooled that man；
but for pride's sake I was not going to say so。 I wrote and told
him it was a jokeand that is what I am now saying to my
Springfield inquirer。 And I told him to carefully read the whole
paragraph and he would find not a vestige of sense in any detail of
it。 This also I recommend to my Springfield inquirer。
I have confessed。 I am sorrypartially。 I will not do so any
morefor the present。 Don't ask me any more questions； let the
oesophagus have a reston his same old motionless wing。
He wrote Twichell that the story had been a six…day 'tour de force'；
twenty…five thousand words； and he adds：
How long it takes a literary seed to sprout sometimes！ This seed was
planted in your house many years ago when you sent me to bed with a
book not heard of by me until thenSherlock Holmes 。 。 。 。
I've done a grist of writing here this summer； but not for
publication soon； if ever。 I did write two satisfactory articles
for early print； but I've burned one of them & have buried the other
in my large box of posthumous stuff。 I've got stacks of literary
remains piled up there。
Early in August Clemens went with H。 H。 Rogers in his yacht Kanawha on a
cruise to New Brunswick and Nova Scotia。 Rogers had made up a party；
including ex…Speaker Reed； Dr。 Rice； and Col。 A。 G。 Paine。 Young Harry
Rogers also made one of the party。 Clemens kept a log of the cruise；
certain entries of which convey something of its spirit。 On the 11th； at
Yarmouth； he wrote：
Fog…bound。 The garrison went ashore。 Officers visited the yacht in
the evening & said an anvil had been missed。 Mr。 Rogers paid for
the anvil。
August 13th。 There is a fine picture…gallery here； the sheriff
photographed the garrison； with the exception of Harry （Rogers） and
Mr。 Clemens。
August 14th。 Upon complaint of Mr。 Reed another dog was procured。
He said he had been a sailor all his life； and considered it
dangerous to trust a ship to a dog…watch with only one dog in it。
Poker； for a change。
August 15th。 To Rockland； Maine； in the afternoon； arriving about 6
P。M。 In the night Dr。 Rice baited the anchor with his winnings &
caught a whale 90 feet long。 He said so himself。 It is thought
that if there had been another witness like Dr。 Rice the whale would
have been longer。
August 16th。 We could have had a happy time in Bath but for the
interruptions caused by people who wanted Mr。 Reed to explain votes
of the olden time or give back the money。 Mr。 Rogers recouped them。
Another anvil missed。 The descendant of Captain Kidd is the only
person who does not blush for these incidents。 Harry and Mr。
Clemens blush continually。 It is believed that if the rest of the
garrison were like these two the yacht would be welcome everywhere
instead of being quarantined by the police in all the ports。 Mr。
Clemens & Harry have attracted a great deal of attention； & men have
expressed a resolve to turn over a new leaf & copy after them from
this out。
Evening。 Judge Cohen came over from another yacht to pay his
respects to Harry and Mr。 Clemens； he having heard of their
reputation from the clergy of these coasts。 He was invited by the
gang to play poker apparently as a courtesy & in a spirit of seeming
hospitality； he not knowing them & taking it all at par。 Mr。 Rogers
lent him clothes to go home in。
August 17th。 The Reformed Statesman growlin