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In the great library （225 feet long by 150） the only man
Mrs。 Chuff saw； was Tiggs。 He was lying on a crimson…
velvet sofa； reading a French novel of Paul de Kock。 It
was a very little book。 He is a very little man。 In
that enormous hall he looked like a mere speck。 As the
ladies passed breathless and trembling in the vastness of
the magnificent solitude； he threw a knowing； killing
glance at the fair strangers； as much as to say； 'Ain't I
a fine fellow？' They thought so； I am sure。
'WHO IS THAT？；' hisses out Mrs。 Chuff； when we were about
fifty yards off him at the other end of the room。
'Tiggs！' says I； in a similar whisper。
'Pretty comfortable this； isn't it； my dear？' says Maine
in a free…and…easy way to Mrs。 Sackville； all the
magazines； you seewriting materialsnew workschoice
library； containing every work of importancewhat have
we here？〃Dugdale's Monasticon；' a most valuable and； I
believe； entertaining book。'
And proposing to take down one of the books for Mrs。
Maine's inspection； he selected Volume VII。； to which he
was attracted by the singular fact that a brass door…
handle grew out of the back。 Instead of pulling out a
book； however； he pulled open a cupboard； only inhabited
by a lazy housemaid's broom and duster； at which he
looked exceedingly discomfited ； while Nelson
Collingwood； losing all respect； burst into a roar of
laughter。
'That's the rummest book I ever saw；' says Nelson。 'I
wish we'd no others at Merchant Taylors'。'
'Hush； Nelson！' cries Mrs。 Chuff； and we went into the
other magnificent apartments。
How they did admire the drawing…room hangings； （pink and
silver brocade； most excellent wear for London；） and
calculated the price per yard； and revelled on the
luxurious sofas； and gazed on the immeasurable looking…
glasses。
'Pretty well to shave by； eh？' says Maine to his mother…
in…law。 （He was getting more abominably conceited every
minute。） 'Get away； Sackville；' says she； quite
delighted； and threw a glance over her shoulder； and
spread out the wings of the red tabinet； and took a good
look at herself； so did Mrs。 Sackvillejust one； and I
thought the glass reflected a very smiling； pretty
creature。
But what's a woman at a looking…glass？ Bless the little
dears； it's their place。 They fly to it naturally。 It
pleases them； and they adorn it。 What I like to see； and
watch with increasing joy and adoration； is the Club MEN
at the great looking…glasses。 Old Gills pushing up his
collars and grinning at his own mottled face。 Hulker
looking solemnly at his great person； and tightening his
coat to give himself a waist。 Fred Minchin simpering by
as he is going out to dine； and casting upon the
reflection of his white neckcloth a pleased moony smile。
What a deal of vanity that Club mirror has reflected； to
be sure！
Well； the ladies went through the whole establishment
with perfect pleasure。 They beheld the coffee…rooms； and
the little tables laid for dinner； and the gentlemen who
were taking their lunch； and old Jawkins thundering away
as usual； they saw the reading…rooms； and the rush for
the evening papers； they saw the kitchensthose wonders
of artwhere the CHEF was presiding over twenty pretty
kitchen…maids； and ten thousand shining saucepans： and
they got into the light…blue fly perfectly bewildered
with pleasure。
Sackville did not enter it； though little Laura took the
back seat on purpose； and left him the front place
alongside of Mrs。 Chuff's red tabinet。
'We have your favourite dinner；' says she； in a timid
voice； 'won't you come； Sackville？'
'I shall take a chop here to…day； my dear；' Sackville
replied。 'Home； James。' And he went up the steps of the
'Sarcophagus；' and the pretty face looked very sad out of
the carriage； as the blue fly drove away。
CHAPTER XLIV
CLUB SNOBS
WhyWhy did I and Wagley ever do so cruel an action as
to introduce young Sackville Maine into that odious
'Sarcophagus'？ Let our imprudence and his example be a
warning to other gents； let his fate and that of his poor
wife be remembered by every British female。 The
consequences of his entering the Club were as follows：
One of the first vices the unhappy wretch acquired in
this abode of frivolity was that of SMOKING。 Some of the
dandies of the Club； such as the Marquis of Macabaw； Lord
Doodeen； and fellows of that high order； are in the habit
of indulging in this propensity upstairs in the billiard…
rooms of the 'Sarcophagus' and； partly to make their
acquaintance； partly from a natural aptitude for crime；
Sackville Maine followed them； and became an adept in the
odious custom。 Where it is introduced into a family I
need not say how sad the consequences are； both to the
furniture and the morals。 Sackville smoked in his
dining…room at home； and caused an agony to his wife and
mother…in…law which I do not venture to describe。
He then became a professed BILLIARD…PLAYER； wasting hours
upon hours at that amusement； betting freely； playing
tolerably； losing awfully to Captain Spot and Col。
Cannon。 He played matches of a hundred games with these
gentlemen； and would not only continue until four or five
o'clock in the morning at this work； but would be found
at the Club of a forenoon； indulging himself to the
detriment of his business； the ruin of his health； and
the neglect of his wife。
》From billiards to whist is but a stepand when a man
gets to whist and five pounds on a rubber； my opinion is；
that it is all up with him。 How was the coal business to
go on； and the connection of the firm to be kept up； and
the senior partner always at the card…table？
Consorting now with genteel persons and Pall Mall bucks；
Sackville became ashamed of his snug little residence in
Kennington Oval； and transported his family to Pimlico；
where； though Mrs。 Chuff； his mother…in…law； was at first
happy； as the quarter was elegant and near her Sovereign；
poor little Laura and the children found a woful
difference。 Where were her friends who came in with
their work of a morning？At Kennington and in the
vicinity of Clapham。 'Where were her children's little
playmates？On Kennington Common。 The great thundering
carriages that roared up and down the drab…coloured
streets of the new quarter； contained no friends for the
sociable little Laura。 The children that paced the
squares； attended by a BONNE or a prim governess； were
not like those happy ones that flew kites； or played hop…
scotch； on the well…beloved old Common。 And ah！ what a
difference at Church too！between St。 Benedict's of
Pimlico； with open seats； service in sing…songtapers
albssurplicesgarlands and processions； and the honest
old ways of Kennington！ The footmen； too； attending St。
Benedict's were so splendid and enormous； that James；
Mrs。 Chuff's boy； trembled amongst them； and said he
would give wa