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Harris； with his accustomed chivalry； suggested we should keep near
her。 Harris； as he occasionally explains to George and to myself；
has daughters of his own； or； to speak more correctly； a daughter；
who as the years progress will no doubt cease practising catherine
wheels in the front garden； and will grow up into a beautiful and
respectable young lady。 This naturally gives Harris an interest in
all beautiful girls up to the age of thirty…five or thereabouts；
they remind him； so he says； of home。
We had ridden for about two miles； when we noticed； a little ahead
of us in a space where five ways met； a man with a hose； watering
the roads。 The pipe； supported at each joint by a pair of tiny
wheels； writhed after him as he moved； suggesting a gigantic…worm；
from whose open neck； as the man； gripping it firmly in both hands；
pointing it now this way； and now that； now elevating it； now
depressing it； poured a strong stream of water at the rate of about
a gallon a second。
〃What a much better method than ours；〃 observed Harris；
enthusiastically。 Harris is inclined to be chronically severe on
all British institutions。 〃How much simpler； quicker； and more
economical！ You see； one man by this method can in five minutes
water a stretch of road that would take us with our clumsy
lumbering cart half an hour to cover。〃
George； who was riding behind me on the tandem； said； 〃Yes； and it
is also a method by which with a little carelessness a man could
cover a good many people in a good deal less time than they could
get out of the way。〃
George； the opposite to Harris； is British to the core。 I remember
George quite patriotically indignant with Harris once for
suggesting the introduction of the guillotine into England。
〃It is so much neater；〃 said Harris。
〃I don't care if it is；〃 said George； 〃I'm an Englishman； hanging
is good enough for me。〃
〃Our water…cart may have its disadvantages；〃 continued George； 〃but
it can only make you uncomfortable about the legs； and you can
avoid it。 This is the sort of machine with which a man can follow
you round the corner and upstairs。〃
〃It fascinates me to watch them；〃 said Harris。 〃They are so
skilful。 I have seen a man from the corner of a crowded square in
Strassburg cover every inch of ground； and not so much as wet an
apron string。 It is marvellous how they judge their distance。
They will send the water up to your toes； and then bring it over
your head so that it falls around your heels。 They can〃
〃Ease up a minute；〃 said George。 I said： 〃Why？〃
He said： 〃I am going to get off and watch the rest of this show
from behind a tree。 There may be great performers in this line； as
Harris says； this particular artist appears to me to lack
something。 He has just soused a dog； and now he's busy watering a
sign…post。 I am going to wait till he has finished。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 said Harris； 〃he won't wet you。〃
〃That is precisely what I am going to make sure of；〃 answered
George； saying which he jumped off； and； taking up a position
behind a remarkably fine elm； pulled out and commenced filling his
pipe。
I did not care to take the tandem on by myself； so I stepped off
and joined him； leaving the machine against a tree。 Harris shouted
something or other about our being a disgrace to the land that gave
us birth； and rode on。
The next moment I heard a woman's cry of distress。 Glancing round
the stem of the tree； I perceived that it proceeded from the young
and elegant lady before mentioned； whom； in our interest concerning
the road…waterer； we had forgotten。 She was riding her machine
steadily and straightly through a drenching shower of water from
the hose。 She appeared to be too paralysed either to get off or
turn her wheel aside。 Every instant she was becoming wetter； while
the man with the hose； who was either drunk or blind； continued to
pour water upon her with utter indifference。 A dozen voices yelled
imprecations upon him； but he took no heed whatever。
Harris； his fatherly nature stirred to its depths； did at this
point what； under the circumstances； was quite the right and proper
thing to do。 Had he acted throughout with the same coolness and
judgment he then displayed； he would have emerged from that
incident the hero of the hour； instead of； as happened； riding away
followed by insult and threat。 Without a moment's hesitation he
spurted at the man； sprang to the ground； and； seizing the hose by
the nozzle； attempted to wrest it away。
What he ought to have done； what any man retaining his common sense
would have done the moment he got his hands upon the thing； was to
turn off the tap。 Then he might have played foot…ball with the
man； or battledore and shuttlecock as he pleased； and the twenty or
thirty people who had rushed forward to assist would have only
applauded。 His idea； however； as he explained to us afterwards；
was to take away the hose from the man； and； for punishment； turn
it upon the fool himself。 The waterman's idea appeared to be the
same； namely； to retain the hose as a weapon with which to soak
Harris。 Of course； the result was that； between them； they soused
every dead and living thing within fifty yards； except themselves。
One furious man； too drenched to care what more happened to him；
leapt into the arena and also took a hand。 The three among them
proceeded to sweep the compass with that hose。 They pointed it to
heaven； and the water descended upon the people in the form of an
equinoctial storm。 They pointed it downwards； and sent the water
in rushing streams that took people off their feet； or caught them
about the waist line； and doubled them up。
Not one of them would loosen his grip upon the hose； not one of
them thought to turn the water off。 You might have concluded they
were struggling with some primeval force of nature。 In forty…five
seconds； so George said； who was timing it； they had swept that
circus bare of every living thing except one dog； who； dripping
like a water nymph； rolled over by the force of water； now on this
side； now on that； still gallantly staggered again and again to its
feet to bark defiance at what it evidently regarded as the powers
of hell let loose。
Men and women left their machines upon the ground； and flew into
the woods。 From behind every tree of importance peeped out wet；
angry heads。
At last； there arrived upon the scene one man of sense。 Braving
all things； he crept to the hydrant； where still stood the iron
key； and screwed it down。 And then from forty trees began to creep
more or less soaked human beings； each one with something to say。
At first I fell to wondering whether a stretcher or a clothes
basket would be the more useful for the conveyance of Harris's
remains back to the hotel。 I consider that George's promptness on
that occasion saved Harris's life。 Being dry； and therefore able
to run quicker； he was there before the crowd。 Harris was for
explaining things； but George cut him short。
〃You get on that；〃 said George； handing him his bicycle； 〃and go。
They don't know we belong to you； and you may trust us implicitly
not to reveal the secret。 We'll hang a