按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
little present； which I had brought from town as a peace…
offering to Mrs。 Ponto； viz。； a cod and oysters from
Grove's； in a hamper about the size of a coffin。
Ponto's house （'The Evergreens' Mrs。 P。 has christened
it） is a perfect Paradise of a place。 It is all over
creepers； and bow…windows； and verandahs。 A wavy lawn
tumbles up and down all round it； with flower…beds of
wonderful shapes； and zigzag gravel walks； and beautiful
but damp shrubberies of myrtles and glistening
laurustines； which have procured it its change of name。
It was called Little Bullock's Pound in old Doctor
Ponto's time。 I had a view of the pretty grounds； and
the stable； and the adjoining village and church； and a
great park beyond； from the windows of the bedroom
whither Ponto conducted me。 It was the yellow bedroom；
the freshest and pleasantest of bed…chambers； the air was
fragrant with a large bouquet that was placed on the
writing…table； the linen was fragrant with the lavender
in which it had been laid； the chintz hangings of the bed
and the big sofa were； if not fragrant with flowers； at
least painted all over with them； the pen…wiper on the
table was the imitation of a double dahlia； and there was
accommodation for my watch in a sun…flower on the
mantelpiece。 A scarlet…leaved creeper came curling over
the windows； through which the setting sun was pouring a
flood of golden light。 It was all flowers and freshness。
Oh； how unlike those black chimney…pots in St。 Alban's
Place； London； on which these weary eyes are accustomed
to look。
'It must be all happiness here； Ponto；' said I； flinging
myself down into the snug BERGERE； and inhaling such a
delicious draught of country air as all the MILLEFLEURS
of Mr。 Atkinson's shop cannot impart to any the most
expensive pocket…handkerchief。
'Nice place； isn't it？' said Ponto。 'Quiet and
unpretending。 I like everything quiet。 You've not
brought your valet with you？ Stripes will arrange your
dressing things；' and that functionary； entering at the
same time； proceeded to gut my portmanteau； and to lay
out the black kerseymeres； 'the rich cut velvet Genoa
waistcoat；' the white choker； and other polite articles
of evening costume； with great gravity and despatch。 'A
great dinner…party；' thinks I to myself； seeing these
preparations （and not； perhaps； displeased at the idea
that some of the best people in the neighbourhood were
coming to see me）。 'Hark； theres the first bell ringing！
'said Ponto； moving away； and； in fact； a clamorous
harbinger of victuals began clanging from the stable
turret； and announced the agreeable fact that dinner
would appear in half…an…hour。 'If the dinner is as grand
as the dinner…bell；' thought I； 'faith； I'm in good
quarters！' and had leisure； during the half…hour's
interval； not only to advance my own person to the utmost
polish of elegance which it is capable of receiving； to
admire the pedigree of the Pontos hanging over the
chimney； and the Ponto crest and arms emblazoned on the
wash…hand basin and jug； but to make a thousand
reflections on the happiness of a country lifeupon the
innocent friendliness and cordiality of rustic
intercourse； and to sigh for an opportunity of retiring；
like Ponto； to my own fields； to my own vine and fig…
tree； with a placens uxor in my domus； and a half…score
of sweet young pledges of affection sporting round my
paternal knee。
Clang！ At the end of thirty minutes； dinner…bell number
two pealed from the adjacent turret。 I hastened
downstairs； expecting to find a score of healthy country
folk in the drawing…room。 There was only one person
there； a tall and Roman…nosed lady； glistering over with
bugles； in deep mourning。 She rose； advanced two steps；
made a majestic curtsey； during which all the bugles in
her awful head…dress began to twiddle and quiverand
then said； 'Mr。 Snob； we are very happy to see you at the
Evergreens；' and heaved a great sigh。
This； then； was Mrs。 Major Ponto； to whom making my very
best bow； I replied； that I was very proud to make her
acquaintance； as also that of so charming a place as the
Evergreens。
Another sigh。 'We are distantly related； Mr。 Snob；' said
she； shaking her melancholy head。 'Poor dear Lord
Rubadub！'
'Oh！' said I； not knowing what the deuce Mrs。 Major Ponto
meant。
'Major Ponto told me that you were of the Leicestershire
Snobs： a very old family； and related to Lord
Snobbington； who married Laura Rubadub； who is a cousin
of mine； as was her poor dear father； for whom we are
mourning。 What a seizure！ only sixty…three； and apoplexy
quite unknown until now in our family！ In life we are in
death； Mr。 Snob。 Does Lady Snobbington bear the
deprivation well？'
'Why； really； ma'am； II don't know；' I replied； more
and more confused。
As she was speaking I heard a sort of CLOOP； by which
well…known sound I was aware that somebody was opening a
bottle of wine； and Ponto entered； in a huge white
neckcloth； and a rather shabby black suit。
'My love；' Mrs。 Major Ponto said to her husband； 'we were
talking of our cousinpoor dear Lord Rubadub。 His death
has placed some of the first families in England in
mourning。 Does Lady Rubadub keep the house in Hill
Street； do you know？'
I didn't know； but I said； 'I believe she does；' at a
venture； and； looking down to the drawing…room table； saw
the inevitable； abominable； maniacal； absurd； disgusting
'Peerage' open on the table； interleaved with
annotations； and open at the article 'Snobbington。'
'Dinner is served；' says Stripes； flinging open the door；
and I gave Mrs。 Major Ponto my arm。
CHAPTER XXV
A VISIT TO SOME COUNTRY SNOBS
Of the dinner to which we now sat down； I am not going to
be a severe critic。 The mahogany I hold to be
inviolable； but this I will say； that I prefer sherry to
marsala when I can get it； and the latter was the wine of
which I have no doubt I heard the 'cloop' just before
dinner。 Nor was it particularly good of its kind；
however； Mrs。 Major Ponto did not evidently know the
difference； for she called the liquor Amontillado during
the whole of the repast； and drank but half a glass of
it； leaving the rest for the Major and his guest。
Stripes was in the livery of the Ponto familya thought
shabby； but gorgeous in the extremelots of magnificent
worsted lace； and livery buttons of a very notable size。
The honest fellow's hands； I remarked； were very large
and black； and a fine odour of the stable was wafted
about the room as he moved to and fro in his
ministration。 I should have preferred a clean
maidservant； but the sensations of Londoners are too
acute perhaps on these subjects； and a faithful John；
after all； IS more genteel。
》From the circumstance of the dinner being composed of
pig's…head mock…turtle soup； of pig's fry and roast ribs
of pork； I am led to imagine that one of