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the ways of men-第13章

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g Hungarian with a voice like two Bacian bulls)  fill the sitting…room; where the piano gets but little rest。   Neither sunshine nor soft winds can draw them to the deck。   Although too ill for the regular meals; this group eat and  drink during fifteen out of the twenty…four hours。

The deck; however; is not deserted; two fashionable  dressmakers revel there。  These sociable ladies asked the  COMMISSAIRE at the start 〃to introduce all the young unmarried  men to them;〃 as they wanted to be jolly。  They have a  numerous court around them; and champagne; like the  conversation; flows freely。  These ladies have already become  expert at shuffleboard; but their 〃sea legs〃 are not so good  as might be expected; and the dames require to be caught and  supported by their admirers at each moment to prevent them  from tripping … an immense joke; to judge by the peals of  laughter that follow。

The American wife of a French ambassador sits on the captain's  right。  A turn of the diplomatic wheel is taking the lady to  Madrid; where her position will call for supreme tact and  self…restraint。  One feels a thrill of national pride on  looking at her high…bred young face and listening as she chats  in French and Spanish; and wonders once more at the marvellous  faculty our women have of adapting themselves so graciously  and so naturally to difficult positions; which the women of  other nations rarely fill well unless born to the purple。  It  is the high opinion I have of my countrywomen that has made me  cavil; before now; on seeing them turned into elaborately  dressed nullities by foolish and too adoring husbands。

The voyage is wearing itself away。  Sunny days are succeeded  by gray mornings; as exquisite in their way; when one can feel  the ship fight against contending wind and wave; and shiver  under the blows received in a struggle which dashes the salt  spray high over the decks。  There is an aroma in the air then  that breathes new life into jaded nerves; and stirs the drop  of old Norse blood; dormant in most American veins; into  quivering ecstasy。  One dreams of throwing off the trammels of  civilized existence and returning to the free life of older  days。

But here is Havre glittering in the distance against her  background of chalk cliffs。  People come on deck in strangely  conventional clothes and with demure citified airs。   Passengers of whose existence you were unaware suddenly make  their appearance。  Two friends meet near me for the first  time。  〃Hallo; Jones!〃 says one of them; 〃are you crossing?〃

〃Yes;〃 answers Jones; 〃are you?〃

The company's tug has come alongside by this time; bringing  its budget of letters and telegrams。  The brief holiday is  over。  With a sigh one comes back to the positive and the  present; and patiently resumes the harness of life。




Chapter 9 … 〃Climbers〃 in England


THE expression 〃Little Englander;〃 much used of late to  designate an inhabitant of the Mother Isle in contra… distinction to other subjects of Her Majesty; expresses neatly  the feeling of our insular cousins not only as regards  ourselves; but also the position affected toward their  colonial brothers and sisters。

Have you ever noticed that in every circle there is some  individual assuming to do things better than his comrades … to  know more; dress better; run faster; pronounce more correctly?   Who; unless promptly suppressed; will turn the conversation  into a monologue relating to his own exploits and opinions。   To differ is to bring down his contempt upon your devoted  head!  To argue is time wasted!

Human nature is; however; so constituted that a man of this  type mostly succeeds in hypnotizing his hearers into sharing  his estimate of himself; and impressing upon them the  conviction that he is a rare being instead of a commonplace  mortal。  He is not a bad sort of person at bottom; and ready  to do one a friendly turn … if it does not entail too great  inconvenience。  In short; a good fellow; whose principal  defect is the profound conviction that he was born superior to  the rest of mankind。

What this individual is to his environment; Englishmen are to  the world at large。  It is the misfortune; not the fault; of  the rest of the human race; that they are not native to his  island; a fact; by the way; which outsiders are rarely allowed  to lose sight of; as it entails a becoming modesty on their  part。

Few idiosyncrasies get more quickly on American nerves or are  further from our hearty attitude toward strangers。  As we are  far from looking upon wandering Englishmen with suspicion; it  takes us some time to realize that Americans who cut away from  their countrymen and settle far from home are regarded with  distrust and reluctantly received。  When a family of this kind  prepares to live in their neighborhood; Britons have a formula  of three questions they ask themselves concerning the new… comers: 〃Whom do they know?  How much are they worth?〃 and  〃What amusement (or profit) are we likely to get out of them?〃   If the answer to all or any of the three queries is  satisfactory; my lord makes the necessary advances and becomes  an agreeable; if not a witty or original; companion。

Given this and a number of other peculiarities; it seems  curious that a certain class of Americans should be so anxious  to live in England。  What is it tempts them?  It cannot be the  climate; for that is vile; nor the city of London; for it is  one of the ugliest in existence; nor their 〃cuisine〃 … for  although we are not good cooks ourselves; we know what good  food is and could give Britons points。  Neither can it be art;  nor the opera; … one finds both better at home or on the  Continent than in England。  So it must be society; and here  one's wonder deepens!

When I hear friends just back from a stay over there enlarging  on the charms of 〃country life;〃 or a London 〃season;〃 I look  attentively to see if they are in earnest; so incomparably  dull have I always found English house parties or town  entertainments。  At least that side of society which the  climbing stranger mostly affects。  Other circles are charming;  if a bit slow; and the 〃Bohemia〃 and semi…Bohemia of London  have a delicate flavor of their own。

County society; that ideal life so attractive to American  readers of British novels; is; taken on the whole; the most  insipid existence conceivable。  The women lack the sparkle and  charm of ours; the men; who are out all day shooting or  hunting according to the season; get back so fagged that if  they do not actually drop asleep at the dinner…table; they  will nap immediately after; brightening only when the ladies  have retired; when; with evening dress changed for comfortable  smoking suits; the hunters congregate in the billiard…room for  cigars and brandy and seltzer。

A particularly agreeable American woman; whose husband insists  on going every winter to Melton…Mowbray for the hunting; was  describing the other day the life there among the women; and  expressing her wonder that those who did not hunt could  refrain from blowing out their brains; so awful was the  dulness and monotony!  She had ended by not dining out at all;  having discovered that the conversation
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