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Jane Austen： Sanditon 9
impression which the sort of wild goose…chace you find me in； may
have given rise to—allow me to tell you who we are。 My name is
Parker。—Mr。 Parker of Sanditon； this Lady； my wife Mrs。
Parker。—We are on our road home from London；—My name
perhaps—tho’ I am by no means the first of my Family； holding
Landed Property in the Parish of Sanditon； may be unknown at
this distance from the Coast—but Sanditon itself—everybody has
heard of Sanditon；—the favourite—for a young and rising
Bathing…place； certainly the favourite spot of all that are to be
found along the coast of Sussex；—the most favoured by Nature；
and promising to be the most chosen by Man。’—‘Yes—I have
heard of Sanditon。’ replied Mr。 H。—‘Every five years； one hears of
some new place or other starting up by the Sea； and growing the
fashion。—How they can half of them be filled； is the wonder！
Where People can be found with Money or Time to go to them！—
Bad things for a Country；—sure to raise the price of Provisions
and make the poor good for nothing—as I dare say you find； Sir。’
‘Not at all Sir； not at all’—cried Mr。 Parker eagerly。 ‘Quite the
contrary I assure you。—A common idea—but a mistaken one。 It
may apply to your large； overgrown Places； like Brighton； or
Worthing； or East Bourne—but not to a small Village like
Sanditon； precluded by its size from experiencing any of the evils
of Civilization； while the growth of the place； the Buildings； the
Nursery Grounds； the demand for every thing； and the sure resort
of the very best Company； those regular； steady； private Families
of thorough Gentility and Character； who are a blessing
everywhere； excite the industry of the Poor and diffuse comfort
and improvement among them of every sort。—No Sir； I assure
you； Sanditon is not a place—’ ‘I do not mean to take exceptions to
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Jane Austen： Sanditon 10
any place in particular Sir；’ answered Mr。 H。—‘I only think our
Coast is too full of them altogether—But had we not better try to
get you’—‘Our Coast too full’—repeated Mr。 P。—‘On that point
perhaps we may not totally disagree；—at least there are enough。
Our Coast is abundant enough； it demands no more。—Every
body’s Taste and every body’s finances may be suited。 And those
good people who are trying to add to the number； are in my
opinion excessively absurd； and must soon find themselves the
Dupes of their own fallacious Calculations。—Such a place as
Sanditon Sir； I may say was wanted； was called for。—Nature had
marked it out—had spoken in most intelligible Characters。 The
finest； purest Sea Breeze on the Coast—acknowledged to be so—
Excellent Bathing—fine hard Sand—Deep Water ten yards from
the Shore—no Mud—no Weeds—no slimey rocks—Never was
there a place more palpably designed by Nature for the resort of
the Invalid—the very Spot which Thousands seemed in need of。—
The most desirable distance from London！ One complete；
measured mile nearer than East Bourne。 Only conceive Sir； the
advantage of saving a whole Mile； in a long Journey。 But
Brinshore Sir； which I dare say you have in your eye—the
attempts of two or three speculating People about Brinshore； this
last Year； to raise that paltry Hamlet； lying； as it does between a
stagnant marsh； a bleak Moor and the constant effluvia of a ridge
of putrifying sea weed； can end in nothing but their own
Disappointment。 What in the name of Common Sense is to
recommend Brinshore？—A most insalubrious Air—Roads
proverbially detestable—Water Brackish beyond example；
impossible to get a good dish of Tea within three miles of the
place—and as for the Soil—it is so cold and ungrateful that it can
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Jane Austen： Sanditon 11
hardly be made to yield a Cabbage。—Depend upon it Sir； that this
is a faithful Description of Brinshore—not in the smallest degree
exaggerated—and if you have heard it differently spoken of—’ ‘Sir
I never heard it spoken of in my Life before；’ said Mr。 Heywood。 ‘I
did not know there was such a place in the World。’ ‘You did not！—
There my Dear—（turning with exultation to his Wife）—you see
how it is。 So much for the Celebrity of Brinshore！—This
Gentleman did not know there was such a place in the World。—
Why； in truth Sir； I fancy we may apply to Brinshore； that line of
the Poet Cowper in his description of the religious Cottager； as
opposed to Voltaire—“She； never heard of half a mile from
home。”’—‘With all my Heart Sir—Apply any Verses you like to it—
But I want to see something applied to your Leg—and I am sure
by your Lady’s countenance that she is quite of my opinion and
thinks it a pity to lose any more time—And here come my Girls to
speak for themselves and their Mother （two or three genteel
looking young Women followed by as many Maid servants； were
now seen issueing from the House）—I began to wonder the Bustle
should not have reached them。—A thing of this kind soon makes a
Stir in a lonely place like ours。—Now Sir； let us see how you can
be best conveyed into the House。’—The young Ladies approached
and said every thing that was proper to recommend their Father’s
offers； and in an unaffected manner calculated to make the
Strangers easy。—And as Mrs。 P。 was exceedingly anxious for
relief—and her Husband by this time； not much less disposed for
it—a very few civil scruples were enough—especially