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Tam subitae mortis causam； Faustine； requiris？
In somnis medicum viderat Hermocratem：〃
＇〃Andragoras bathed with us； supped gaily； and in the morning the
same was found dead。 Dost thou ask； Faustinus； the cause of this so
sudden death？ In his dreams he had seen the physician Hermocrates。〃
Martial； vi。 53。＇
upon which I will relate two stories。
The Baron de Caupene in Chalosse and I have betwixt us the advowson of a
benefice of great extent； at the foot of our mountains； called Lahontan。
It is with the inhabitants of this angle； as 'tis said of those of the
Val d'Angrougne； they lived a peculiar sort of life； their fashions；
clothes； and manners distinct from other people； ruled and governed by
certain particular laws and usages； received from father to son； to which
they submitted； without other constraint than the reverence to custom。
This little state had continued from all antiquity in so happy a
condition； that no neighbouring judge was ever put to the trouble of
inquiring into their doings； no advocate was ever retained to give them
counsel； no stranger ever called in to compose their differences； nor was
ever any of them seen to go a…begging。 They avoided all alliances and
traffic with the outer world； that they might not corrupt the purity of
their own government； till； as they say； one of them； in the memory of
man； having a mind spurred on with a noble ambition； took it into his
head； to bring his name into credit and reputation； to make one of his
sons something more than ordinary； and having put him to learn to write
in a neighbouring town； made him at last a brave village notary。 This
fellow； having acquired such dignity； began to disdain their ancient
customs； and to buzz into the people's ears the pomp of the other parts
of the nation； the first prank he played was to advise a friend of his；
whom somebody had offended by sawing off the horns of one of his goats；
to make his complaint to the royal judges thereabout； and so he went on
from one to another； till he had spoiled and confounded all。 In the tail
of this corruption； they say； there happened another； and of worse
consequence； by means of a physician； who； falling in love with one of
their daughters； had a mind to marry her and to live amongst them。 This
man first of all began to teach them the names of fevers； colds； and
imposthumes； the seat of the heart； liver； and intestines； a science till
then utterly unknown to them； and instead of garlic； with which they were
wont to cure all manner of diseases； how painful or extreme soever； he
taught them； though it were but for a cough or any little cold； to take
strange mixtures； and began to make a trade not only of their health； but
of their lives。 They swear till then they never perceived the evening
air to be offensive to the head； that to drink when they were hot was
hurtful； and that the winds of autumn were more unwholesome than those of
spring； that； since this use of physic； they find themselves oppressed
with a legion of unaccustomed diseases； and that they perceive a general
decay in their ancient vigour； and their lives are cut shorter by the
half。 This is the first of my stories。
The other is； that before I was afflicted with the stone； hearing that
the blood of a he…goat was with many in very great esteem； and looked
upon as a celestial manna rained down upon these latter ages for the good
and preservation of the lives of men； and having heard it spoken of by
men of understanding for an admirable drug； and of infallible operation；
I； who have ever thought myself subject to all the accidents that can
befall other men； had a mind； in my perfect health； to furnish myself
with this miracle； and therefore gave order to have a goat fed at home
according to the recipe： for he must be taken in the hottest month of all
summer； and must only have aperitive herbs given him to eat； and white
wine to drink。 I came home by chance the very day he was to be killed；
and some one came and told me that the cook had found two or three great
balls in his paunch； that rattled against one another amongst what he had
eaten。 I was curious to have all his entrails brought before me； where；
having caused the skin that enclosed them to be cut； there tumbled out
three great lumps； as light as sponges； so that they appeared to be
hollow； but as to the rest； hard and firm without； and spotted and mixed
all over with various dead colours； one was perfectly round； and of the
bigness of an ordinary ball； the other two something less； of an
imperfect roundness； as seeming not to be arrived at their； full growth。
I find； by inquiry of people accustomed to open these animals； that it is
a rare and unusual accident。 'Tis likely these are stones of the same
nature with ours and if so； it must needs be a very vain hope in
those who have the stone； to extract their cure from the blood of a beast
that was himself about to die of the same disease。 For to say that the
blood does not participate of this contagion； and does not thence alter
its wonted virtue； it is rather to be believed that nothing is engendered
in a body but by the conspiracy and communication of all the parts： the
whole mass works together； though one part contributes more to the work
than another； according to the diversity of operations； wherefore it is
very likely that there was some petrifying quality in all the parts of
this goat。 It was not so much for fear of the future； and for myself；
that I was curious in this experiment； but because it falls out in mine；
as it does in many other families； that the women store up such little
trumperies for the service of the people； using the same recipe in fifty
several diseases； and such a recipe as they will not take themselves； and
yet triumph when they happen to be successful。
As to what remains； I honour physicians； not according to the precept
for their necessity （for to this passage may be opposed another of the
prophet reproving King Asa for having recourse to a physician）； but for
themselves； having known many very good men of that profession； and most
worthy to be beloved。 I do not attack them； 'tis their art I inveigh
against； and do not much blame them for making their advantage of our
folly； for most men do the same。 Many callings； both of greater and of
less dignity than theirs； have no other foundation or support than public
abuse。 When I am sick I send for them if they be near； only to have
their company； and pay them as others do。 I give them leave to command
me to keep myself warm； because I naturally love to do it； and to appoint
leeks or lettuce for my broth； to order me white wine or claret； and so
as to all other things； which are indifferent to my palate and custom。
I know very well that I do nothing for them in so doing； because
sharpness and strangeness are incidents of the very essence of physic。
Lycurgus ordered wine for the sick Spartans。 Why？ because they
abominated the drinking it when they were well； as a gentleman； a
neighbour of mine； takes it as an excellent medicine in his fever；
because naturally he mortally hates the tas