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always struck me as one of the most amiable
characteristics of the class。 It is because we know and
respect each other； that the world respects us so much；
that we hold such a good position in society； and demean
ourselves so irreproachably when there。
Literary persons are held in such esteem by the nation
that about two of them have been absolutely invited to
court during the present reign； and it is probable that
towards the end of the season； one or two will be asked
to dinner by Sir Robert Peel。
They are such favourites with the public； that they are
continually obliged to have their pictures taken and
published； and one or two could be pointed out； of whom
the nation insists upon having a fresh portrait every
year。 Nothing can be more gratifying than this proof of
the affectionate regard which the people has for its
instructors。
Literature is held in such honour in England； that there
is a sum of near twelve hundred pounds per annum set
apart to pension deserving persons following that
profession。 And a great compliment this is； too； to the
professors； and a proof of their generally prosperous and
flourishing condition。 They are generally so rich and
thrifty； that scarcely any money is wanted to help them。
If every word of this is true； how； I should like to know
am I to write about Literary Snobs？
CHAPTER XVII
A LITTLE ABOUT IRISH SNOBS
You do not； to be sure； imagine that there are no other
Snobs in Ireland than those of the amiable party who wish
to make pikes of iron railroads （it's a fine Irish
economy）； and to cut the throats of the Saxon invaders。
These are of the venomous sort； and had they been
invented in his time； St。 Patrick would have banished
them out of the kingdom along with the other dangerous
reptiles。
I think it is the Four Masters； or else it's Olaus
Magnus； or else it's certainly O'Neill Daunt； in the
'Catechism of Irish History；' who relates that when
Richard the Second came to Ireland； and the Irish chiefs
did homage to him； going down on their knees the poor
simple creatures！and worshipping and wondering before
the English king and the dandies of his court； my lords
the English noblemen mocked and jeered at their uncouth
Irish admirers； mimicked their talk and gestures； pulled
their poor old beards； and laughed at the strange fashion
of their garments。
The English Snob rampant always does this to the present
day。 There is no Snob in existence； perhaps； that has
such an indomitable belief in himself： that sneers you
down all the rest of the world besides； and has such an
insufferable； admirable； stupid contempt for all people
but his ownnay； for all sets but his own。 'Gwacious
Gad' what stories about 'the Iwish' these young dandies
accompanying King Richard must have had to tell； when
they returned to Pall Mall； and smoked their cigars upon
the steps of 'White's。'
The Irish snobbishness developes itself not in pride so
much as in servility and mean admirations； and trumpery
imitations of their neighbours。 And I wonder De
Tocqueville and De Beaumont； and THE TIMES' Commissioner；
did not explain the Snobbishness of Ireland as contrasted
with our own。 Ours is that of Richard's Norman Knights；…
…haughty； brutal stupid； and perfectly self…confident；
theirs； of the poor； wondering； kneeling； simple
chieftains。 They are on their knees still before English
fashionthese simple； wild people； and indeed it is hard
not to grin at some of their NAIVE exhibitions。
Some years since； when a certain great orator was Lord
Mayor of Dublin； he used to wear a red gown and a cocked
hat； the splendour of which delighted him as much as a
new curtain…ring in her nose or a string of glass…beads
round her neck charms Queen Quasheeneboo。 He used to pay
visits to people in this dress； to appear at meetings
hundreds of miles off； in the red velvet gown。 And to
hear the people crying 'Yes； me Lard！' and 'No； me Lard！'
and to read the prodigious accounts of his Lordship in
the papers： it seemed as if the people and he liked to be
taken in by this twopenny splendour。 Twopenny
magnificence； indeed； exists all over Ireland； and may be
considered as the great characteristic of the
Snobbishness of that country。
When Mrs。 Mulholligan； the grocer's lady； retires to
Kingstown； she has Mulholliganville' painted over the
gate of her villa； and receives you at a door that won't
shut or gazes at you out of a window that is glazed with
an old petticoat。
Be it ever so shabby and dismal； nobody ever owns to
keeping a shop。 A fellow whose stock in trade is a penny
roll or a tumbler of lollipops； calls his cabin the
'American Flour Stores；' or the 'Depository for Colonial
Produce；' or some such name。
As for Inns； there are none in the country； Hotels abound
as well furnished as Mulholliganville； but again there
are no such people as landlords and land…ladies； the
landlord is out with the hounds； and my lady in the
parlour talking with the Captain or playing the piano。
If a gentleman has a hundred a year to leave to his
family they all become gentlemen； all keep a nag； ride to
hounds； and swagger about in the 'Phaynix；' and grow
tufts to their chins like so many real aristocrats。
A friend of mine has taken to be a painter； and lives out
of Ireland； where he is considered to have disgraced the
family by choosing such a profession。 His father is a
wine…merchant； and his elder brother an apothecary。
The number of men one meets in London and on the
Continent who have a pretty little property of five…and…
twenty hundred a year in Ireland is prodigious： those who
WILL have nine thousand a year in land when somebody dies
are still more numerous。 I myself have met as many
descendants from Irish kings as would form a brigade。
And who has not met the Irishman who apes the Englishman；
and who forgets his country and tries to forget his
accent； or to smother the taste of it； as it were？
'Come； dine with me； my boy；' says O'Dowd； of
O'Dowdstown： 'you'll FIND US ALL ENGLISH THERE；' which he
tells you with a brogue as broad as from here to
Kingstown Pier。 And did you never hear Mrs。 Captain
Macmanus talk about 'I…ah…land；' and her account of her
'fawther's esteet？' Very few men have rubbed through the
world without hearing and witnessing some of these
Hibernian phenomenathese twopenny splendours。
And what say you to the summit of societythe Castle
with a sham king； and sham lords…in…waiting； and sham
loyalty； and a sham Haroun Alraschid； to go about in a
sham disguise； making believe to be affable and splendid？
That Castle is the pink and pride of Snobbishness。 A
COURT CIRCULAR is bad enough； with two columns of print
about a little baby that's christenedbut think of
people liking a sham COURT CIRCULAR！
I think the shams of Ireland are more outrageous than
those of any countr