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Queen Charlotte。 Buck （as I call him； for we are very
familiar） gave me a nod as he passed； and I proceeded to
show Eugenio how it was impossible that this nobleman
should not be one of ourselves； having been practised
upon by Snobs all his life。
His parents resolved to give him a public education； and
sent him to school at the earliest possible period。 The
Reverend Otto Rose； D。D。； Principal of the Preparatory
Academy for young noblemen and gentlemen； Richmond Lodge；
took this little Lord in hand； and fell down and
worshipped him。 He always introduced him to fathers and
mothers who came to visit their children at the school。
He referred with pride and pleasure to the most noble the
Marquis of Bagwig； as one of the kind friends and patrons
of his Seminary。 He made Lord Buckram a bait for such a
multiplicity of pupils； that a new wing was built to
Richmond Lodge； and thirty…five new little white dimity
beds were added to the establishment。 Mm。 Rose used to
take out the little Lord in the one…horse chaise with her
when she paid visits； until the Rector's lady and the
Surgeon's wife almost died with envy。 His own son and
Lord Buckram having been discovered robbing an orchard
together； the Doctor flogged his own flesh and blood most
unmercifully for leading the young Lord astray。 He
parted from him with tears。 There was always a letter
directed to the Most Noble the Marquis ef Bagwig； on the
Doctor's study table； when any visitors were received by
him。
At Eton； a great deal of Snobbishness was thrashed out of
Lord Buckram； and he was birched with perfect
impartiality。 Even there； however； a select band of
sucking tuft…hunters followed him。 Young Croesus lent
him three…and…twenty bran…new sovereigns out of his
father's bank。 Young Snaily did his exercises for him；
and tried 'to know him at home；' but Young Bull licked
him in a fight of fifty…five minutes； and he was caned
several times with great advantage for not sufficiently
polishing his master Smith's shoes。 Boys are not ALL
toadies in the morning of life。
But when he went to the University； crowds of toadies
sprawled over him。 The tutors toadied him。 The fellows
in hall paid him great clumsy compliments。 The Dean
never remarked his absence from Chapel； or heard any
noise issuing from his rooms。 A number of respectable
young fellows； （it is among the respectable； the Baker
Street class； that Snobbishness flourishes； more than
among any set of people in England）a number of these
clung to him like leeches。 There was no end now to
Croesus's loans of money； and Buckram couldn't ride out
with the hounds； but Snaily （a timid creature by nature）
was in the field； and would take any leap at which his
friend chose to ride。 Young Rose came up to the same
College； having been kept back for that express purpose
by his father。 He spent a quarter's allowance in giving
Buckram a single dinner； but he knew there was always
pardon for him for extravagance in such a cause； and a
ten…pound note always came to him from home when he
mentioned Buckram's name in a letter。 What wild visions
entered the brains of Mrs。 Podge and Miss Podge； the wife
and daughter of the Principal of Lord Buckram's College；
I don't know； but that reverend old gentleman was too
profound a flunkey by nature ever for one minute to think
that a child of his could marry a nobleman。 He therefore
hastened on his daughter's union with Professer Crab。
When Lord Buckram； after taking his honorary degree； （for
Alma Mater is a Snob； too； and truckles to a Lord like
the rest；）when Lord Buckram went abread to finish his
education； you all know what dangers he ran； and what
numbers of caps were set at him。 Lady Leach and her
daughters followed him from Paris to Rome； and from Rome
to Baden…Baden； Miss Leggitt burst into tears before his
face when he announced his determination to quit Naples；
and fainted on the neck of her mamma： Captain Macdragon；
of Macdragonstown； County Tipperary； called upon him to
'explene his intintions with respect to his sisther； Miss
Amalia Macdragon； of Macdragonstown；' and proposed to
shoot him unless he married that spotless and beautiful
young creature； who was afterwards led to the altar by
Mr。 Muff； at Cheltenham。 If perseverance and forty
thousand pounds down could have tempted him； Miss Lydia
Croesus would certainly have been Lady Buckram。 Count
Towrowski was glad to take her with half the meney； as
all the genteel world knows。
And now； perhaps； the reader is anxious to know what sort
of a man this is who wounded so many ladies' hearts； and
who has been such a prodigious favourite with men。 If we
were to describe him it would be personal。 Besides； it
really does not matter in the least what sort of a man he
is； or what his personal qualities are。
Suppose he is a young nobleman of a literary turn； and
that he published poems ever so foolish and feeble； the
Snobs would purchase thousands of his volumes： the
publishers （who refused my Passion…Flowers； and my grand
Epic at any price） would give him his own。 Suppose he is
a nobleman of a jovial turn； and has a fancy for
wrenching off knockers； frequenting ginshops； and half
murdering policemen： the public will sympathize good…
naturedly with his amusements； and say he is a hearty；
honest fellow。 Suppose he is fond of play and the turf；
and has a fancy to be a blackleg； and occasionally
condescends to pluck a pigeon at cards； the public will
pardon him； and many honest people will court him； as
they would court a housebreaker if he happened to be a
Lord。 Suppose he is an idiot； yet； by the glorious
constitution； he is good enough to govern US。 Suppose he
is an honest； highminded gentleman； so much the better
for himself。 But he may be an ass； and yet respected； or
a ruffian； and yet be exceedingly popular； or a rogue；
and yet excuses will be found for him。 Snobs will still
worship him。 Male Snobs will do him honour； and females
look kindly upon him； however hideous he may be。
CHAPTER VI
ON SOME RESPECTABLE SNOBS
Having received a great deal of obloquy for dragging
monarchs； princes； and the respected nobility into the
Snob category； I trust to please everybody in the present
chapter； by stating my firm opinion that it is among the
RESPECTABLE classes of this vast and happy empire that
the greatest profusion of Snobs is to be found。 I pace
down my beloved Baker Street； （I am engaged on a life of
Baker； founder of this celebrated street；） I walk in
Harley Street （where every other house has a hatchment）；
Wimpole Street； that is as cheerful as the Catacombsa
dingy Mausoleum of the genteel：I rove round Regent's
Park； where the plaster is patching off the house walls；
where Methodist preachers are holding forth to three
little children in the green inclosures； and puffy
valetudinarians are cantering in the solita