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Benedict's were so splendid and enormous； that James；
Mrs。 Chuff's boy； trembled amongst them； and said he
would give warning rather than carry the books to that
church any more。
The furnishing of the house was not done without expense。
And； ye gods！ what a difference there was between
Sackville's dreary French banquets in Pimlico； and the
jolly dinners at the Oval！ No more legs…of…mutton； no
more of 'the best port…wine in England；' but ENTREES on
plate； and dismal twopenny champagne； and waiters in
gloves； and the Club bucks for companyamong whom Mrs。
Chuff was uneasy and Mrs。 Sackville quite silent。
Not that he dined at home often。 The wretch had become a
perfect epicure； and dined commonly at the Club with the
gormandising clique there； with old Doctor Maw； Colonel
Cramley （who is as lean as a greyhound and has jaws like
a jack）； and the rest of them。 Here you might see the
wretch tippling Sillery champagne and gorging himself
with French viands； and I often looked with sorrow from
my table； （on which cold meat； the Club small…beer； and a
half…pint of Marsala form the modest banquet；） and sighed
to think it was my work。
And there were other beings present to my repentant
thoughts。 Where's his wife； thought I？ Where's poor；
good； kind little Laura？ At this very momentit's about
the nursery bed…time； and while yonder good…for…nothing
is swilling his winethe little ones are at Laura's
knees lisping their prayers： and she is teaching them to
say'Pray God bless Papa。'
When she has put them to bed； her day's occupation is
gone； and she is utterly lonely all night； and sad； and
waiting for him。
Oh； for shame！ Oh； for shame！ Go home； thou idle
tippler。
How Sackville lost his health ： how he lost his business；
how he got into scrapes； how he got into debt； how he
became a railroad director； how the Pimlico house was
shut up； how he went to Boulogne；all this I could tell；
only I am too much ashamed of my part of the transaction。
They returned to England； because； to the surprise of
everybody； Mrs。 Chuff came down with a great sum of money
（which nobody knew she had saved）； and paid his
liabilities。 He is in England； but at Kennington。 His
name is taken off the books of the 'Sarcophagus' long
ago。 When we meet； he crosses over to the other side of
the street； I don't call； as I should be sorry to see a
look of reproach or sadness in Laura's sweet face。
Not； however； all evil； as I am proud to think； has been
the influence of the Snob of England upon Clubs in
general：Captain Shindy is afraid to bully the waiters
any more； and eats his mutton…chop without moving
Acheron。 Gobemouche does not take more than two papers
at a time for his private reading。 Tiggs does not ring
the bell and cause the library…waiter to walk about a
quarter of a mile in order to give him Vol。 II。； which
lies on the next table。 Growler has ceased to walk from
table to table in the coffee…room； and inspect what
people are having for dinner。 Trotty Veck takes his own
umbrella from the hallthe cotton one； and Sydney
Scraper's paletot lined with silk has been brought back
by Jobbins； who entirely mistook it for his own。 Wiggle
has discontinued telling stories about the ladies he has
killed。 Snooks does not any more think it gentlemanlike
to blackball attorneys。 Snuffler no longer publicly
spreads out his great red cotton pocket…handkerchief
before the fire； for the admiration of two hundred
gentlemen； and if one Club Snob has been brought back to
the paths of rectitude； and if one poor John has been
spared a journey or a scoldingsay； friends and brethren
if these sketches of Club Snobs have been in vain？
CONCLUDING OBSERVATIONS ON SNOBS
How it is that we have come to No。 45 of this present
series of papers； my dear friends and brother Snobs； I
hardly knowbut for a whole mortal year have we been
together； prattling； and abusing the human race； and were
we to live for a hundred years more； I believe there is
plenty of subject for conversation in the enormous theme
of Snobs。
The national mind is awakened to the subject。 Letters
pour in every day； conveying marks of sympathy； directing
the attention of the Snob of England to races of Snobs
yet undescribed。 'Where are your Theatrical Snobs； your
Commercial Snobs； your Medical and Chirurgical Snobs；
your Official Snobs； your Legal Snobs； your Artistical
Snobs； your Musical Snobs； your Sporting Snobs？' write my
esteemed correspondents。 'Surely you are not going to
miss the Cambridge Chancellor election； and omit showing
up your Don Snobs； who are coming； cap in hand； to a
young Prince of six…and…twenty； and to implore him to be
the chief of their renowned University？' writes a friend
who seals with the signet of the Cam and Isis Club。
'Pray； pray；' cries another； 'now the Operas are opening；
give us a lecture about Omnibus Snobs。' Indeed； I should
like to write a chapter about the Snobbish Dons very
much； and another about the Snobbish Dandies。 Of my dear
Theatrical Snobs I think with a pang； and I can hardly
break away from some Snobbish artists； with whom I have
long； long intended to have a palaver。
But what's the use of delaying？ When these were done
there would be fresh Snobs to pourtray。 The labour is
endless。 No single man could complete it。 Here are but
fifty…two bricksand a pyramid to build。 It is best to
stop。 As Jones always quits the room as soon as he has
said his good thing；as Cincinnatus and General
Washington both retired into private life in the height
of their popularity；as Prince Albert； when he laid the
first stone of the Exchange； left the bricklayers to
complete that edifice and went home to his royal dinner；…
…as the poet Bunn comes forward at the end of the season；
and with feelings too tumultuous to describe； blesses his
KYIND friends over the footlights： so； friends； in the
flush of conquest and the splendour of victory； amid the
shouts and the plaudits of a peopletriumphant yet
modestthe Snob of England bids ye farewell。
But only for a season。 Not for ever。 No； no。 There is
one celebrated author whom I admire very muchwho has
been taking leave of the public any time these ten years
in his prefaces； and always comes back again when
everybody is glad to see him。 How can he have the heart
to be saying good…bye so often？ I believe that Bunn is
affected when he blesses the people。 Parting is always
painful。 Even the familiar bore is dear to you。 I
should be sorry to shake hands even with Jawkins for the
last time。 I think a well…constituted convict； on coming
home from transportation； ought to be rather sad when he
takes leave of Van Diemen's Land。 When the curtain goes
down on the last night of a pantomime； poor old clown
must be very dismal； depend on it。 Ha！ with what joy he
rushes forward on the evening of the 26th of December