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For they have a way of teaching languages in Germany that is not
our way； and the consequence is that when the German youth or
maiden leaves the gymnasium or high school at fifteen； 〃it〃 （as in
Germany one conveniently may say） can understand and speak the
tongue it has been learning。 In England we have a method that for
obtaining the least possible result at the greatest possible
expenditure of time and money is perhaps unequalled。 An English
boy who has been through a good middle…class school in England can
talk to a Frenchman； slowly and with difficulty； about female
gardeners and aunts； conversation which； to a man possessed perhaps
of neither； is liable to pall。 Possibly； if he be a bright
exception； he may be able to tell the time； or make a few guarded
observations concerning the weather。 No doubt he could repeat a
goodly number of irregular verbs by heart； only； as a matter of
fact； few foreigners care to listen to their own irregular verbs；
recited by young Englishmen。 Likewise he might be able to remember
a choice selection of grotesquely involved French idioms； such as
no modern Frenchman has ever heard or understands when he does
hear。
The explanation is that； in nine cases out of ten； he has learnt
French from an 〃Ahn's First…Course。〃 The history of this famous
work is remarkable and instructive。 The book was originally
written for a joke； by a witty Frenchman who had resided for some
years in England。 He intended it as a satire upon the
conversational powers of British society。 From this point of view
it was distinctly good。 He submitted it to a London publishing
firm。 The manager was a shrewd man。 He read the book through。
Then he sent for the author。
〃This book of yours；〃 said he to the author； 〃is very clever。 I
have laughed over it myself till the tears came。〃
〃I am delighted to hear you say so；〃 replied the pleased Frenchman。
〃I tried to be truthful without being unnecessarily offensive。〃
〃It is most amusing；〃 concurred the manager； 〃and yet published as
a harmless joke； I feel it would fail。〃
The author's face fell。
〃Its humour；〃 proceeded the manager； 〃would be denounced as forced
and extravagant。 It would amuse the thoughtful and intelligent；
but from a business point of view that portion of the public are
never worth considering。 But I have an idea；〃 continued the
manager。 He glanced round the room to be sure they were alone；
and leaning forward sunk his voice to a whisper。 〃My notion is to
publish it as a serious work for the use of schools！〃
The author stared； speechless。
〃I know the English schoolman；〃 said the manager； 〃this book will
appeal to him。 It will exactly fit in with his method。 Nothing
sillier； nothing more useless for the purpose will he ever
discover。 He will smack his lips over the book； as a puppy licks
up blacking。〃
The author； sacrificing art to greed； consented。 They altered the
title and added a vocabulary； but left the book otherwise as it
was。
The result is known to every schoolboy。 〃Ahn〃 became the palladium
of English philological education。 If it no longer retains its
ubiquity； it is because something even less adaptable to the object
in view has been since invented。
Lest； in spite of all； the British schoolboy should obtain； even
from the like of 〃Ahn；〃 some glimmering of French； the British
educational method further handicaps him by bestowing upon him the
assistance of； what is termed in the prospectus； 〃A native
gentleman。〃 This native French gentleman； who； by…the…by； is
generally a Belgian； is no doubt a most worthy person； and can； it
is true； understand and speak his own language with tolerable
fluency。 There his qualifications cease。 Invariably he is a man
with a quite remarkable inability to teach anybody anything。
Indeed； he would seem to be chosen not so much as an instructor as
an amuser of youth。 He is always a comic figure。 No Frenchman of
a dignified appearance would be engaged for any English school。 If
he possess by nature a few harmless peculiarities； calculated to
cause merriment； so much the more is he esteemed by his employers。
The class naturally regards him as an animated joke。 The two to
four hours a week that are deliberately wasted on this ancient
farce； are looked forward to by the boys as a merry interlude in an
otherwise monotonous existence。 And then； when the proud parent
takes his son and heir to Dieppe merely to discover that the lad
does not know enough to call a cab； he abuses not the system； but
its innocent victim。
I confine my remarks to French； because that is the only language
we attempt to teach our youth。 An English boy who could speak
German would be looked down upon as unpatriotic。 Why we waste time
in teaching even French according to this method I have never been
able to understand。 A perfect unacquaintance with a language is
respectable。 But putting aside comic journalists and lady
novelists； for whom it is a business necessity； this smattering of
French which we are so proud to possess only serves to render us
ridiculous。
In the German school the method is somewhat different。 One hour
every day is devoted to the same language。 The idea is not to give
the lad time between each lesson to forget what he learned at the
last； the idea is for him to get on。 There is no comic foreigner
provided for his amusement。 The desired language is taught by a
German school…master who knows it inside and out as thoroughly as
he knows his own。 Maybe this system does not provide the German
youth with that perfection of foreign accent for which the British
tourist is in every land remarkable； but it has other advantages。
The boy does not call his master 〃froggy；〃 or 〃sausage；〃 nor
prepare for the French or English hour any exhibition of homely wit
whatever。 He just sits there； and for his own sake tries to learn
that foreign tongue with as little trouble to everybody concerned
as possible。 When he has left school he can talk； not about
penknives and gardeners and aunts merely； but about European
politics； history； Shakespeare； or the musical glasses； according
to the turn the conversation may take。
Viewing the German people from an Anglo…Saxon standpoint； it may be
that in this book I shall find occasion to criticise them： but on
the other hand there is much that we might learn from them； and in
the matter of common sense； as applied to education； they can give
us ninety…nine in a hundred and beat us with one hand。
The beautiful wood of the Eilenriede bounds Hanover on the south
and west； and here occurred a sad drama in which Harris took a
prominent part。
We were riding our machines through this wood on the Monday
afternoon in the company of many other cyclists； for it is a
favourite resort with the Hanoverians on a sunny afternoon； and its
shady pathways are then filled with happy； thoughtless folk。 Among
them rode a young and beautiful girl on a machine that was new。
She was evidently a novice on the bicycle。 One felt instinctively
that there would come a moment when she would require help； and
Harris； with his accustomed chivalry； suggested we should keep ne