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legs； hands that dangled a mile out of his sleeves； feet that
might have served for shovels； and his whole frame most loosely
hung together。 His head was small； and flat at top； with huge
ears； large green glassy eyes； and a long snipe nose； so that it
looked like a weather…cock perched upon his spindle neck to tell
which way the wind blew。 To see him striding along the profile of
a hill on a windy day； with his clothes bagging and fluttering
about him； one might have mistaken him for the genius of famine
descending upon the earth； or some scarecrow eloped from a
cornfield。
His schoolhouse was a low building of one large room； rudely
constructed of logs； the windows partly glazed； and partly
patched with leaves of old copybooks。 It was most ingeniously
secured at vacant hours； by a *withe twisted in the handle of the
door； and stakes set against the window shutters； so that though
a thief might get in with perfect ease； he would find some
embarrassment in getting out； an idea most probably borrowed by
the architect； Yost Van Houten； from the mystery of an eelpot。
The schoolhouse stood in a rather lonely but pleasant situation；
just at the foot of a woody hill； with a brook running close by；
and a formidable birch…tree growing at one end of it。 From hence
the low murmur of his pupils' voices； conning over their lessons；
might be heard in a drowsy summer's day； like the hum of a
beehive； interrupted now and then by the authoritative voice of
the master； in the tone of menace or command； or； peradventure；
by the appalling sound of the birch； as he urged some tardy
loiterer along the flowery path of knowledge。 Truth to say； he
was a conscientious man； and ever bore in mind the golden maxim；
〃Spare the rod and spoil the child。〃 Ichabod Crane's scholars
certainly were not spoiled。
I would not have it imagined； however； that he was one of
those cruel potentates of the school who joy in the smart of
their subjects； on the contrary； he administered justice with
discrimination rather than severity； taking the burden off the
backs of the weak； and laying it on those of the strong。 Your
mere puny stripling； that winced at the least flourish of the
rod； was passed by with indulgence； but the claims of justice
were satisfied by inflicting a double portion on some little
tough wrong headed； broad…skirted Dutch urchin； who sulked and
swelled and grew dogged and sullen beneath the birch。 All this he
called 〃doing his duty by their parents；〃 and he never inflicted
a chastisement without following it by the assurance； so
consolatory to the smarting urchin； that 〃he would remember it
and thank him for it the longest day he had to live。〃
When school hours were over； he was even the companion and
playmate of the larger boys； and on holiday afternoons would
convoy some of the smaller ones home； who happened to have pretty
sisters； or good housewives for mothers； noted for the comforts
of the cupboard。 Indeed； it behooved him to keep on good terms
with his pupils。 The revenue arising from his school was small；
and would have been scarcely sufficient to furnish him with daily
bread； for he was a huge feeder； and； though lank； had the
dilating powers of an anaconda； but to help out his maintenance；
he was； according to country custom in those parts； boarded and
lodged at the houses of the farmers whose children he instructed。
With these he lived successively a week at a time； thus going the
rounds of the neighborhood； with all his worldly effects tied up
in a cotton handkerchief。
That all this might not be too onerous on the purses of his
rustic patrons； who are apt to considered the costs of schooling
a grievous burden； and schoolmasters as mere drones he had
various ways of rendering himself both useful and agreeable。
He assisted the farmers occasionally in the lighter labors of
their farms； helped to make hay； mended the fences； took the
horses to water； drove the cows from pasture； and cut wood
for the winter fire。 He laid aside； too； all the dominant
dignity and absolute sway with which he lorded it in his
little empire； the school； and became wonderfully gentle
and ingratiating。 He found favor in the eyes of the mothers
by petting the children； particularly the youngest； and like
the lion bold； which whilom so magnanimously the lamb did hold；
he would sit with a child on one knee； and rock a cradle with
his foot for whole hours together。
In addition to his other vocations； he was the singing…
master of the neighborhood； and picked up many bright shillings
by instructing the young folks in psalmody。 It was a matter of no
little vanity to him on Sundays； to take his station in front of
the church gallery； with a band of chosen singers； where； in his
own mind； he completely carried away the palm from the parson。
Certain it is； his voice resounded far above all the rest of the
congregation； and there are peculiar quavers still to be heard in
that church； and which may even be heard half a mile off； quite
to the opposite side of the mill…pond； on a still Sunday morning；
which are said to be legitimately descended from the nose of
Ichabod Crane。 Thus； by divers little makeshifts； in that
ingenious way which is commonly denominated 〃by hook and by
crook；〃 the worthy pedagogue got on tolerably enough； and was
thought； by all who understood nothing of the labor of headwork；
to have a wonderfully easy life of it。
The schoolmaster is generally a man of some importance in
the female circle of a rural neighborhood； being considered a
kind of idle； gentlemanlike personage； of vastly superior taste
and accomplishments to the rough country swains； and； indeed；
inferior in learning only to the parson。 His appearance；
therefore； is apt to occasion some little stir at the tea…table
of a farmhouse； and the addition of a supernumerary dish of cakes
or sweetmeats； or； peradventure； the parade of a silver teapot。
Our man of letters； therefore； was peculiarly happy in the smiles
of all the country damsels。 How he would figure among them in the
churchyard； between services on Sundays； gathering grapes for
them from the wild vines that overran the surrounding trees；
reciting for their amusement all the epitaphs on the tombstones；
or sauntering； with a whole bevy of them； along the banks of the
adjacent mill…pond； while the more bashful country bumpkins hung
sheepishly back； envying his superior elegance and address。
From his half…itinerant life； also； he was a kind of
traveling gazette； carrying the whole budget of local gossip from
house to house； so that his appearance was always greeted with
satisfaction。 He was； moreover； esteemed by the women as a man of
great erudition； for he had read several books quite through； and
was a perfect master of Cotton Mather's 〃History of New Englan