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it。 Finally； all that can be said in favour of the Academy is； that it
was a love which ended in friendship； which well enough agrees with the
Stoical definition of love：
〃Amorem conatum esse amicitiae faciendae
ex pulchritudinis specie。〃
＇〃Love is a desire of contracting friendship arising from the beauty
of the object。〃Cicero； Tusc。 Quaes。； vi。 34。＇
I return to my own more just and true description：
〃Omnino amicitiae； corroboratis jam confirmatisque；
et ingeniis； et aetatibus； judicandae sunt。〃
＇〃Those are only to be reputed friendships that are fortified and
confirmed by judgement and the length of time。〃
Cicero； De Amicit。；c。 20。＇
For the rest； what we commonly call friends and friendships； are nothing
but acquaintance and familiarities； either occasionally contracted； or
upon some design； by means of which there happens some little intercourse
betwixt our souls。 But in the friendship I speak of； they mix and work
themselves into one piece； with so universal a mixture； that there is no
more sign of the seam by which they were first conjoined。 If a man
should importune me to give a reason why I loved him； I find it could no
otherwise be expressed； than by making answer： because it was he； because
it was I。 There is； beyond all that I am able to say； I know not what
inexplicable and fated power that brought on this union。 We sought one
another long before we met； and by the characters we heard of one
another； which wrought upon our affections more than； in reason； mere
reports should do； I think 'twas by some secret appointment of heaven。
We embraced in our names； and at our first meeting； which was
accidentally at a great city entertainment； we found ourselves so
mutually taken with one another； so acquainted； and so endeared betwixt
ourselves； that from thenceforward nothing was so near to us as one
another。 He wrote an excellent Latin satire； since printed； wherein he
excuses the precipitation of our intelligence； so suddenly come to
perfection； saying； that destined to have so short a continuance； as
begun so late （for we were both full…grown men； and he some years the
older）； there was no time to lose； nor were we tied to conform to the
example of those slow and regular friendships； that require so many
precautions of long preliminary conversation： This has no other idea than
that of itself； and can only refer to itself： this is no one special
consideration； nor two； nor three； nor four； nor a thousand； 'tis I know
not what quintessence of all this mixture； which； seizing my whole will；
carried it to plunge and lose itself in his； and that having seized his
whole will； brought it back with equal concurrence and appetite to plunge
and lose itself in mine。 I may truly say lose； reserving nothing to
ourselves that was either his or mine。 ＇All this relates to Estienne de
la Boetie。＇
When Laelius； ＇Cicero； De Amicit。； c。 II。＇ in the presence of the
Roman consuls； who after thay had sentenced Tiberius Gracchus； prosecuted
all those who had had any familiarity with him also； came to ask Caius
Blosius； who was his chiefest friend； how much he would have done for
him； and that he made answer： 〃All things。〃 〃How！ All things！〃 said
Laelius。 〃And what if he had commanded you to fire our temples？〃 〃He
would never have commanded me that；〃 replied Blosius。 〃But what if he
had？〃 said Laelius。 〃I would have obeyed him；〃 said the other。 If he
was so perfect a friend to Gracchus as the histories report him to have
been； there was yet no necessity of offending the consuls by such a bold
confession； though he might still have retained the assurance he had of
Gracchus' disposition。 However； those who accuse this answer as
seditious； do not well understand the mystery； nor presuppose； as it was
true； that he had Gracchus' will in his sleeve； both by the power of a
friend； and the perfect knowledge he had of the man： they were more
friends than citizens； more friends to one another than either enemies or
friends to their country； or than friends to ambition and innovation；
having absolutely given up themselves to one another； either held
absolutely the reins of the other's inclination； and suppose all this
guided by virtue； and all this by the conduct of reason； which also
without these it had not been possible to do； Blosius' answer was such as
it ought to be。 If any of their actions flew out of the handle； they
were neither （according to my measure of friendship） friends to one
another； nor to themselves。 As to the rest； this answer carries no worse
sound； than mine would do to one that should ask me： 〃If your will should
command you to kill your daughter； would you do it？〃 and that I should
make answer； that I would； for this expresses no consent to such an act；
forasmuch as I do not in the least suspect my own will； and as little
that of such a friend。 'Tis not in the power of all the eloquence in the
world； to dispossess me of the certainty I have of the intentions and
resolutions of my friend； nay； no one action of his； what face soever it
might bear； could be presented to me； of which I could not presently；
and at first sight； find out the moving cause。 Our souls had drawn so
unanimously together； they had considered each other with so ardent an
affection； and with the like affection laid open the very bottom of our
hearts to one another's view； that I not only knew his as well as my own；
but should certainly in any concern of mine have trusted my interest much
more willingly with him； than with myself。
Let no one； therefore； rank other common friendships with such a one as
this。 I have had as much experience of these as another； and of the most
perfect of their kind： but I do not advise that any should confound the
rules of the one and the other； for they would find themselves much
deceived。 In those other ordinary friendships； you are to walk with
bridle in your hand； with prudence and circumspection； for in them the
knot is not so sure that a man may not half suspect it will slip。 〃Love
him；〃 said Chilo；＇Aulus Gellius； i。 3。＇ 〃so as if you were one day to
hate him； and hate him so as you were one day to love him。〃 This
precept； though abominable in the sovereign and perfect friendship I
speak of； is nevertheless very sound as to the practice of the ordinary
and customary ones； and to which the saying that Aristotle had so
frequent in his mouth； 〃O my friends； there is no friend；〃 may very fitly
be applied。 In this noble commerce； good offices； presents； and
benefits； by which other friendships are supported and maintained； do not
deserve so much as to be mentioned； and the reason is the concurrence of
our wills； for； as the kindness I have for myself receives no increase；
for anything I relieve myself withal in time of need （whatever the Stoics
say）； and as I do not find myself obliged to myself for any service I do
myself： so the union of such friends； being truly perfect； deprives them
of all idea of such duties； and makes them loathe and banish from their
conversation these words of division and distinction； benefits；