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unwillingly and with weariness。 So long as thou wearest a mortal body；
thou shalt feel weariness and heaviness of heart。 Therefore thou oughtest
to groan often in the flesh because of the burden of the flesh； inasmuch as
thou canst not give thyself to spiritual studies and divine contemplation
unceasingly。
2。 〃At such a time it is expedient for thee to flee to humble and
external works； and to renew thyself with good actions； to wait for My
coming and heavenly visitation with sure confidence； to bear thy exile and
drought of mind with patience； until thou be visited by Me again； and be
freed from all anxieties。 For I will cause thee to forget thy labours； and
altogether to enjoy peace。 I will spread open before thee the pleasant
pastures of the Scriptures； that with enlarged heart thou mayest begin to
run in the way of My commandments。 And thou shalt say； 'The
sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the
glory which shall be revealed in us。'〃（1）
（1） Romans viii。 18。
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CHAPTER 87
That a man ought not to reckon himself worthy of consolation； but
more worthy of chastisement
O Lord； I am not worthy of Thy consolation； nor of any spiritual
visitation； and therefore Thou dealest justly with me； when Thou leavest
me poor and desolate。 For if I were able to pour forth tears like the sea；
still should I not be worthy of Thy consolation。 Therefore am I nothing
worthy save to be scourged and punished； because I have grievously and
many a time offended Thee； and in many things have greatly sinned。
Therefore； true account being taken； I am not worthy even of the least of
Thy consolations。 But Thou； gracious and merciful God； who willest not
that Thy works should perish； to show forth the riches of Thy mercy upon
the vessels of mercy；（1） vouchsafest even beyond all his own deserving； to
comfort Thy servant above the measure of mankind。 For Thy
consolations are not like unto the discoursings of men。
2。 What have I done； O Lord； that Thou shouldest bestow any
heavenly comfort upon me？ I remember not that I have done any good；
but have been ever prone to sin and slow to amendment。 It is true and I
cannot deny it。 If I should say otherwise； Thou wouldst rise up against
me； and there should be none to defend me。 What have I deserved for
my sins but hell and everlasting fire？ In very truth I confess that I am
worthy of all scorn and contempt； nor is it fit that I should be remembered
among Thy faithful servants。 And although I be unwilling to hear this；
nevertheless I will for the Truth's sake； accuse myself of my sins； that the
more readily I may prevail to be accounted worthy of Thy mercy。
3。 What shall I say； guilty that I am and filled with confusion？ I have
no mouth to utter； unless it be this word alone； 〃I have sinned； Lord； I have
sinned； have mercy upon me； forgive me。〃 Let me alone； that I may take
comfort a little before I go whence I shall not return even to the land of
darkness and the shadow of death。（2） What dost Thou so much require
of a guilty and miserable sinner； as that he be contrite； and humble himself
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for his sins？ In true contrition and humiliation of heart is begotten the
hope of pardon； the troubled conscience is reconciled； lost grace is
recovered； a man is preserved from the wrath to come； and God and the
penitent soul hasten to meet each other with a holy kiss。（3）
4。 The humble contrition of sinners is an acceptable sacrifice unto
Thee； O Lord； sending forth a smell sweeter far in Thy sight than the
incense。 This also is that pleasant ointment which Thou wouldst have
poured upon Thy sacred feet； for a broken and contrite heart Thou hast
never despised。（4） There is the place of refuge from the wrathful
countenance of the enemy。 There is amended and washed away
whatsoever evil hath elsewhere been contracted。
（1） Romans ix。 23。 （2） Job x。 20； 21。 （3） Luke xv。 20。 （4） Psalm
li。 17。
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CHAPTER 88
That the Grace of God doth not join itself to those who mind
earthly things
〃My Son； precious is My grace； and it suffereth not itself to be joined
with outward things； nor with earthly consolations。 Therefore thou
oughtest to cast away all things which hinder grace； if thou longest to
receive the inpouring thereof。 Seek a secret place for thyself； love to
dwell alone with thyself； desire the conversation of no one； but rather pour
out thy devout prayer to God； that thou mayest possess a contrite mind and
a pure conscience。 Count the whole world as nought； seek to be alone
with God before all outward things。 For thou canst not be alone with Me；
and at the same time be delighted with transitory things。 Thou oughtest
to be separated from thy acquaintances and dear friends； and keep thy
mind free from all worldly comfort。 So the blessed Apostle Peter
beseecheth； that Christ's faithful ones bear themselves in this world as
strangers and pilgrims。（1）
2。 〃Oh how great a confidence shall there be to the dying man whom
no affection to anything detaineth in the world？ But to have a heart so
separated from all things； a sickly soul doth not yet comprehend； nor doth
the carnal man know the liberty of the spiritual man。 But if indeed he
desire to be spiritually minded； he must renounce both those who are far
off； and those who are near； and to beware of no man more than himself。
If thou perfectly conquer thyself； very easily shalt thou subdue all things
besides。 Perfect victory is the triumph over oneself。 For whoso keepeth
himself in subjection； in such manner that the sensual affectio