the foundations of personality-第92章

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walked　home　at　six；　taking　exactly　20　minutes　to　do　it；　washed；　lay　on　the　couch　fifteen　minutes　with　mind　fixed　on　infinity　（a　Hindoo　trick；　so　he　heard）；　ate　dinner；　which　never　varied　much　from　rice；　cream；　potatoes；　milk　and；　heritage　of　saner　days；　a　small　piece　of　pie！　All　the　day　he　watched　each　pain　and　ache；　noted　whether　he　belched　or　spit　more　than　usual；　and　at　night　went　to　sleep　at　10。30。　Needless　to　say　he　had　no　friends；　was　known　as　〃that　nut〃　and　really　broke　down　from　too　arduous　an　introspective　existence。　The　term　self…denial　has　been　used　from　earliest　times　to　indicate　what　we　have　called　inhibition。　But　self…denial　is　fundamentally　a　wrong　term；　since　it　implies　that　the　self　is　that　which　lusts　and　shirks；　and　that　which　controls　desire　and　holds　the　individual　to　a　consistent　and　ethical　line　of　conduct　is　not　the　self。　In　fact；　the　self　is　based　on　inhibition　and　control；　and　when　there　is　failure　in　these　regards　there　is　self…failure。　Interesting　is　the　under…inhibited　person。　I　mean　by　this　term　the　one　who　consistently　and　in　most　relationship　shows　an　inability　to　control　the　primitive　instincts；　impulses　and　desires。　J。　F。　may　stand　as　a　type　that　becomes　the　〃black　sheep〃　and　in　many　cases　the　〃criminal。〃　He　comes　of　what　is　known　as　a　〃good　family；〃　which　in　his　case　means　that　the　parents　are　well…to…do；　of　good　reputation　and　rather　above　the　average　in　intelligence。　The　brothers　and　sisters　have　all　done　well；　are　settled　in　their　ways　and　are　not　to　be　distinguished　from　the　people　of　their　social　set　in　manners　or　morals。　It　was　impossible　to　discipline　J。　As　a　very　young　child　he　resisted　his　mother's　efforts　to　train　him　into　tidiness　or　restraint。　He　stole　whatever　he　desired；　and　though　he　was　alternately　punished　and　pleaded　with；　though　he　seemed　to　desire　to　please　his　parents；　he　continued　to　steal　whenever　there　was　opportunity。　At　six　he　entered　a　neighbor's　house；　and　while　there　took　a　purse　that　was　lying　on　a　table；　rifled　it　of　its　contents　and　disappeared　for　nearly　a　day；　when　he　was　found　in　a　down…town　district；　having　gorged　himself　with　candy　and　cake。　From　then　on　his　peculations　increased；　and　his　conduct　became　the　scandal　of　his　family；　for　he　stole　even　from　the　maids　employed　in　the　house；　as　well　as　from　guests。　In　each　case　the　stealing　was　apparently　motivated　to　give　a　good　time　to　himself　and　also　to　certain　chums　he　made　here　and　there　in　the　city。　He　would　lie　to　evade　punishment；　but　finally　would　yield；　confess　his　guilt；　express　deepest　repentance　and　accept　his　punishment　with　the　sincerity　of　one　fully　conscious　of　deserving　it。　In　school　he　did　poorly。　He　was　bright　enough。　In　fact；　he　was　somewhat　above　the　average　in　memory　and　comprehension　and　may　be　described　as　keen；　but　it　was　difficult　for　him　to　keep　his　attention　consistently　on　any　subject；　and　the　discipline　of　school　irked　him。　He　ran　away　several　times　to　avoid　school；　and　each　time；　until　he　was　about　fourteen；　came　back　after　a　few　days；bedraggled；　hungry　and　repentant。　The　freedom　of　the　streets　appealed　to　him　as　offering　a　life　varied　enough　to　suit　his　nature；　and　with　excitement　and　adventure　always　in　the　air。　So　he　mingled　with　all　kinds　of　boys　and　men　and　at　the　age　of　fourteen　shocked　his　parents　by　being　arrested　as　one　of　a　gang　that　was　engaged　in　robbing　drunken　men　in　the　slum　quarters　of　the　city。　It　took　all　kinds　of　influence　to　get　him　released　on　probation；　but　this　was　accomplished　and　then　the　boy　disappeared　from　home。　He　was　gone　three　years　and　despite　all　search　had　completely　disappeared。　His　people　had　given　up　all　hope　of　seeing　him　again　（although　certain　members　of　his　family　were　not　at　all　saddened　by　the　prospect）　when　they　received　a　communication　from　the　police　of　a　distant　city　with　a　photograph　of　the　boy；　asking　if　it　was　true　that　he　was　their　son。　It　seems　that　J。　had　drifted　from　place　to　place；　now　working　as　newsboy；　stable　hand；　errand　boy；　messenger；　theater…usher；　until　he　had　reached　this　city。　There　he　was　wandering　on　the　streets；　hungry　and　ragged；　when　a　philanthropic　old　gentleman　noticed　him。　J。　has　the　good　fortune　to　be　very　innocent　looking；　and　no　matter　what　his　crimes；　his　face　might　belong　to　a　cherub。　A　friend　once　stated　that　if　J。　appeared　at　Heaven's　gate；　St。　Peter　would　surely　take　him　to　be　an　angel　come　back　from　a　stroll　and　let　him　in。　The　philanthropist　stopped；　the　boy　and　inquired　into　his　history。　J。　told　him　a　very　affecting　story　of　being　an　orphan　whom　a　cruel　guardian　had　robbed　of　his　heritage　and　exaggerated　his　sufferings　until　the　indignant　old　fellow　threatened　to　have　the　police　prosecute　his　betrayer。　With　a　show　of　great　magnanimity；　J。　refused　to　disclose　his　real　name；　and　the　philanthropist　took　him　home。　He　had　him　clothed　and　fed；　and　then；　taken　by　the　boy's　engaging　manners　and　bright　ways；　decided　to　educate　and　adopt　him。　He　was　dissuaded　from　the　latter　by　a　friend；　but　he　sent　J。　to　a　private　school　of　good　grade。　To　the　surprise　of　the　old　man；　J。　was　continually　getting　into　mischief；　and　finally　he　was　accused　of　stealing。　Unable　to　believe　the　school　authorities；　the　old　gentleman　took　the　boy　home　and　quizzed　him。　He　gave　an　unsatisfactory　account　of　himself　and　that　night　disappeared　with　a　considerable　sum　of　money。　The　police　were　notified；　and　a　week　later　he　was　found　in　a　house　of　the　typeso　euphemistically　calledof　〃ill　fame。〃　There　he　was　spending　the　money　lavishly　on　the　inmates　and　was　indulging　his　every　desire。　One　of　the　women；　a　police　stool…pigeon；　identified　him　as　the　boy　who　was　wanted　by　the　law；　and　he　was　arrested。　Despite　the　efforts　of　the　parents　and　the　philanthropist；　the　boy　was　given　a　prison　sentence　and　is　still　serving　it。　Characteristic　of　this　group　of　personalities　are　these　traits：　（1）　an　impatience　with　the　arduous；　an　incapacity　or　unwillingness　to　wait　for　results　in　the　ordinary　way；　（2）　a　decided　dread　of　monotony；　a　longing　for　excitement；　（3）　an　inability　to　form　permanent　purposes　and　to　inhibit　the　distracting　desires；　（4）　a　desire　to　win　others'　good　opinion　and　sympathy；therefore　he　always　lavished　his　money　on　those　whom　that　kind　of　〃good　fellowship〃　wins　and　told　pathetic　stories　to　those　whose　sentimentality　made　them　easy　victims；　（5）　a　weak　kind　of　egoism；　seeking　easy　ways　to　pleasure　and　position；　restless　under　discipline；　always　repentant　after　wrong…doing；　fluent　in　speech　but　lacking　the　courage　to　face　the　difficulties　of　life。　This　under…inhibited　type　may　suddenly　reform　and　apparently　entirely　emerge　from　difficulties。　I　have　in　mind　a　conspicuous　case；　a　young　woman　now　happily　married　and　the　mother　of　fine　children。　When　she　was　thirteen　or　fourteen　the　petty　pilferings　of　her　childhood　took　on　a　serious　character。　She　began　to　steal　from　the　person　of　strangers　and　from　the　homes　of　friends。　She　romanced　in　the　most　convincing　fashion；　told　strangers　the　most　remarkable　stories；　usually　of　such　a　nature　as　to　make　her　interesting　and　an　object　of　sympathy；　but　which　tended　to　blacken　the　reputation　of　her　family。　She　lost　place　after　place　at　work；　was　sent　to　a　hospital　to　become　a　nurse　and　demoralized　her　associates