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cannot even now find words to render it intelligible。 It
consisted in a gradual but swiftly progressive obliteration of
space； time； sensation； and the multitudinous factors of
experience which seem to qualify what we are pleased to call our
Self。 In proportion as these conditions of ordinary consciousness
were subtracted； the sense of an underlying or essential
consciousness acquired intensity。 At last nothing remained but a
pure； absolute； abstract Self。 The universe became without form
and void of content。 But Self persisted； formidable in its vivid
keenness； feeling the most poignant doubt about reality； ready；
as it seemed； to find existence break as breaks a bubble round
about it。 And what then？ The apprehension of a coming
dissolution； the grim conviction that this state was the last
state of the conscious Self； the sense that I had followed the
last thread of being to the verge of the abyss； and had arrived
at demonstration of eternal Maya or illusion； stirred or seemed
to stir me up again。 The return to ordinary conditions of
sentient existence began by my first recovering the power of
touch； and then by the gradual though rapid influx of familiar
impressions and diurnal interests。 At last I felt myself once
more a human being； and though the riddle of what is meant by
life remained unsolved I was thankful for this return from the
abyssthis deliverance from so awful an initiation into the
mysteries of skepticism。
〃This trance recurred with diminishing frequency until I reached
the age of twenty…eight。 It served to impress upon my growing
nature the phantasmal unreality of all the circumstances which
contribute to a merely phenomenal consciousness。 Often have I
asked myself with anguish； on waking from that formless state of
denuded； keenly sentient being； Which is the unrealitythe
trance of fiery； vacant； apprehensive； skeptical Self from which
I issue； or these surrounding phenomena and habits which veil
that inner Self and build a self of flesh…and… blood
conventionality？ Again； are men the factors of some dream； the
dream…like unsubstantiality of which they comprehend at such
eventful moments？ What would happen if the final stage of the
trance were reached？〃＇231＇
＇231＇ H。 F。 Brown： J。 A。 Symonds。 a Biography； London； 1895； pp。
29…31； abridged。
In a recital like this there is certainly something suggestive of
pathology。＇232＇ The next step into mystical states carries us
into a realm that public opinion and ethical philosophy have long
since branded as pathological； though private practice and
certain lyric strains of poetry seem still to bear witness to its
ideality。 I refer to the consciousness produced by intoxicants
and anaesthetics； especially by alcohol。 The sway of alcohol
over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the
mystical faculties of human nature； usually crushed to earth by
the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour。 Sobriety
diminishes； discriminates； and says no； drunkenness expands；
unites； and says yes。 It is in fact the great exciter of the YES
function in man。 It brings its votary from the chill periphery
of things to the radiant core。 It makes him for the moment one
with truth。 Not through mere perversity do men run after it。 To
the poor and the unlettered it stands in the place of symphony
concerts and of literature； and it is part of the deeper mystery
and tragedy of life that whiffs and gleams of something that we
immediately recognize as excellent should be vouchsafed to so
many of us only in the fleeting earlier phases of what in its
totality is so degrading a poisoning。 The drunken consciousness
is one bit of the mystic consciousness； and our total opinion of
it must find its place in our opinion of that larger whole。
＇232＇ Crichton…Browne expressly says that Symonds's 〃highest
nerve centres were in some degree enfeebled or damaged by these
dreamy mental states which afflicted him so grievously。〃
Symonds was； however； a perfect monster of many…sided cerebral
efficiency； and his critic gives no objective grounds whatever
for his strange opinion； save that Symonds complained
occasionally； as all susceptible and ambitious men complain； of
lassitude and uncertainty as to his life's mission。
Nitrous oxide and ether； especially nitrous oxide； when
sufficiently diluted with air； stimulate the mystical
consciousness in an extraordinary degree。 Depth beyond depth of
truth seems revealed to the inhaler。 This truth fades out；
however； or escapes； at the moment of coming to； and if any words
remain over in which it seemed to clothe itself； they prove to be
the veriest nonsense。 Nevertheless； the sense of a profound
meaning having been there persists； and I know more than one
person who is persuaded that in the nitrous oxide trance we have
a genuine metaphysical revelation。
Some years ago I myself made some observations on this aspect of
nitrous oxide intoxication； and reported them in print。 One
conclusion was forced upon my mind at that time； and my
impression of its truth has ever since remained unshaken。 It is
that our normal waking consciousness； rational consciousness as
we call it； is but one special type of consciousness； whilst all
about it； parted from it by the filmiest of screens； there lie
potential forms of consciousness entirely different。 We may go
through life without suspecting their existence； but apply the
requisite stimulus； and at a touch they are there in all their
completeness； definite types of mentality which probably
somewhere have their field of application and adaptation。 No
account of the universe in its totality can be final which leaves
these other forms of consciousness quite disregarded。 How to
regard them is the questionfor they are so discontinuous with
ordinary consciousness。 Yet they may determine attitudes though
they cannot furnish formulas； and open a region though they fail
to give a map。 At any rate； they forbid a premature closing of
our
accounts with reality。 Looking back on my own experiences； they
all converge towards a kind of insight to which I cannot help
ascribing some metaphysical significance。 The keynote of it is
invariably a reconciliation。 It is as if the opposites of the
world； whose contradictoriness and conflict make all our
difficulties and troubles； were melted into unity。 Not only do
they； as contrasted species； belong to one and the same genus；
but one of the species； th