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g Hungarian with a voice like two Bacian bulls) fill the sitting…room; where the piano gets but little rest。 Neither sunshine nor soft winds can draw them to the deck。 Although too ill for the regular meals; this group eat and drink during fifteen out of the twenty…four hours。
The deck; however; is not deserted; two fashionable dressmakers revel there。 These sociable ladies asked the COMMISSAIRE at the start 〃to introduce all the young unmarried men to them;〃 as they wanted to be jolly。 They have a numerous court around them; and champagne; like the conversation; flows freely。 These ladies have already become expert at shuffleboard; but their 〃sea legs〃 are not so good as might be expected; and the dames require to be caught and supported by their admirers at each moment to prevent them from tripping … an immense joke; to judge by the peals of laughter that follow。
The American wife of a French ambassador sits on the captain's right。 A turn of the diplomatic wheel is taking the lady to Madrid; where her position will call for supreme tact and self…restraint。 One feels a thrill of national pride on looking at her high…bred young face and listening as she chats in French and Spanish; and wonders once more at the marvellous faculty our women have of adapting themselves so graciously and so naturally to difficult positions; which the women of other nations rarely fill well unless born to the purple。 It is the high opinion I have of my countrywomen that has made me cavil; before now; on seeing them turned into elaborately dressed nullities by foolish and too adoring husbands。
The voyage is wearing itself away。 Sunny days are succeeded by gray mornings; as exquisite in their way; when one can feel the ship fight against contending wind and wave; and shiver under the blows received in a struggle which dashes the salt spray high over the decks。 There is an aroma in the air then that breathes new life into jaded nerves; and stirs the drop of old Norse blood; dormant in most American veins; into quivering ecstasy。 One dreams of throwing off the trammels of civilized existence and returning to the free life of older days。
But here is Havre glittering in the distance against her background of chalk cliffs。 People come on deck in strangely conventional clothes and with demure citified airs。 Passengers of whose existence you were unaware suddenly make their appearance。 Two friends meet near me for the first time。 〃Hallo; Jones!〃 says one of them; 〃are you crossing?〃
〃Yes;〃 answers Jones; 〃are you?〃
The company's tug has come alongside by this time; bringing its budget of letters and telegrams。 The brief holiday is over。 With a sigh one comes back to the positive and the present; and patiently resumes the harness of life。
Chapter 9 … 〃Climbers〃 in England
THE expression 〃Little Englander;〃 much used of late to designate an inhabitant of the Mother Isle in contra… distinction to other subjects of Her Majesty; expresses neatly the feeling of our insular cousins not only as regards ourselves; but also the position affected toward their colonial brothers and sisters。
Have you ever noticed that in every circle there is some individual assuming to do things better than his comrades … to know more; dress better; run faster; pronounce more correctly? Who; unless promptly suppressed; will turn the conversation into a monologue relating to his own exploits and opinions。 To differ is to bring down his contempt upon your devoted head! To argue is time wasted!
Human nature is; however; so constituted that a man of this type mostly succeeds in hypnotizing his hearers into sharing his estimate of himself; and impressing upon them the conviction that he is a rare being instead of a commonplace mortal。 He is not a bad sort of person at bottom; and ready to do one a friendly turn … if it does not entail too great inconvenience。 In short; a good fellow; whose principal defect is the profound conviction that he was born superior to the rest of mankind。
What this individual is to his environment; Englishmen are to the world at large。 It is the misfortune; not the fault; of the rest of the human race; that they are not native to his island; a fact; by the way; which outsiders are rarely allowed to lose sight of; as it entails a becoming modesty on their part。
Few idiosyncrasies get more quickly on American nerves or are further from our hearty attitude toward strangers。 As we are far from looking upon wandering Englishmen with suspicion; it takes us some time to realize that Americans who cut away from their countrymen and settle far from home are regarded with distrust and reluctantly received。 When a family of this kind prepares to live in their neighborhood; Britons have a formula of three questions they ask themselves concerning the new… comers: 〃Whom do they know? How much are they worth?〃 and 〃What amusement (or profit) are we likely to get out of them?〃 If the answer to all or any of the three queries is satisfactory; my lord makes the necessary advances and becomes an agreeable; if not a witty or original; companion。
Given this and a number of other peculiarities; it seems curious that a certain class of Americans should be so anxious to live in England。 What is it tempts them? It cannot be the climate; for that is vile; nor the city of London; for it is one of the ugliest in existence; nor their 〃cuisine〃 … for although we are not good cooks ourselves; we know what good food is and could give Britons points。 Neither can it be art; nor the opera; … one finds both better at home or on the Continent than in England。 So it must be society; and here one's wonder deepens!
When I hear friends just back from a stay over there enlarging on the charms of 〃country life;〃 or a London 〃season;〃 I look attentively to see if they are in earnest; so incomparably dull have I always found English house parties or town entertainments。 At least that side of society which the climbing stranger mostly affects。 Other circles are charming; if a bit slow; and the 〃Bohemia〃 and semi…Bohemia of London have a delicate flavor of their own。
County society; that ideal life so attractive to American readers of British novels; is; taken on the whole; the most insipid existence conceivable。 The women lack the sparkle and charm of ours; the men; who are out all day shooting or hunting according to the season; get back so fagged that if they do not actually drop asleep at the dinner…table; they will nap immediately after; brightening only when the ladies have retired; when; with evening dress changed for comfortable smoking suits; the hunters congregate in the billiard…room for cigars and brandy and seltzer。
A particularly agreeable American woman; whose husband insists on going every winter to Melton…Mowbray for the hunting; was describing the other day the life there among the women; and expressing her wonder that those who did not hunt could refrain from blowing out their brains; so awful was the dulness and monotony! She had ended by not dining out at all; having discovered that the conversation