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e; and it does seem a bit of a shame; but more shame for the miser who hoards in his cellar what was meant for mankind! Come; Bunny; lead the way。 This baby is worth nursing。 It would break my heart if anything happened to it now!〃
So we celebrated my first night in the furnished house; and I slept beyond belief; slept as I never was to sleep there again。 But it was strange to hear the milkman in the early morning; and the postman knocking his way along the street an hour later; and to be passed over by one destroying angel after another。 I had come down early enough; and watched through the drawing…room blind the cleansing of all。 the steps in the street but ours。 Yet Raffles had evidently been up some time; the house seemed far purer than overnight as though he had managed to air it room by room; and from the one with the gas…stove there came a frizzling sound that fattened the heart。
I only would I had the pen to do justice to the week I spent in…doors on Campden Hill! It might make amusing reading; the reality for me was far removed from the realm of amusement。 Not that I was denied many a laugh of suppressed heartiness when Raffles and I were together。 But half our time we very literally saw nothing of each other。 I need not say whose fault that was。 He would be quiet; he was in ridiculous and offensive earnest about his egregious Cure。 Kinglake he would read by the hour together; day and night; by the hanging lamp; lying up…stairs on the best bed。 There was daylight enough for me in the drawing…room below; and there I would sit immersed in criminous tomes weakly fascinated until I shivered and shook in my stocking soles。 Often I longed to do something hysterically desperate; to rouse Raffles and bring the street about our ears; once I did bring him about mine by striking a single note on the piano; with the soft pedal down。 His neglect of me seemed wanton at the time。 I have long realized that he was only wise to maintain silence at the expense of perilous amenities; and as fully justified in those secret and solitary sorties which made bad blood in my veins。 He was far cleverer than I at getting in and out; but even had I been his match for stealth and wariness; my company would have doubled every risk。 I admit now that he treated me with quite as much sympathy as common caution would permit。 But at the time I took it so badly as to plan a small revenge。
What with his flourishing beard and the increasing shabbiness of the only suit he had brought with him to the house; there was no denying that Raffles had now the advantage of a permanent disguise。 That was another of his excuses for leaving me as he did; and it was the one I was determined to remove。 On a morning; therefore; when I awoke to find him flown again; I proceeded to execute a plan which I had already matured in my mind。 Colonel Crutchley was a married man; there were no signs of children in the house; on the other hand; there was much evidence that the wife was a woman of fashion。 Her dresses overflowed the wardrobe and her room; large; flat; cardboard boxes were to be found in every corner of the upper floors。 She was a tall woman; I was not too tall a man。 Like Raffles; I had not shaved on Campden Hill。 That morning; however; I did my best with a very fair razor which the colonel had left behind in my room; then I turned out the lady's wardrobe and the cardboard boxes; and took my choice。
I have fair hair; and at the time it was rather long。 With a pair of Mrs。 Crutchley's tongs and a discarded hair…net; I was able to produce an almost immodest fringe。 A big black hat with a wintry feather completed a headdress as unseasonable as my skating skirt and feather boa; of course; the good lady had all。 her summer frocks away with her in Switzerland。 This was all。 the more annoying from the fact that we were having a very warm September; so I was not sorry to hear Raffles return as I was busy adding a layer of powder to my heated countenance。 I listened a moment on the landing; but as he went into the study I determined to complete my toilet in every detail。 My idea was first to give him the fright he deserved; and secondly to show him that I was quite as fit to move abroad as he。 It was; however; I confess; a pair of the colonel's gloves that I was buttoning as I slipped down to the study even more quietly than usual。 The electric light was on; as it generally was by day; and under it stood as formidable a figure as ever I encountered in my life of crime。
Imagine a thin but extremely wiry man; past middle age; brown and bloodless as any crabapple; but as coolly truculent and as casually alert as Raffles at his worst。 It was; it could only be; the fire…eating and prison…inspecting colonel himself! He was ready for me; a revolver in his hand; taken; as I could see; from one of those locked drawers in the pedestal desk with which Raffles had refused to tamper; the drawer was open; and a bunch of keys depended from the lock。 A grim smile crumpled up the parchment face; so that one eye was puckered out of sight; the other was propped open by an eyeglass; which; however; dangled on its string when I appeared。
〃A woman; begad!〃 the warrior exclaimed。 〃And where's the man; you scarlet hussy?〃
Not a word could I utter。 But; in my horror and my amazement; I have no sort of doubt that I acted the part I had assumed in a manner I never should have approached in happier circumstances。
〃Come; come; my lass;〃 cried the old oak veteran; 〃I'm not going to put a bullet through you; you know! You tell me all。 about it; and it'll do you more good than harm。 There; I'll put the nasty thing away and … God bless me; if the brazen wench hasn't squeezed into the wife's kit!〃
A squeeze it happened to have been; and in my emotion it felt more of one than ever; but his sudden discovery had not heightened the veteran's animosity against me。 On the contrary; I caught a glint of humor through his gleaming glass; and he proceeded to pocket his revolver like the gentleman he was。
〃'Well; well; it's lucky I looked in;〃 he continued。 〃I only came round on the off…chance of letters; but if I hadn't you'd have had another week in clover。 Begad; though; I saw your handwriting the moment I'd got my nose inside! Now just be sensible and tell me where your good man is。
I had no man。 I was alone; had broken in alone。 There was not a soul in the affair (much less the house) except myself。 So much I stuttered out in tones too hoarse to betray me on the spot。 But the old man of the world shook a hard old head。
〃Quite right not to give away your pal;〃 said he。 〃But I'm not one of the marines; my dear; and you mustn't expect me to swallow all。 that。 Well; if you won't say; you won't; and we must just send for those who will。〃
In a flash I saw his fell design。 The telephone directory lay open on one of the pedestals。 He must have been consulting it when he heard me on the stairs; he had another look at it now; and that gave me my opportunity。 With a presence of mind rare enough in me to excuse the boast; I flung myself upon the instrument in the corner and hurled it to the ground with all。 my might。 I was myself sent spinnin