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house； some storm to break the windows above； or a summons to
the Admiral’s Shoemaker below。—Fortune favoured them all
however in another way—in a gentle； steady rain—just happily set
in as the Admiral returned & Anne rose to go。—She was earnestly
invited to stay dinner；—a note was dispatched to Camden Place—
and she staid；—staid till 10 at night。 And during that time； the
Husband & wife； either by the wife’s contrivance； or by simply
going on in their usual way； were frequently out of the room
together—gone up stairs to hear a noise； or down stairs to settle
their accounts； or upon the Landing place to trim the Lamp。—And
these precious moments were turned to so good an account that
all the most anxious feelings of the past were gone through。—
Before they parted at night； Anne had the felicity of being assured
in the first place that—（so far from being altered for the worse！）—
she had gained inexpressibly in personal Loveliness； & that as to
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Character—her’s was now fixed on his Mind as Perfection itself—
maintaining the just Medium of Fortitude & Gentleness；—that he
had never ceased to love & prefer her； though it had been only at
Uppercross that he had learn’t to do her Justice—& only at Lyme
that he had begun to understand his own sensations；—that at
Lyme he had received Lessons of more than one kind；—the
passing admiration of Mr Elliot had at least roused him； and the
scenes on the Cobb & at Capt。 Harville’s had fixed her
superiority。—In his preceding attempts to attach himself to Louisa
Musgrove； （the attempts of Anger & Pique）—he protested that he
had continually felt the impossibility of really caring for Louisa；
though till that day； till the leisure for reflection which followed it；
he had not understood the perfect excellence of the Mind； with
which Louisa’s could so ill bear a comparison； or the perfect； the
unrivalled hold it possessed over his own。—There he had learnt to
distinguish between the steadiness of Principle & the Obstinacy of
Self…will； between the Darings of Heedlessness； & the Resolution
of a collected Mind—there he had seen everything to exalt in his
estimation the Woman he had lost； & there begun to deplore the
pride； the folly； the madness of resentment which had kept him
from trying to regain her； when thrown in his way。 From that
period to the present had his penance been the most severe。—He
had no sooner been free from the horror & remorse attending the
first few days of Louisa’s accident； no sooner begun to feel himself
alive again； than he had begun to feel himself though alive； not at
liberty。—He found that he was considered by his friend Harville；
as an engaged Man。 The Harvilles entertained not a doubt of a
mutual attachment between him & Louisa—and though this to a
degree； was contradicted instantly—it yet made him feel that
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perhaps by her family； by everybody； by herself even； the same
idea might be held—and that he was not free in honour—though；
if such were to be the conclusion； too free alas！ in Heart。—He had
never thought justly on this subject before—he had not sufficiently
considered that his excessive Intimacy at Uppercross must have
its danger of ill consequence in many ways； and that while trying
whether he could attach himself to either of the Girls； he might be
exciting unpleasant reports； if not； raising unrequited regard！—He
found； too late； that he had entangled himself—and that precisely
as he became thoroughly satisfied of his not caring for Louisa at
all； he must regard himself as bound to her； if her feelings for him；
were what the Harvilles supposed。—It determined him to leave
Lyme—& await her perfect recovery elsewhere。 He would gladly
weaken； by any fair means； whatever sentiments or speculations
concerning him might exist； and he went therefore into
Shropshire meaning after a while； to return to the Crofts at
Kellynch； & act as he found requisite。—He had remained in
Shropshire； lamenting the Blindness of his own Pride； & the
Blunders of his own Calculations； till at once released from Louisa
by the astonishing felicity of her engagement with Benwick。 Bath；
Bath—had instantly followed； in Thought； & not long after； in fact。
To Bath； to arrive with Hope； to be torn by Jealousy at the first
sight of Mr E。； to experience all the changes of each at the Concert；
to be miserable by this morning’s circumstantial report； to be now；
more happy than Language could express； or any heart but his
own be capable of。
He was very eager & very delightful in the description of what
he had felt at the Concert。—The Evening seemed to have been
made up of exquisite moments；—the moment of her stepping
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forward in the Octagon Room to speak to him—the moment of Mr
E。’s appearing & tearing her away； & one or two subsequent
moments； marked by returning hope； or increasing Despondence；
were all dwelt on with energy。 ‘To see you； cried he； in the midst of
those who could not be my well…wishers； to see your Cousin close
by you—conversing & smiling—& feel all the horrible Eligibilities
& Proprieties of the Match！—to consider it as the certain wish of
every being who could hope to influence you—even； if your own
feelings were reluctant； or indifferent—to consider what powerful
supports would be his！—Was not it enough to make the fool of me；
which my behaviour expressed？—How could I look on without
agony？—Was not the very sight of the Friend who sat behind
you？—was not the recollection of what had been—the knowledge
of her Influence—the indelible； immoveable Impressio