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SHABELSKI。 ＇Snatching up a revolver＇ Leave the room； or I shall
shoot！
KOSICH。 ＇Waving his hands＇ What does this mean？ Is this the
Australian bush； where no one has any interests in common？ Where
there is no public spirit； and each man lives for himself alone？
However； I must be off。 My time is precious。 ＇He shakes hands
with LEBEDIEFF＇ Pass！
General laughter。 KOSICH goes out。 In the doorway he runs into
AVDOTIA。
AVDOTIA。 ＇Shrieks＇ Bad luck to you； you nearly knocked me down。
ALL。 Oh； she is always everywhere at once！
AVDOTIA。 So this is where you all are？ I have been looking for
you all over the house。 Good…day to you； boys！
＇She shakes hands with everybody。＇
LEBEDIEFF。 What brings you here？
AVDOTIA。 Business； my son。 ＇To SHABELSKI＇ Business connected with
your highness。 She commanded me to bow。 ＇She bows＇ And to inquire
after your health。 She told me to say； the little birdie； that if
you did not come to see her this evening she would cry her eyes
out。 Take him aside； she said； and whisper in his ear。 But why
should I make a secret of her message？ We are not stealing
chickens； but arranging an affair of lawful love by mutual
consent of both parties。 And now； although I never drink； I shall
take a drop under these circumstances。
LEBEDIEFF。 So shall I。 ＇He pours out the vodka＇ You must be
immortal； you old magpie！ You were an old woman when I first knew
you； thirty years ago。
AVDOTIA。 I have lost count of the years。 I have buried three
husbands； and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a
woman without a dowry。 I have had eight children。 ＇She takes up
the glass＇ Well； we have begun a good work； may it come to a good
end！ They will live happily ever after； and we shall enjoy their
happiness。 Love and good luck to them both！ ＇She drinks＇ This is
strong vodka！
SHABELSKI。 ＇laughing loudly； to LEBEDIEFF＇ The funny thing is；
they actually think I am in earnest。 How strange！ ＇He gets up＇
And yet； Paul； why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick？ Just
out of spite？ To give the devil something to do； eh； Paul？
LEBEDIEFF。 You are talking nonsense； Count。 You and I must fix
our thoughts on dying now； we have left Martha's money far behind
us； our day is over。
SHABELSKI。 No； I shall certainly marry her； upon my word； I
shall！
Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF。
LVOFF。 Will you please spare me five minutes of your time？
LEBEDIEFF。 Hallo； Nicholas！ ＇He goes to meet IVANOFF＇ How are
you； old friend？ I have been waiting an hour for you。
AVDOTIA。 ＇Bows＇ How do you do； my son？
IVANOFF。 ＇Bitterly＇ So you have turned my library into a bar…room
again； have you？ And yet I have begged you all a thousand times
not to do so！ ＇He goes up to the table＇ There； you see； you have
spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers
everywhere！ It is disgusting！
LEBEDIEFF。 I beg your pardon； Nicholas。 Please forgive me。 I have
something very important to speak to you about。
BORKIN。 So have I。
LVOFF。 May I have a word with you？
IVANOFF。 ＇Pointing to LEBEDIEFF＇ He wants to speak to me； wait a
minute。 ＇To LEBEDIEFF＇ Well； what is it？
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇To the others＇ Excuse me； ladies and gentlemen； I
want to speak to him in private。
SHABELSKI goes out； followed by AVDOTIA； BORKIN； and LVOFF。
IVANOFF。 Paul； you may drink yourself as much as you choose； it
is your weakness； but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy。
He never used to drink at all； it is bad for him。
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇Startled＇ My dear boy； I didn't know that！ I wasn't
thinking of him at all。
IVANOFF。 If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would
be mine； not yours。 Now； what do you want？ ＇A pause。＇
LEBEDIEFF。 The fact is； NicholasI really don't know how I can
put it to make it seem less brutalNicholas； I am ashamed of
myself； I am blushing； my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth。
My dear boy； put yourself in my place； remember that I am not a
free man； I am as putty in the hands of my wife； a slaveforgive
me！
IVANOFF。 What does this mean？
LEBEDIEFF。 My wife has sent me to you； do me a favour； be a
friend to me； pay her the interest on the money you owe her。
Believe me； she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and
nail。 For heaven's sake； free yourself from her clutches！
IVANOFF。 You know； Paul； that I have no money now。
LEBEDIEFF。 I know； I know； but what can I do？ She won't wait。 If
she should sue you for the money； how could Sasha and I ever look
you in the face again？
IVANOFF。 I am ready to sink through the floor with shame； Paul；
but where； where shall I get the money？ Tell me； where？ There is
nothing I can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn。
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇Shrieks＇ But she won't wait！ ＇A pause。＇
IVANOFF。 Your position is very delicate and unpleasant； but mine
is even worse。 ＇He walks up and down in deep thought＇ I am at my
wit's end； there is nothing I can sell now。
LEBEDIEFF。 You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him；
doesn't he owe you sixty thousand roubles？
IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture。
LEBEDIEFF。 Listen to me； Nicholas； I know you will be angry； but
you must forgive an old drunkard like me。 This is between
friends； remember I am your friend。 We were students together；
both Liberals； we had the same interests and ideals； we studied
together at the University of Moscow。 It is our Alma Mater。 ＇He
takes out his purse＇ I have a private fund here； not a soul at
home knows of its existence。 Let me lend it to you。 ＇He takes out
the money and lays it on the table＇ Forget your pride； this is
between friends！ I should take it from you； indeed I should！ ＇A
pause＇ There is the money； one hundred thousand roubles。 Take
it；
go to her y ourself and say： 〃Take the money； Zinaida； and may
you choke on it。〃 Only； for heaven's sake； don't let her see by
your manner that you got it from me； or she would certainly go
for me； with her old jam！ ＇He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face＇
There； there； no matter。 ＇He quickly takes up the money and
stuffs it back into his pocket＇ Don't take it； I was only joking。
Forgive me！ Are you hurt？
IVANOFF waves his hand。
LEBEDIEFF。 Yes； the truth is ＇He sighs＇ This is a time of
sorrow and pain for you。 A man； brother； is like a samovar； he
cannot always stand coolly on a shelf； hot coals will be dropped
into him some day； and thenfizz！ The comparison is idiotic； but
it is the best I can think of。 ＇Sighing＇ Misfortunes wring the
soul； and yet I am not worried about you； brother。 Wheat goes
through the mill； and comes out as flour； and you will come
safely through your troubles； but I am annoyed； Nicholas； and
angry with the people around you。 The whole countryside is
buzzing with gossip； where does it all start？ They say you will
be soon arrested for your debts； that you are a bloodthirsty
murderer； a monster of cruelty； a robber。
IVANOFF。 All that is nothing to me； my head is aching。
LEBEDIEFF。 Because you think so much。
IVANOFF。 I never think。
LEBEDIEFF。 Come； Nicholas； snap your fingers at the whole thing；
and drive over to visit us。 Sasha loves and understands you。 She
is a sweet； honest； lovely girl； to