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were afraid I'd go about at night strangling people。
Am I a murdering brute？ Do I look it？ By Jove！ If I had been
he wouldn't have trusted himself like that into my room。
You'll say I might have chucked him aside and bolted out；
there and thenit was dark already。 Well； no。 And for
the same reason I wouldn't think of trying to smash the door。
There would have been a rush to stop me at the noise；
and I did not mean to get into a confounded scrimmage。
Somebody else might have got killedfor I would not have
broken out only to get chucked back； and I did not want any
more of that work。 He refused； looking more sick than ever。
He was afraid of the men； and also of that old second mate of his
who had been sailing with him for yearsa gray…headed old humbug；
and his steward； too； had been with him devil knows how long
seventeen years or morea dogmatic sort of loafer who hated
me like poison； just because I was the chief mate。 No chief
mate ever made more than one voyage in the Sephora； you know。
Those two old chaps ran the ship。 Devil only knows what the skipper
wasn't afraid of （all his nerve went to pieces altogether
in that hellish spell of bad weather we had）of what the law
would do to himof his wife； perhaps。 Oh； yes！ she's on board。
Though I don't think she would have meddled。 She would have
been only too glad to have me out of the ship in any way。
The ‘brand of Cain' business； don't you see。 That's all right。
I was ready enough to go off wandering on the face of the earth
and that was price enough to pay for an Abel of that sort。
Anyhow； he wouldn't listen to me。 'This thing must take its course。
I represent the law here。' He was shaking like a leaf。
‘So you won't？' ‘No！' 'Then I hope you will be able to sleep on that；'
I said； and turned my back on him。 ‘I wonder that you can；'
cries he； and locks the door。
〃Well after that； I couldn't。 Not very well。
That was three weeks ago。 We have had a slow passage
through the Java Sea； drifted about Carimata for ten days。
When we anchored here they thought； I suppose； it was all right。
The nearest land （and that's five miles） is the ship's destination；
the consul would soon set about catching me； and there would
have been no object in bolding to these islets there。
I don't suppose there's a drop of water on them。 I don't know
how it was； but tonight that steward； after bringing me my supper；
went out to let me eat it； and left the door unlocked。
And I ate itall there was； too。 After I had finished I strolled
out on the quarter…deck。 I don't know that I meant to do anything。
A breath of fresh air was all I wanted； I believe。
Then a sudden temptation came over me。 I kicked off my slippers
and was in the water before I had made up my mind fairly。
Somebody heard the splash and they raised an awful hullabaloo。
‘He's gone！ Lower the boats！ He's committed suicide！
No； he's swimming。' Certainly I was swimming。 It's not
so easy for a swimmer like me to commit suicide by drowning。
I landed on the nearest islet before the boat left the ship's side。
I heard them pulling about in the dark； hailing； and so on； but after
a bit they gave up。 Everything quieted down and the anchorage
became still as death。 I sat down on a stone and began to think。
I felt certain they would start searching for me at daylight。
There was no place to hide on those stony things
and if there had been； what would have been the good？
But now I was clear of that ship； I was not going back。
So after a while I took off all my clothes； tied them up in a
bundle with a stone inside； and dropped them in the deep water
on the outer side of that islet。 That was suicide enough for me。
Let them think what they liked； but I didn't mean to drown myself。
I meant to swim till I sankbut that's not the same thing。
I struck out for another of these little islands； and it
was from that one that I first saw your riding light。
Something to swim for。 I went on easily； and on the way I came
upon a flat rock a foot or two above water。 In the daytime；
I dare say； you might make it out with a glass from your poop。
I scrambled up on it and rested myself for a bit。
Then I made another start。 That last spell must have been
over a mile。〃
His whisper was getting fainter and fainter； and all the time
he stared straight out through the porthole； in which there
was not even a star to be seen。 I had not interrupted him。
There was something that made comment impossible in his narrative；
or perhaps in himself； a sort of feeling； a quality； which I can't find
a name for。 And when he ceased； all I found was a futile whisper：
〃So you swam for our light？〃
〃Yesstraight for it。 It was something to swim for。
I couldn't see any stars low down because the coast was in the way；
and I couldn't see the land； either。 The water was like glass。
One might have been swimming in a confounded thousand…feet deep
cistern with no place for scrambling out anywhere； but what I didn't
like was the notion of swimming round and round like a crazed
bullock before I gave out； and as I didn't mean to go back。
。 。 No。 Do you see me being hauled back； stark naked；
off one of these little islands by the scruff of the neck
and fighting like a wild beast？ Somebody would have got killed
for certain； and I did not want any of that。 So I went on。
Then your ladder〃
〃Why didn't you hail the ship？〃 I asked； a little louder。
He touched my shoulder lightly。 Lazy footsteps came right over our heads
and stopped。 The second mate had crossed from the other side of the poop
and might have been hanging over the rail for all we knew。
〃He couldn't hear us talkingcould he？〃 My double breathed
into my very ear； anxiously。
His anxiety was in answer； a sufficient answer； to the question
I had put to him。 An answer containing all the difficulty
of that situation。 I closed the porthole quietly； to make sure。
A louder word might have been overheard。
〃Who's that？〃 he whispered then。
〃My second mate。 But I don't know much more of the fellow than you do。〃
And I told him a little about myself。 I had been appointed to take
charge while I least expected anything of the sort； not quite
a fortnight ago。 I didn't know either the ship or the people。
Hadn't had the time in port to look about me or size anybody up。
And as to the crew； all they knew was that I was appointed to take
the ship home。 For the rest； I was almost as much of a stranger on
board as himself； I said。 And at the moment I felt it most acutely。
I felt that it would take very little to make me a suspect person
in the eyes of the ship's company。
He had turned about meantime； and we； the two strangers in the ship；
faced each other in identical attitudes。
〃Your ladder〃 he murmured； after a silence。 〃Who'd have thought
of finding a ladder hanging over at night in a ship anchored out here！
I felt just then a very unpleasant faintness。 After t