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the ways of men-第14章

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ness and monotony!  She had ended by not dining out at all;  having discovered that the conversation never by any chance  deviated far from the knees of the horses and the height of  the hedges!

Which reminds one of Thackeray relating how he had longed to  know what women talked about when they were alone after  dinner; imagining it to be on mysterious and thrilling  subjects; until one evening he overheard such a conversation  and found it turned entirely on children and ailments!  As  regards wit; the English are like the Oriental potentate who  at a ball in Europe expressed his astonishment that the guests  took the trouble to dance and get themselves hot and  dishevelled; explaining that in the East he paid people to do  that for him。  In England 〃amusers〃 are invited expressly to  be funny; anything uttered by one of these delightful  individuals is sure to be received with much laughter。  It is  so simple that way!  One is prepared and knows when to laugh。   Whereas amateur wit is confusing。  When an American I knew;  turning over the books on a drawing…room table and finding  Hare's WALKS IN LONDON; in two volumes; said; 〃So you part  your hair in the middle over here;〃 the remark was received in  silence; and with looks of polite surprise。

It is not necessary; however; to accumulate proofs that this  much described society is less intelligent than our own。   Their authors have acknowledged it; and well they may。  For  from Scott and Dickens down to Hall Caine; American  appreciation has gone far toward establishing the reputation  of English writers at home。

In spite of lack of humor and a thousand other defects which  ought to make English swelldom antagonistic to our countrymen;  the fact remains that 〃smart〃 London tempts a certain number  of Americans and has become a promised land; toward which they  turn longing eyes。  You will always find a few of these  votaries over there in the 〃season;〃 struggling bravely up the  social current; making acquaintances; spending money at  charity sales; giving dinners and fetes; taking houses at  Ascot and filling them with their new friends' friends。  With  more or less success as the new…comers have been able to  return satisfactory answers to the three primary questions。

What Americans are these; who force us to blush for them  infinitely more than for the unlettered tourists trotting  conscientiously around the country; doing the sights and  asking for soda…water and buckwheat cakes at the hotels!

Any one who has been an observer of the genus 〃Climber〃 at  home; and wondered at their way and courage; will recognize  these ambitious souls abroad; five minutes' conversation is  enough。  It is never about a place that they talk; but of the  people they know。  London to them is not the city of Dickens。   It is a place where one may meet the Prince of Wales and  perhaps obtain an entrance into his set。

One description will cover most climbers。  They are; as a  rule; people who start humbly in some small city; then when  fortune comes; push on to New York and Newport; where they  carry all before them and make their houses centres and  themselves powers。  Next comes the discovery that the circle  into which they have forced their way is not nearly as  attractive as it appeared from a distance。  Consequently that  vague disappointment is felt which most of us experience on  attaining a long desired goal … the unsatisfactoriness of  success!  Much the same sensation as caused poor Du Maurier to  answer; when asked shortly before his death why he looked so  glum; 〃I'm soured by success!〃

So true is this of all human nature that the following recipe  might be given for the attainment of perfect happiness: 〃Begin  far down in any walk of life。  Rise by your efforts higher  each year; and then be careful to die before discovering that  there is nothing at the top。  The excitement of the struggle …  ‘the rapture of the chase' … are greater joys than  achievement。〃

Our ambitious friends naturally ignore this bit of philosophy。   When it is discovered that the 〃world〃 at home has given but  an unsatisfactory return for cash and conniving; it occurs to  them that the fault lies in the circle; and they assume that  their particular talents require a larger field。  Having  conquered all in sight; these social Alexanders pine for a new  world; which generally turns out to be the 〃Old;〃 so a  crossing is made; and the 〃Conquest of England〃 begun with all  the enthusiasm and push employed on starting out from the  little native city twenty years before。

It is in Victoria's realm that foemen worthy of their steel  await the conquerors。  Home society was a too easy prey;  opening its doors and laying down its arms at the first  summons。  In England the new…comers find that their little  game has been played before; and; well; what they imagined was  a discovery proves to be a long…studied science with 〃DONNANT!  DONNANT!〃 as its fundamental law。  Wily opponents with trump  cards in their hands and a profound knowledge of 〃Hoyle〃  smilingly offer them seats。  Having acquired in a home game a  knowledge of 〃bluff;〃 our friends plunge with delight into the  fray; only to find English society so formed that; climb they  never so wisely; the top can never be reached。  Work as hard  as they may; succeed even beyond their fondest hopes; there  will always remain circles above; toward which to yearn …  people who will refuse to know them; houses they will never be  invited to enter。  Think of the charm; the attraction such a  civilization must have for the real born climber; and you; my  reader; will understand why certain of our compatriots enjoy  living in England; and why when once the intoxicating draught  (supplied to the ambitious on the other side) has been tasted;  all home concoctions prove insipid。




Chapter 10 … CALVE at Cabrieres


WHILE I was making a 〃cure〃 last year at Lamalou; an obscure  Spa in the Cevennes Mountains; Madame Calve; to whom I had  expressed a desire to see her picturesque home; telegraphed an  invitation to pass the day with her; naming the train she  could meet; which would allow for the long drive to her  chateau before luncheon。  It is needless to say the invitation  was accepted。  As my train drew up at the little station;  Madame Calve; in her trap; was the first person I saw; and no  time was lost in getting EN ROUTE。

During the hour passed on the poplar…bordered road that leads  straight and white across the country I had time to appreciate  the transformation in the woman at my side。  Was this gray… clad; nunlike figure the passionate; sensuous Carmen of  Bizet's masterpiece?  Could that calm; pale face; crossed by  innumerable lines of suffering; as a spider's web lies on a  flower; blaze and pant with Sappho's guilty love?

Something of these thoughts must have appeared on my face; for  turning with a smile; she asked; 〃You find me changed?  It's  the air of my village。  Here I'm myself。  Everywhere else I'm  different。  On the stage I am any part I may be playing; but  am never really happy away from my hill there。〃  As she spoke;  a sun…baked hamlet came in sight; huddled around the base of  two tall towers that rose cool 
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