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priest should shrink and dwindle away before the
indignation of an enlightened world。
But the worst of all University Snobs are those
unfortunates who go to rack and ruin from their desire to
ape their betters。 Smith becomes acquainted with great
people at college； and is ashamed of his father the
tradesman。 Jones has fine acquaintances； and lives after
their fashion like a gay free…hearted fellow as he is；
and ruins his father； and robs his sister's portion； and
cripples his younger brother's outset in life； for the
pleasure of entertaining my lord； and riding by the side
of Sir John。 And though it may be very good fun for
Robinson to fuddle himself at home as he does at College；
and to be brought home by the policeman he has just been
trying to knock down think what fun it is for the poor
old soul his mother！the half…pay captain's widow； who
has been pinching herself all her life long； in order
that that jolly young fellow might have a University
education。
CHAPTER XVI
ON LITERARY SNOBS
What will he say about Literary Snobs？ has been a
question； I make no doubt； often asked by the public。
How can he let off his own profession？ Will that
truculent and unsparing monster who attacks the nobility；
the clergy； the army； and the ladies； indiscriminately；
hesitate when the turn comes to EGORGER his own flesh
and blood？
My dear and excellent querist； whom does the schoolmaster
flog so resolutely as his own son？ Didn't Brutus chop
his offspring's head off？ You have a very bad opinion
indeed of the present state of literature and of literary
men； if you fancy that any one of us would hesitate to
stick a knife into his neighbour penman； if the latter's
death could do the State any service。
But the fact is； that in the literary profession THERE
ARE NO SNOBS。 Look round at the whole body of British
men of letters； and I defy you to point out among them a
single instance of vulgarity； or envy； or assumption。
Men and women； as far as I have known them； they are all
modest in their demeanour； elegant in their manners；
spotless in their lives； and honourable in their conduct
to the world and to each other。 You MAY； occasionally；
it is true； hear one literary man abusing his brother；
but why？ Not in the least out of malice； not at all from
envy； merely from a sense of truth and public duty。
Suppose； for instance； I； good…naturedly point out a
blemish in my friend MR。 PUNCH'S person； and say； MR。 P。
has a hump…back； and his nose and chin are more crooked
than those features in the Apollo or Antinous； which we
are accustomed to consider as our standards of beauty；
does this argue malice on my part towards MR。 PUNCH？ Not
in the least。 It is the critic's duty to point out
defects as well as merits； and he invariably does his
duty with utmost gentleness and candour。
An intelligent foreigner's testimony about our manners is
always worth having； and I think； in this respect the
work of an eminent American； Mr。 N。 P。 Willis is
eminently valuable and impartial。 In his 'History of
Ernest Clay；' a crack magazine…writer； the reader will
get an exact account of the life of a popular man of
letters in England。 He is always the lion of society。
He takes the PAS of dukes and earls； all the nobility
crowd to see him： I forget how many baronesses and
duchesses fall in love with him。 But on this subject let
us hold our tongues。 Modesty forbids that we should
reveal the names of the heart…broken countesses and dear
marchionesses who are pining for every one of the
contributors in PUNCH。
If anybody wants to know how intimately authors are
connected with the fashionable world； they have but to
read the genteel novels。 What refinement and delicacy
pervades the works of Mrs。 Barnaby！ What delightful
good company do you meet with in Mrs。 Armytage！ She
seldom introduces you to anybody under a marquis！ I
don't know anything more delicious than the pictures of
genteel life in 'Ten Thousand a Year；' except perhaps the
'Young Duke；' and 'Coningsby。' There's a modest grace
about THEM； and an air of easy high fashion； which only
belongs to blood； my dear Sirto true blood。
And what linguists many of our writers are！ Lady Bulwer；
Lady Londonderry； Sir Edward himselfthey write the
French language with a luxurious elegance and ease which
sets them far above their continental rivals； of whom not
one （except Paul de Kock） knows a word of English。
And what Briton can read without enjoyment the works of
James； so admirable for terseness； and the playful humour
and dazzling offhand lightness of Ainsworth？ Among other
humourists； one might glance at a Jerrold； the chivalrous
advocate of Toryism and Church and State； an a Beckett；
with a lightsome pen； but a savage earnestness of
purpose； a Jeames； whose pure style； and wit unmingled
with buffoonery； was relished by a congenial public。
Speaking of critics； perhaps there never was a review
that has done so much for literature as the admirable
QUARTERLY。 It has its prejudices； to be sure； as which
of us has not？ It goes out of its way to abuse a great
man； or lays mercilessly on to such pretenders as Keats
and Tennyson； but； on the other hand； it is the friend of
all young authors； and has marked and nurtured all the
rising talent of the country。 It is loved by everybody。
There； again； is BLACKWOOD'S MAGAZINEconspicuous for
modest elegance and amiable satire； that review never
passes the bounds of politeness in a joke。 It is the
arbiter of manners； and； while gently exposing the
foibles of Londoners （for whom the BEAUX ESPRITS of
Edinburgh entertain a justifiable contempt）； it is never
coarse in its fun。 The fiery enthusiasm of the ATHENAEUM
is well known： and the bitter wit of the too difficult
LITERARY GAZETTE。 The EXAMINER is perhaps too timid； and
the SPECTATOR too boisterous in its praisebut who can
carp at these minor faults？ No； no； the critics of
England and the authors of England are unrivalled as a
body； and hence it becomes impossible for us to find
fault with them。
Above all； I never knew a man of letters ASHAMED OF HIS
PROFESSION。 Those who know us； know what an affectionate
and brotherly spirit there is among us all。 Sometimes
one of us rises in the world： we never attack him or
sneer at him under those circumstances； but rejoice to a
man at his success。 If Jones dines with a lord； Smith
never says Jones is a courtier and cringer。 Nor； on the
other hand； does Jones； who is in the habit of
frequenting the society of great people； give himself any
airs on account of the company he keeps； but will leave a
duke's arm in Pall Mall to come over and speak to poor
Brown； the young penny…a…liner。
That sense of equality and fraternity amongst authors has
always struck me as one of the most amiable
characteristics of the class。 It is because we know