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就把日记完全忘掉了。她翻着日记本,眼光落在两年前寒假后回到金陵女子学院时写的一篇:
Feb。20
While the handkerchiefs were still waving “farewells”to Mom and Dongzi(Where was Dad? Oh; he was in Shanghai); the unkind train sped along steadily toward Nanking。 Traveling has always been exciting to me but I have always dreaded bidding farewell to homefolk。 It is always such a heavy heart event。 At fiveo’clock we were finally at the journey’s end; out of the carriage; and within college walls。
Stepping into the dorm; I found a pile of letters waiting on my desk。 At suppertime familiar faces met each other with mirth and friendliness。 Bath taken and bed made; I threw myself drowsily down; the stillness of the room seemed to have sympathy with me ……“还在向妈妈和冬子(爸爸在哪儿呢?哦,他在上海)挥动手绢告别,无情的火车已经开始向南京奔驰。旅行对我来说一直充满着刺激,可我总也怕与亲人告别的场面。总是那么让人心情沉重。下午5点钟,我们终于到达了旅途的终点,从车厢里出来,来到大学的院墙内。跨进宿舍楼,我看见一摞信件在桌子上等着我。晚餐的时候,熟悉的面孔相互招呼着,充满了欢乐和友谊。洗完澡,铺好床,我就瞌睡不已,一头倒在床上,房间里静悄悄的,好像和我一样的感觉……”
海伦为当时自己英文的拘谨、生硬感到尴尬。话说回来,那不是很自然的吗?她直到中学才开始学习英文……
别给自己找借口吧。海伦吃吃地笑了,翻到下一篇日记:
Feb。 22
My alarm clock woke me early。 A solemn stillness reigned over the dormitory—“Autumn Sound Hall。”The rest of the girls were still abed。 The birds singing gaily gave me peace of mind。 I rose immediately; washed and dressed。 At seven o’clock I took a morning walk up on the hill to enjoy a deep intake of morning air。 The misty Purple Mountain to the east was basking in the radiant glory of a rising sun; the charm from the skies seemed to melt my soul though this appearance is unseen and unrevealed。
The first chapel was conducted by the president; and the dean。 The classes were running on schedule。 I turned over the new leaf of my schoolwork with this motto for my guide:
“Whatever I have tried to do in life;
I have tried with all my heart to do well;
Whatever I have devoted myself to I have devoted myself completely to;
In great aims and in small
I have always been thoroughly in earnest。” “闹钟很早就把我弄醒了,宿舍楼(“秋声楼”)一片沉重的寂静,其他的女孩子们还在床上。鸟儿轻快的歌唱让我心里感到宁静,我立即起床、洗漱、穿好衣服。七点钟的时候散步到山上,深吸一口,享受清晨空气的清新。东边朦朦胧胧的紫金山沐浴在冉冉升起的太阳的光芒中,来自万籁天空的美妙似乎融化了我的心灵,虽然足下的到来并没有人看见、并没有泄漏天机。
第一个礼拜式是由校长和教务主任主持的。所有的课都很准时。我为新学期新的一页写下这样的座右铭:
今生所做过的一切,
都是全身心投入;
今生所致力于的,
都是毫无保留的奉献;
无论宏伟、细微,
都是兢兢业业、一丝不苟。”
嗯……表达稍许流畅自如了。一个月后的一篇日记引起了她的兴趣:
March 25
The birds are chirping in the trees and bushes and spring seems to be well on her way。 It is the time for our youth of feeling to shout out to the youth of nature:Welcome!
The birds seem to favor our Ginling campus。 In a few more days or weeks; perhaps; magpies will be here making their roughstick nests on the top of campus buildings。 I saw quite a few of such nests on the top of the Science Hall and the Central Hall last spring。 Folks say magpies bring good; auspicious tidings to you when they sing on your treetops。 Will they be bringing any more tidings of joy to us; to Ginling this spring?Haven’t lots of good things happened to us already?
I have also seen doves or pigeons (what’s the difference; anyway?)twittering on top of one of the buildings or flying overhead。 Before I read the Bible; I didn’t know they were in any way special; but now; whenever I see them; I feel a kind of joy that words fail to describe。
And speaking of joy; I have to mention the skylark。 It is small; almost dark; and plainly dressed; but it is blessed with a sweet; clear note which it utters while soaring into the sky。 I have seen a few on the hill in the campus。 We Chinese sometimes call it “the messenger of heaven;”because its singing is so heavenly。 And what did Shelley say about the skylark?Oh; I’ll have to look it up later; something about the bird being a “blithe Spirit;”“a cloud of fire;”or “a star of Heaven?”Isn’t that something! “鸟儿在树丛中欢唱着,春姑娘似乎正翩然而至。此时此刻,我们充满情感的年轻人向大自然的年轻人高喊一声:欢迎!
鸟儿似乎尤其青睐我们金陵女院的校园。再过几天、或许几个礼拜,喜鹊就会在校园楼房顶上用草棒构筑自己的窝巢。去年春天我就在科学楼和中心楼顶上看见过这样的窝巢。人们说喜鹊在你们家的树头上欢歌时给你捎来喜庆、吉祥的音讯。今春,它们还会给我们、给金陵女院捎来更多的喜悦吗?我们学校不是已经好事不断吗?
我已经看见鸽子在楼顶上咕咕叫唱或者从天上飞过。读《圣经》以前,我不知道鸽子有什么特别,现在每次看见鸽子,总有股语言难以表达的喜悦的感觉。
说到喜悦,还得提到百灵鸟。它个小,颜色暗些,羽毛也很一般,可却天生一副甜润、清纯的嗓子,总是欢唱着飞向天空。在校园内的山上看见过几只。我们中国人有时把它叫作‘天使’,因为它的歌唱像是从天堂飘落而来的。雪莱是怎么描写百灵的?嗯,待会儿去查查,好像百灵鸟是‘欢乐的精灵’、‘一团火似的云’、‘天堂之鸟’等等,可了不得。”
她觉得自己的英文还不够平稳,一会儿热情迸发,一会儿格格楞楞,但总体来说是越来越好。是的,越来越好。
还有些日记抱怨教授布置的作业太多,“他们毫不在意我是否有时间学习,几乎每天都喜欢来个小测验什么的”,并希望要多组织俱乐部活动,还有讲圣诞节、春节庆祝活动、社会调查活动的。她就是在从事一项社会调查时认识伊娃和她的朋友宁宁的。
第五部分 1937年12月15日 礼拜三第28节 伊娃的身世
伊娃和宁宁年龄比她小不少。三人站在一起时构成的不是哆、、咪,而是哆、、发或哆、、嗦。伊娃比宁宁只大两岁,但很成熟,有过很多不幸的经历。她的眼睛里总是流露出某种忧郁,某种另一个世界的空灵。宁宁总是乐呵呵的,性格里充满了阳光。海伦总共也只见过宁宁五六次,却有一种早已相识的感觉。很多方面,宁宁是七八年前的海伦的再版。
上次伊娃带宁宁到校园来,好几位教授员工看见她们在一起,都禁不住问:
“她是你的妹妹吗?”
“当然喽!”海伦自豪地回答,脸上荡漾着快乐的笑容。
海伦在校园里时常能遇见伊娃,昨天她还来过海伦的寝室。难民中心比其他地方要安全些,该不会出事吧。
宁宁呢?最近没有宁宁的音讯,只知道她不愿意撇下外公,自己一人到难民中心来。
什么声音?模糊不清,好像有人喊叫的声音。她纵身下床,开门。
外面的声音——不,外面的嘈杂声更响、更清晰、更让人胆战心惊了。
她出了紫香楼,朝出事的方向跑去。是科学楼,两个日本兵正抬着一个挣扎着的女孩子到了边门。楼外有一群学校的职工和妇女难民,个个愤怒难捺,叫喊着“你们不许抢人!”
“怎么回事?”海伦气喘吁吁地问。
“伊娃给抢走了!”一个中年妇女焦急地说。
“什么?”
“两个日本兵把伊娃给绑架走了!”
晚了!做什么也无济于事了,日本兵已经把伊娃绑架到校园外,摩托车轰然启动把她带走了!
可怜的伊娃!她会遭遇什么样的不幸?海伦觉得如果自己不回寝室,如果她再跑快一点,也许能把伊娃救下来。他们为什么要抢伊娃?他们真是一群强盗啊!23》
她从来没有见过这么大、这么亮的浴缸,里面装满这么多洁净透亮、轻轻波动的水,蒸汽紧张不安地升腾着……
浴缸雪白的瓷面给人一丝凉爽的感觉,可是�